new person

[ecomama]

Hi everyone
not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happier that movements were restricted as I have had little choice but to live this way for a long time. Then I realised how odd this reaction is, opposite to what I was hearing at work. Simultaneously I felt huge grief for the world. I'm experiencing compassion fatigue from all of this.

my life has been wrought with trauma & grief, tremendous violence & loss. I desperately sought help from authorities to stop things over many decades. I have fought so hard through courts etc, I know it has cost me a lot of mental stability a lot of the time. At least my children and I are safe atm. Feeling safe is another thing entirely!

happiness eludes me. I strive for the happiness of my children. I don't know how to attain personal happiness, so have strived for contentment. I work hard physically but feel far more exhausted by my mind. flashbacks and memories often come back relentlessly in my waking hours and in my dreams. Working hard physically helps me sleep better 🙂

I used to be very sociable, quite athletic and had a large family. The abuse has taken its toll. My relationships were undermined by the abuser, so they are lost. My physical health was severely impacted by the abuse also. I have a counsellor but I was advised by a close friend who is studying psychology to seek a more intensive type of therapy. I have completed countless hours in therapy through books, online and in person over decades. My counsellor is very impressed by my persistence, resilience and recovery but I feel awful most of the time.

I have no relationships with extended family anymore which is very sad for me. I have basically given up trying since doors are constantly closed on that front.
Soon I plan to take leave from my work to support my children all struggling in their learning from home programs. I will have to take leave on far less pay, so this presents obvious issues to an already stretched financial situation.

I know there is no magic cure for all the issues I have at hand but I still have hope that things will improve and that I can feel happy one day. I pray there are answers within this forum for me.

Thanks for reading.

[ecomama]

Bluberry said:

Hey sweetie,

Yes, of course, they're written. I'm on their system (CAT system) for life. I can't believe it. To have this amended, I'll have to go to court. To access it, it's via freedom of information. I've requested that already but they will not release them. Because it's all made up. It'll come out but as I said, I'll have to action it with human rights or onbudsman etc. It's just emotionally draining. I'm exhausted darling. Sometimes I just want to give up. Writing these letters to organisations, state governments etc is VERY hard for me, as I'm reliving the traumas and I can only write (type) piecemeal. It's distressing. Arrggghhh!!

I want my story out there in the media so that no other Australian would ever have to endure this. It'll be for me as well as for community protection. Bloody a&*5s!! Sorry, I'm just so angry. I'm still thinking about this aspect.

Ok. Tbh I would do the least taxing on my time, money and energy FIRST.
When you feel up to it.

If there's an Ombudsman I'd choose that way first.
Remember all their calls are recorded... centre yourself. Invoke the rational side. We can do training later before your call.

Police told me to download a recording app to my phone. So ALL my calls are recorded lol!

omg when a certain type of person repeats what I already know... that I heard on the pre-recorded message JUST a second ago that ALL calls are recorded...
I say "Yes this call is being recorded. By me too. Police asked me to download a recording app because of all the death threats I was getting"
MAN is there a swift change from the snooty attitude to the "OMG they're recording ME too" kind of attitude. Butter wouldn't melt then.

My extremely Christian Aunty told me long ago.... "at times you have to fight fire with fire" and she was so correct there. So if SHE gave me "permission" lol then I was fine with it all.

The Police did, so pffft.

We've got to "next" this stuff Bluberry.

One thing at a time.
I'm not sure if there's a statute of limitations on specific charges that can be laid for your issues?

I segment my 2 days off for difficult things. Sometimes the "things" I began chasing up go a bit ballistic with calls coming at me for days... other times ok.

I do a self-care thing before.
Do the "thing" at 10am.
Self-care thing after.
Repeat.

Time off.

Here for you. You have so got this girlfriend.

EM

[ecomama]

monkey_magic said:The ex angel also did me wrong so yeh best to forget about him. And he is what you said and more.

Bluberry I'm going through something very similar. I have the paperwork to fill out to access my medical records, I then have to pay for them to be released to me. They are so bad. Rubbish, I want them burned. The psychiatrists that wrote them had mental problems. They are so ludicrous and the tribunal believe them so I've been stuck on this CTO and been drugged for nearly two years.

It's a traumatic process hense why I haven't filled them out yet. I just don't want to know any more of their garbage.

I also want my story to be heard. I want all of our stories to be heard. Mental health ( in my case) need to clean up their industry. It's full of lies and misdiagnosis'. I've spoken to many ppl in the same boat who have been bitten by the system.
Sorry that you too fell victim. You aren't alone there are heaps of us.

Girls... what you are saying is abhorrent, inhumane and should be stopped and dealt with asap.

I'd contact the ABC about this and get something happening.

I hope you get this done and rid of monkey_magic. It should NOT be happening.

Love EM

[Guest_498]

Thanks, girlfriend. I'm just in a lot of pain. The statute of limitations is 3 years for compensation. 🙂

[monkey_magic]

Hi EM,

I wholeheartedly agree with you. But, there was a case where someone tried taking action against them and went to the media but she got sued by psychiatrist's for defamation. It scared me a bit.
Justice doesn't always prevail.
They have caused such a mess in my life and I have to now spend all this money and clean it up.
I'm taking the route of another opinion from both a psychiatrist and clinical psychologist.
And at the next tribunal will hopefully have someone from legal aid present.

[Guest_498]

Btw EM,

Happy bday for the other day. Hope you enjoyed your special day. x

[Guest_498]

WHAT?!!! How is it defamation when it's TRUE?? I don't know the case, but this is unreal. Honestly. These bastards should be sued for defamation against OUR characters, not the other way 'round. I promise you, I'll try my best to nail them to the wall. They cannot do this to people. Lol, this anger is actually making me stronger and wanting to fight even harder for those they've abused. This is abusive and it's got to end. It has caused me so much damage. I can't even go to the freakin doctors because of it. This is wrong. Stay strong honey, and I'll try to do the same.

[monkey_magic]

Bluberry,

They are indeed bastards! And bulls*+t artists! And power- players. Good people do not lock others in psych wards and drug them, or, give them a diagnosis that isn't true to keep them in longer. That has been my personal experience. The ones I've encountered are very harmful people.
Even my doctor is scared of them lol. We went through a bunch of them on the computer, looked up their profiles and they were all dark characters. We were trying to find a psychiatrist for another opinion.

I don't blame you for losing trust but your story can be re- written by better health professionals. I'm giving it a shot.

I'm the same, I get really worked up about it. One time I went to the police bcas of how I was treated by a psychiatrist and he wouldn't see me again. Good riddance.

[Guest_498]

Hi lovely,
I'd like a referral for an assessment done too. Just have to get rid of this fear first.

[monkey_magic]

Hi back,

In your own time. I have no doubt you can do it. My clinical psychologist is really good and says I'm rational, my doctor has my back and doesn't believe the diagnosis's and I'm seeing the private psychiatrist shortly. She's who I'm most worried about.
I really hope and pray your fear lessens!

[Guest_498]

Thank you, Monkey_Magic. x