Needing some advice please

[Somebodyhelp]

Hello,

I am new to posting but I am feeling VERY low tonight and really in need of some advice on how to overcome a few things. I will do my best to keep it short and will summarise a lot.

I am a young mother (I have 3 children).

Growing up I lived in quite an abusive household. My mother is a narcissist and she was verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. I have been no contact with her now for 3 months as she is still very poisonous.

I am currently seeing a psychologist as I would like to heal. My biggest fear is becoming someone like my mother and inflicting pain on my family like she did. I am petrified of becoming her.

anyway, today I was at a friends house They repeated a story that I apparently told them when we were in high school and It was a lie.. a complete lie. I am sitting here now remembering some of the things I told people - I used to be a compulsive liar.. like, out of this world made up stories. I am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I couldn't even cough up the truth when they said it..

It has really depressed me as I am not sure why I felt the need to do this when I was younger. My life was dramatic enough lol. Although, I'm not sure anyone was very aware of what was going on in my house as my mother is "quite the woman" in this small town - I do not understand where on earth I could of even thought these stories up.

I feel very hopeless right now. I feel like I will never not be able to become my mother and it would be safer if I was alone.

[rustee_nails]

i definitely agree that bad relationships (at least in my life) have been freeing when there is no chance

or reconciliation. my mother has been responsible for saving tens of thousands of lives as a medical researcher

so i'm always letting her back in even though she thinks she was right to beat me black and blue for doing

things that it turned out were very clear grabs for attention of parents who worked 160 hours a week together.

(that's the other thing. your lying sounds like very normal teenage behavior.trying to get attention & testing boundaries etc.

the police used to bring me home at 4 in the morning when i was 6 . i was used to beatings & it got me attention that i subconsciously wanted.)

well every time i let my mum back in a little she sets my healing back in a big way.

resoldering that faulty wiring that tells you her behavior's normal.so be careful .

sometimes, like me ex wife, people just need to be

shouted at for eight hours straight and then walked away from forever.

i've been one of those way more often than the shouty one so i'm talking from experience.

i know i'm bad for certain people in my life so i stay away. but it's a humbling and hard lesson

to learn(and bloody depressing and lonely). so most will choose to keep trying.

human beings want to be social, but some simply do not deserve it. not from you anyway if it's harming you.

[blondguy]

Hey Somebody

Thanks for mega kind compliment 🙂

Its great that you can feel comfortable on the forums

Great to see you saw ha ha too!

I hope you can pop in again when you have the time

my best

Paul