Hi all, so what has made me come here is a recent argument with my mum. This is the only real argument we've ever had and it's made me realise that she is a narcissist (my dad is possibly one too but right now I'm dealing with mum). My whole life I have just put up with her behaviour and have always seen it as just the way she is. It always seemed to hard to say anything negative about her behaviour because she'd make such a drama about it and it just didn't feel worth it. I have a 1 year old and am not going to put up with it all anymore for his sake. She goes against my wishes constantly and does the opposite of what she's been asked. This includes (but definitely isn't limited to) giving him food I've asked her not to give him, sharing photos of him with my brother who has a serious drug issue (I had no contact with him, hadn't told him I was pregnant and her explanation of why she did it without asking me was "you would've said no") and touching his head where his skull hasn't fused, even though I have asked her not to on multiple occasions.
My childhood was quite unstable. My parents split twice. My mother attempted suicide twice (I don't believe she had any intention of it succeeding as she contacted people while doing it) and apart from all that it was just a very unstable environment centred around my parents and what they needed and were feeling.
I finally got sick of it and sent her a list of things that she has done that are the opposite of what I asked. I also brought up things from my childhood and her response was basically that she disagrees with the things I've raised about my son so my concerns don't matter. In relation to my childhood her message was "I can't change the past. It sounds to me like you're resentful and angry about the part and only you can deal with that, just like I'm dealing with my past. There was no selfishness involved, it's much more complicated than that. I'm sorry you feel that way. I love you and wish you didn't have so much anger in you."
She has never taken responsibility for anything in her life from big things like the attempted suicides in my childhood to the smallest things like spilling milk on the floor. If something doesn't fit her narrative then she just lies about it, even if you witnessed it.
I know this is all part of her mental health issues but I'm really struggling with it as I know I can't get her to change or understand how I feel but it makes me so sad that she possibly won't be in my sons life.
