Needing PTSD advice

[Anroca78]

Hi,

A year and a half ago, I was randomly attacked on my property by a stranger. I attended V of Crime counselling for 3 months and felt ok..until 6 months ago I started drinking. Binge drinking.At first, just once a week, but now it's 2-3 times a week. I hate it. I hide bottles and my son and partner are obviously worried. They want me to attend AA. I tried to find support groups for PTSD but can only find online support, not actual face to face support groups. There is lots of Anxiety meetings but most don't deal with PTSD. I am Bi Polar. You can see why the drinking needs to stop. The PTSD triggered multiple trauma I experienced under the age of 5. I just want to hear from others about how they deal with PTSD and alcohol abuse and would it be worthwhile for me to attend AA ?Thanks.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Anroca,

The attack on your property clearly had enormous emotional (and maybe even physical) repercussions. I’m so sorry that it happened...it must have been very traumatic.

I also drink to cope. Although my reasons are different to yours, I can relate to using alcohol to help me dull my pain. I feel it’s a coping mechanism when we’re struggling and overwhelmed...I know it’s not good for me but I turn to it anyway.

Sorry, I’ve never been to AA so I don’t know too much about it. But there are other members here who have been so hopefully they’ll see your thread and offer their thoughts.

Sorry, I realise that my post may not be very helpful. But I just wanted to say hello and tell you you’re not alone in your struggles and hurt.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Anroca78]

Hi Pepper,

Thankyou for your kind words. I was doing so well before the attack. My BP was manageable. This drinking, it's like it has come from nowhere even though the V of Crime Counsellor says it's common to treat trauma with drug/alcohol. If I was depressed or anxious then the drinking would be justifiable but that's the thing. I could be sitting at home, watching tv then BOOM! my brain craves the alcohol. Sometimes without warning, I would just grab my bag and go buy liquor. My partner has my credit card now and buying $350 worth of stuff on Ebay when drunk? yeah..pretty bad, that's shut down as well.Sometimes I drink half a bottle, sometimes a full bottle which is when I black out. Don't remember a thing. Maybe that's why I drink. For that blackout. I don't want to attend AA if it is the PTSD that is the main reason why I binge drink. But.. finishing a bottle of vodka in 2 hrs isn't exactly a good thing, especially when my meds are being affected, obviously I don't take them when I drink. I don't drink when I have normal (normal ha!) mania. I just enjoy the brightness of the mania..even if I don't sleep for 2 days! (My partner takes my credit card off me when I'm manic as well).It's so vicious, this PTSD. I hope people can help me. It's good to hear from those who have suffered or those who are going through it. I get regular psych sessions but it's not the same than hearing it from people who know about and can suggest different coping strategies.

[Just Sara]

Hi Anroca and welcome to our caring community;

Pepper's very gracious in answering your cry for help. Thanks Pep's! 🙂

That's the thing about this forum hun, we all understand the suffering you've described so we know the value of reaching out to support you when you ask for help.

I'm so sorry you're going thru the aftermath of your ordeal in such a life changing way. Alcohol abuse, as your psych says, is a common response to trauma. Unfortunately it's become yet another issue along with the BP for you and your family to deal with. Don't fret tho ok. Each step will take you further along your path of recovery. 🙂

Your experience of being attacked on your property has obviously triggered childhood trauma which as you psych says, is a common theme for PTSD sufferers. It might be good to speak with your psych about 'complex ptsd'.

Many people suffer with both ptsd and complex ptsd including me. I have a thread in the Trauma and PTSD Section of the forum pinned at the top called; 'Complex PTSD; what is it and how do we cope?' If you press 'All Posts' next to 'New Posts' it'll take you to the different sections. It's a little way down the page.

In the introduction I give an interpretation of cptsd and further down the page another one for ptsd. I repeat these during the thread at intervals in case people don't read the intro. You're more than welcome to post there or read thru to find commonalities with your situation and learn more about how to cope.

I'm not a professional by any means, so if you want a formal diagnosis you'll need to get a referral from your GP to see a psychiatrist. They're not like psychologists in that they focus on causative factors, the brain and medications more than daily life.

As for AA, alcohol isn't one of my vices but I've been to meetings and can assure you, you'll be among like minded souls who've experienced what you're going thru. There'll be plenty of support and hopefully listening to their stories will help you understand you're not alone.

I'm not sure if you're in a regional or metro area, so this depends on how many attend. Either way, walk in, introduce yourself and ask for help. This takes courage so please, bite the bullet and take the risk. Your life will be enhanced thru this experience.

Keep posting here too ok. It's lovely to meet you...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Anroca,

It’s great to hear from you again. I really admired how open and self aware you were in your latest post. I think Sez wrote a wonderfully helpful and insightful post so I’m glad you have her in your corner here as well 🙂

I feel the attack clearly triggered an emotional unravelling of sorts (so to speak). As you said, prior to it, you were doing okay but the attack just completely threw life as you knew it out of balance...

I can most definitely relate to how alcohol and impulse shopping can go hand in hand. Inhibitions fly out the door so I’m happy to spend when I’ve been drinking. I’ve purchased some strange things while under the influence...

I’m not a doctor but based on what you’re saying, it does seem like your brain/body has developed a certain reliance on alcohol hence the cravings....I know that after a certain period of drinking, some people no longer drink to dull their emotions or to feel good but it’s to feel “normal.”

I feel this is possibly your body flagging to you that perhaps now is a good time to consider getting help for your drinking...I say this out of concern and caring. I hope you don’t mind me saying that...

I understand your reservations about AA but can I just gently suggest you give it a go? If you don’t like it, there’s no obligation to return but I suppose the idea is to give yourself the best possible chance at healing...

I tend to drink as an emotional crutch personally. Occasionally, I’ll have the stray thought of wanting a drink for no particular reason so, to an extent, I get where you’re coming from.

You’re most welcome to write as much as you like. Feel free to chat, vent, etc. I hope we hear from you again when you feel it’s a good time for you 🙂

Warmth and kindness,

Pepper

[IreneM]

HI Anroca

I can't relate to you on the Alcohol completely, but I can with just about everything else. I agree with Peppermint about giving AA a go. I have heard positive stories about it from acquaintances who have tried it. It will take persistence though along with will power.

If your Psych hasn't already done so I encourage you to start some therapy, there are a range of psych therapies. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) helped me it is like a journey of self-discovery and you may in the early stages require an anti-depressant to prevent you from getting too down, as it takes you back to your past to face it as the cause of why things are happening now. Once you can accept these things as part of who you are and discover how you can cope with it, this is stage two; you can go on to manage it quite well. I'm not saying that CBT is for you your psych will know what's best so don't be afraid to ask and start to express yourself.

I am now off my anti-depressant with the assistance of medical advice after being on it for almost 4 years. I am coping quite well as long as I continue to follow the advice given by my psych at the time. So persistence will one day pay. Hold onto that HOPE!

My PTSD had similar causes to yours.