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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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rondwight How do I stop having breakdowns when i see/think about my toxic ex-boyfriend
  • replies: 4

Hi ! Background info: I dated my ex in high school before breaking up half way through first year uni. It was a very toxic relationship and I will say I also started to become toxic near the end which I am not anymore. However I did develop depressio... View more

Hi ! Background info: I dated my ex in high school before breaking up half way through first year uni. It was a very toxic relationship and I will say I also started to become toxic near the end which I am not anymore. However I did develop depression and severe anxiety while dating him which mainly stemmed from the fact I never knew if the next day he'd break up with me and if he loved me as there had been incidents where he was kept bringing up other girls and talking to them openly flaunting it to me. He was emotionally abusive and extremely manipulative (I have come to realise he had severe self-esteem issues on reflection). This lead to me not being able to eat, sleep, do basic functions, lose weight, and overall just become weak and overall I have traumatic memories of this period with bits missing in my memory and my mind not addressing this period of time mentally. Once we broke up however my life did get a lot better. However, it was a very messy breakup and I know I walked away and kept with my friends and tried not to interact nor cause drama with the people he knew out of common decency. However since the break up he has spread rumours about me , stalked me both in person and via social media, left letters at my door, messaged me numerous time and inappropriately tried to contact friends. Some of these activities happening one or two years after we broke up and even when he was dating another girl. SO anytime I see him in public, I know he is a coward and won't come and talk to me ever HOWEVER I still get extremely anxious and at times start to break down (tearing up, vision goes blurry, nauseous) seeing him as I get scared and start to think what if and mentally start thinking of the past wrongs. My question is are there any ways I can prevent or ease these sorts of behaviours and thoughts when I do see him. I'm sick of feeling anxious every time I think he may be in the area and want to ease my own mind to not have these reactions. Thank you in advance

Tialee Alone during covid19
  • replies: 14

Hi, this is my first time posting and I guess it's a big step on my road to recovery o could go on and on g or hours About my past hurt and trauma but I will save you all the agonising experience and just say it has left me with A case of bpd , anxie... View more

Hi, this is my first time posting and I guess it's a big step on my road to recovery o could go on and on g or hours About my past hurt and trauma but I will save you all the agonising experience and just say it has left me with A case of bpd , anxiety and depression . At this present point in time the world is going crazy but I'm finding it extra extremely difficult to go on living. I am a single mum I work full time and I'm currently off work due to a heap of medical issues . My children are at their fathers so I can recover and get better from said health issues As of tonight we go into lockdown which essentially means I am in lockdown alone and I'm finding it so hard to deal with . My anxiety is crippling , my head is a mess and I guess I'm just wondering how everyone else is dealing with being away from loved ones ?, Dealing with the extra added stress that the world is producing atm .? Thankyou

Guest_9043 The three Musketeers and the damage to me.
  • replies: 8

Hi Everyone, I call the the family I once had, the three Musketeers. It somewhat takes a little of the sting out for me. I was not able to use my voice for 40 years and I stayed quiet. I can't anymore. I was horrifically abused by all 3 Musketeers.Th... View more

Hi Everyone, I call the the family I once had, the three Musketeers. It somewhat takes a little of the sting out for me. I was not able to use my voice for 40 years and I stayed quiet. I can't anymore. I was horrifically abused by all 3 Musketeers.The usual brood, 1 mother, 1 father and 1 younger sibling. I have no contact with all 3 Musketeers anymore. There is a lot to deal with. Older Musketeer Female has NPD. I only discovered this 2 days ago. I'm trying to make sense of one incident out of the thousands. When I was 14 or 15, the three Musketeers left me at home alone on Christmas Eve to go and celebrate it with another family that we did every year. I cried all night alone. I cannot understand this event and it is still hard to face it yet it haunts me so. I had a falling out with this families daughter. Their daughter had lied about something I did not do and it was a serious allegation. No one believed me at the time. I knew I was innocent of this accusation. Their daughter made life at high school for me hell and systematically manipulated school authorities to turn in me too. I went into a deep depression and no one cared to ask me if I was ever ok? No one at all. Not even the three Musketeers. Much later in life the older female musketeer said to me that the daughters mother said to her that night that I was still welcome there that evening. No further discussion was had on it. I made no comment. On the older female Musketeers 60th birthday she said she had a surprise for everyone. I was a bit excited. The surprise.... The daughters parents attending my mother's birthday. Did not know till they arrived. I said nothing. I stayed quiet. I have stayed quiet all my life. My issues is not with the daughters parents, it is with the older female musketeer and the other two Musketeers. I see now separating what happened as it is two different stories mixed in with one that I was a victim from the daughter from these parents. I see now the incredible damage it did to me and my life. I have decided to do my own victim impact statement and send it to the parents of this daughter. I'm doing it for me and that's right for me. I don't understand. This is me telling that story for the first time. 2quik.

Bear1922 PTSD &ADDICTION
  • replies: 4

Any advice about how to rid myself of an addictive behaviour I was taught as an infant? The behaviour is benign but represents the last tentacles of my abuse. It would be good to rid myself of this behaviour, but perhaps I'm just too feeble to win th... View more

Any advice about how to rid myself of an addictive behaviour I was taught as an infant? The behaviour is benign but represents the last tentacles of my abuse. It would be good to rid myself of this behaviour, but perhaps I'm just too feeble to win this battle.

ElectricBlue Narcissistic parent/s
  • replies: 15

Hi all, so what has made me come here is a recent argument with my mum. This is the only real argument we've ever had and it's made me realise that she is a narcissist (my dad is possibly one too but right now I'm dealing with mum). My whole life I h... View more

Hi all, so what has made me come here is a recent argument with my mum. This is the only real argument we've ever had and it's made me realise that she is a narcissist (my dad is possibly one too but right now I'm dealing with mum). My whole life I have just put up with her behaviour and have always seen it as just the way she is. It always seemed to hard to say anything negative about her behaviour because she'd make such a drama about it and it just didn't feel worth it. I have a 1 year old and am not going to put up with it all anymore for his sake. She goes against my wishes constantly and does the opposite of what she's been asked. This includes (but definitely isn't limited to) giving him food I've asked her not to give him, sharing photos of him with my brother who has a serious drug issue (I had no contact with him, hadn't told him I was pregnant and her explanation of why she did it without asking me was "you would've said no") and touching his head where his skull hasn't fused, even though I have asked her not to on multiple occasions. My childhood was quite unstable. My parents split twice. My mother attempted suicide twice (I don't believe she had any intention of it succeeding as she contacted people while doing it) and apart from all that it was just a very unstable environment centred around my parents and what they needed and were feeling. I finally got sick of it and sent her a list of things that she has done that are the opposite of what I asked. I also brought up things from my childhood and her response was basically that she disagrees with the things I've raised about my son so my concerns don't matter. In relation to my childhood her message was "I can't change the past. It sounds to me like you're resentful and angry about the part and only you can deal with that, just like I'm dealing with my past. There was no selfishness involved, it's much more complicated than that. I'm sorry you feel that way. I love you and wish you didn't have so much anger in you." She has never taken responsibility for anything in her life from big things like the attempted suicides in my childhood to the smallest things like spilling milk on the floor. If something doesn't fit her narrative then she just lies about it, even if you witnessed it. I know this is all part of her mental health issues but I'm really struggling with it as I know I can't get her to change or understand how I feel but it makes me so sad that she possibly won't be in my sons life.

Gify I can't remember what it's like to be happy
  • replies: 3

Everytime I think it's going ok something happens to cause stress. I cry a lot I get the courage and strength to move on then it gets ripped right out from under me.

Everytime I think it's going ok something happens to cause stress. I cry a lot I get the courage and strength to move on then it gets ripped right out from under me.

Bluekimba Help i need advice.
  • replies: 3

Hi as a result of a few people sexually assaulting me in my child and teen years i have developed this.Im now 42 and im at the point where i dont want to be touched at all.not even kissing or hugging.I told my partner when i was younger this would be... View more

Hi as a result of a few people sexually assaulting me in my child and teen years i have developed this.Im now 42 and im at the point where i dont want to be touched at all.not even kissing or hugging.I told my partner when i was younger this would be a life time issue and he excepted it.Tje issues is no its getting worst to the point of i dont want sex at all.I dont even want to be cuddled in bed.I told him if he cant live like this i would understand if he wanted to leave.I do feel bad for him.I get mad everytime he gives me any indercation he wants to.I dont know what i should do

Blufftuff loved ones suffering trauma with you.
  • replies: 3

Having numerous accounts of trauma myself, the hardest thing was watching my family being there but feeling helpless. My wife would often cry herself to sleep and I could not even rollover or communicate with her to comfort her. This also really does... View more

Having numerous accounts of trauma myself, the hardest thing was watching my family being there but feeling helpless. My wife would often cry herself to sleep and I could not even rollover or communicate with her to comfort her. This also really does have an effect on recovery as you really want to for their sake but the worry for them only adds stress/anxiety to the trauma. I have numerous stories regarding and more than willing to share should you be interested.

Jaih Childhood trauma impacting as adult
  • replies: 4

Hello... How do you even start? How do you possible write about your trauma when you cant even think about it properly? I was abused as a child. By someone close to me. It took me 3 years to tell someone. I was embarrassed. How do you talk about that... View more

Hello... How do you even start? How do you possible write about your trauma when you cant even think about it properly? I was abused as a child. By someone close to me. It took me 3 years to tell someone. I was embarrassed. How do you talk about that? I told my mother. She didn't help me. I told my aunt. She didn't help me. I told my dad. He didn't help me. My adolescent years were difficult. My mum describes me as being nasty during those times. I didn't care at the time. Why would I? No one cared about me.. nothing happened after I told the people who were supposed to protect me. Years later here I am. Horrible anxiety, fears, manic depression, bad eatting habbits.. all because of those times. I'm tired. I'm tired all the time. I am happy, I have many things to love but have sadness. When does it go away? I used to smoke but I quit. I always think about smoking. I used to drink but I don't anymore. I want to drink all the time. Sometimes I cry. Not for any reasons.. well I mean there is reasons but I'm usually okay in the moment. Sometimes I can't breathe. Sometimes I don't want anyone near me. I have to be alone because talking is to hard. I cannot stand loud noise. I would rather watch the TV with subtitles because the sound is too much. I can't talk to more than 3 people at once. It's too much. My job is hard. I work for Child Protection. I have to protect the children. It's how I give back what was taken from me. How long does this last? When does it feel okay? I don't love myself. I'm discusgting. I don't have any will power. I lose it after I try something once and then it's to hard. Self care? What's that...

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