Hi 3T;
You haven't given us much info, but from what you have, I'm gathering both the intensity of the session and the panic attack are the issues you want to discuss?
I was diagnosed with Chronic PTSD and Anxiety/Panic disorder in Nov 2015. It explained a lifetime of behaviours and responses in one appt. Since then, I've managed to identify most of my triggers and found strategies to cope. My anxiety/panic has all but gone, and although light depression has set in, I'm aware of the issues behind it.
Therapy will open up old wounds so that leaving the past behind can happen. The term; 'What lies beneath' tends to sum it up I'm afraid. Most days I leave therapy feeling so much better than when I walked in, but things usually hit hard a few hours later.
The thing with PTSD is not knowing what'll trigger fear until you begin to work out background info of your trauma. I was raped by my de-facto at 21 while we were living together. It was particularly brutal, but until last yr (35 yrs later) I thought it was my fault.
Realisations of this nature need to be bought out into the open; they're very destructive. I still struggle with this belief because it's been around so long, but at least I know it exists. It can be very painful to confront the past, but unless we go to our sessions, nothing will change.
I'm not surprised about your aftermath panic attack; when therapy gets close to those beliefs, (most of which are about loss of power and being our fault) it can cut to the bone. Panic tells me your therapist is getting close to home. (my personal opinion btw)
Panic and anxiety although extremely scary and uncomfortable, are really helpful in identifying what we're scared 'of'. I consider them a valuable tool to get inside 'me'.
However in saying this, in the beginning, medication is a gentle way to lessen the symptoms to help with therapy and getting thru life in general. I wouldn't be here without them.
I'm not sure what else to say hun. If you have questions; please ask away. If you want to vent or purge this is great too. I'm here to listen.
Hope to hear from you soon...
Sara
