Post therapy session struggles

[Supermum]

I’ve been in therapy over 18 months after falling in a heap 4 years ago. My psychologist has been doing schema therapy with me and we have been doing chair work etc . The sessions can be very overwhelming and triggering and I struggle enormously with the after effects of these sessions. My psychologist is aware and helping to find ways to work through my difficulties but my time with him is coming to a close as it’s with the public health system so I have to find a new psychologist which is daunting and anxiety provoking and I just feel like I just cannot manage all this on top of the constant reel  of traumatic memories and invasive  thoughts mixed with the guilt and the punishment thoughts it’s just a bit much . Any other experiences like this and ways to deal with the after effects of therapy etc would be helpful 

[Supermum]

Hello again , 

much and how the hell can I deal with this whilst working full time in a challenging and emotionally draining job, whilst supporting family and running a household . Trying to keep the mask firmly in place and smiling through that god awful feeling of dread and darkness. The hollow smiles and humor to hide the sadness beneath . God it is shit….. I just wish it would bugger off and leave me just leave me the hell alone . 

[Supermum]

So that’s that . The proof of the pudding as they say . 1 month later…. Silence . Absolute silence and the same feeling I have had most of my life being unheard and misunderstood . Not important so therefore disposable .

[Croix]

Dear Supermum~

I guess the trick is to see yourself for what your really are, and that is not easy. it involves discounting what others say or do and firmly believe in your own judgment and worth.

I could not manage that for many years and worked myslef to the stage I was incapable of doing anything and was invalided out of my career as result

Sure I wore a mask until I basically collapsed. On looking back the mask delayed matters but simply made the end up result worse

You are not a disposable human being, in your core you know what is not true (though finding your core can be hard). Looking at how others behave is not a true indication of you. In fact it can be totally misleading and is more of a reflection of them - not you

You have judgment - use it on them - not you!

Croix