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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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ElectricBlue Narcissistic parent/s
  • replies: 15

Hi all, so what has made me come here is a recent argument with my mum. This is the only real argument we've ever had and it's made me realise that she is a narcissist (my dad is possibly one too but right now I'm dealing with mum). My whole life I h... View more

Hi all, so what has made me come here is a recent argument with my mum. This is the only real argument we've ever had and it's made me realise that she is a narcissist (my dad is possibly one too but right now I'm dealing with mum). My whole life I have just put up with her behaviour and have always seen it as just the way she is. It always seemed to hard to say anything negative about her behaviour because she'd make such a drama about it and it just didn't feel worth it. I have a 1 year old and am not going to put up with it all anymore for his sake. She goes against my wishes constantly and does the opposite of what she's been asked. This includes (but definitely isn't limited to) giving him food I've asked her not to give him, sharing photos of him with my brother who has a serious drug issue (I had no contact with him, hadn't told him I was pregnant and her explanation of why she did it without asking me was "you would've said no") and touching his head where his skull hasn't fused, even though I have asked her not to on multiple occasions. My childhood was quite unstable. My parents split twice. My mother attempted suicide twice (I don't believe she had any intention of it succeeding as she contacted people while doing it) and apart from all that it was just a very unstable environment centred around my parents and what they needed and were feeling. I finally got sick of it and sent her a list of things that she has done that are the opposite of what I asked. I also brought up things from my childhood and her response was basically that she disagrees with the things I've raised about my son so my concerns don't matter. In relation to my childhood her message was "I can't change the past. It sounds to me like you're resentful and angry about the part and only you can deal with that, just like I'm dealing with my past. There was no selfishness involved, it's much more complicated than that. I'm sorry you feel that way. I love you and wish you didn't have so much anger in you." She has never taken responsibility for anything in her life from big things like the attempted suicides in my childhood to the smallest things like spilling milk on the floor. If something doesn't fit her narrative then she just lies about it, even if you witnessed it. I know this is all part of her mental health issues but I'm really struggling with it as I know I can't get her to change or understand how I feel but it makes me so sad that she possibly won't be in my sons life.

Gify I can't remember what it's like to be happy
  • replies: 3

Everytime I think it's going ok something happens to cause stress. I cry a lot I get the courage and strength to move on then it gets ripped right out from under me.

Everytime I think it's going ok something happens to cause stress. I cry a lot I get the courage and strength to move on then it gets ripped right out from under me.

Bluekimba Help i need advice.
  • replies: 3

Hi as a result of a few people sexually assaulting me in my child and teen years i have developed this.Im now 42 and im at the point where i dont want to be touched at all.not even kissing or hugging.I told my partner when i was younger this would be... View more

Hi as a result of a few people sexually assaulting me in my child and teen years i have developed this.Im now 42 and im at the point where i dont want to be touched at all.not even kissing or hugging.I told my partner when i was younger this would be a life time issue and he excepted it.Tje issues is no its getting worst to the point of i dont want sex at all.I dont even want to be cuddled in bed.I told him if he cant live like this i would understand if he wanted to leave.I do feel bad for him.I get mad everytime he gives me any indercation he wants to.I dont know what i should do

Blufftuff loved ones suffering trauma with you.
  • replies: 3

Having numerous accounts of trauma myself, the hardest thing was watching my family being there but feeling helpless. My wife would often cry herself to sleep and I could not even rollover or communicate with her to comfort her. This also really does... View more

Having numerous accounts of trauma myself, the hardest thing was watching my family being there but feeling helpless. My wife would often cry herself to sleep and I could not even rollover or communicate with her to comfort her. This also really does have an effect on recovery as you really want to for their sake but the worry for them only adds stress/anxiety to the trauma. I have numerous stories regarding and more than willing to share should you be interested.

Jaih Childhood trauma impacting as adult
  • replies: 4

Hello... How do you even start? How do you possible write about your trauma when you cant even think about it properly? I was abused as a child. By someone close to me. It took me 3 years to tell someone. I was embarrassed. How do you talk about that... View more

Hello... How do you even start? How do you possible write about your trauma when you cant even think about it properly? I was abused as a child. By someone close to me. It took me 3 years to tell someone. I was embarrassed. How do you talk about that? I told my mother. She didn't help me. I told my aunt. She didn't help me. I told my dad. He didn't help me. My adolescent years were difficult. My mum describes me as being nasty during those times. I didn't care at the time. Why would I? No one cared about me.. nothing happened after I told the people who were supposed to protect me. Years later here I am. Horrible anxiety, fears, manic depression, bad eatting habbits.. all because of those times. I'm tired. I'm tired all the time. I am happy, I have many things to love but have sadness. When does it go away? I used to smoke but I quit. I always think about smoking. I used to drink but I don't anymore. I want to drink all the time. Sometimes I cry. Not for any reasons.. well I mean there is reasons but I'm usually okay in the moment. Sometimes I can't breathe. Sometimes I don't want anyone near me. I have to be alone because talking is to hard. I cannot stand loud noise. I would rather watch the TV with subtitles because the sound is too much. I can't talk to more than 3 people at once. It's too much. My job is hard. I work for Child Protection. I have to protect the children. It's how I give back what was taken from me. How long does this last? When does it feel okay? I don't love myself. I'm discusgting. I don't have any will power. I lose it after I try something once and then it's to hard. Self care? What's that...

JENJENJEN Child of Disfunction.
  • replies: 2

Many years ago i found my way in to ACA. I was in so much denial that i was reenacting my childhood traumas in my adult life. I made progress, but alas a year ago a move to a different state and work pressures i fell back into my same unhealthy patte... View more

Many years ago i found my way in to ACA. I was in so much denial that i was reenacting my childhood traumas in my adult life. I made progress, but alas a year ago a move to a different state and work pressures i fell back into my same unhealthy pattern of procrastination and self pity. I am now in full blown relapse and with the current state of affairs in the world feeling more isolated then ever. I see no clear path but i know i have to get help and most importantly support. With no way to connect with people in person i am taking a leap into the online world. Doing something is better than doing nothing right? Its daunting to be back at the beginning and the programmed defaults in me tell me to give up it too hard. But what I'm certain of is i need to stop waiting for something to change and actually be the change that i need in my own life. I know i am not alone in my feelings and that gives me some comfort. I would love to connect with people who may be feeling similars feelings. I am only alone if i allow myself to feel alone. .

Parsnip I am scared for my friend
  • replies: 2

So a few months ago I met my best friend's boyfriend. He's great and super sweet. they're great for each other and the three of us are going to be moving into a house together, (planned for July but now with the pandemic probably next year). My best ... View more

So a few months ago I met my best friend's boyfriend. He's great and super sweet. they're great for each other and the three of us are going to be moving into a house together, (planned for July but now with the pandemic probably next year). My best friend lives in student housing and hates sharing her room so stays with her boyfriend a lot. Slowly she started telling me a few things about him and his family. He has anxiety and depression. He used to burn his arms with cigarettes and i've seen his scars. He's also tried to kill himself. He lives with his dad and older sister. He makes out that his dad is pretty good and not as bad as his mum but i met his dad and he's really mean to him. always putting him down and making him feel awful. His sister is even worse. Iv'e always known that I didn't know the whole picture and that there was stuff that they weren't telling me and I knew that it was none of my business. But just tonight my best friend told me something really awful. He told her this pretty recently and said that he trusts me to know. His older sister used to repeatedly molest him for years. he still lives in the same house as her! Until now he couldn't afford to move out. He once told his dad while they were fighting then he ran away for a few days and when he came back it was never mentioned again. I just hate that he's living in that house and can't do anything about it. I'm having trouble processing it and don't really know what to do with this situation. I'm just scared for him.

Honeybeeninety It took me 26years to realize I was a victim and my mum was the abuser
  • replies: 2

I saw my dad hit my mum as a little girl and I heard the words she said. He died young, of an aneurism last year. Since he died my mum says the same word to me and 3 days ago she took it to a new level she was ontop of me taunting how about my dead d... View more

I saw my dad hit my mum as a little girl and I heard the words she said. He died young, of an aneurism last year. Since he died my mum says the same word to me and 3 days ago she took it to a new level she was ontop of me taunting how about my dead dad who I gave a hard time but I loved and saying I have no family or friends and many other things as she hit me. I cant go back home to her please give me words to encourage me to end this cycle by ending all contact with her . I know it's the rite thing but it's so hard.

Noj PTSD and Schizoaffective disorder
  • replies: 1

Tried so hard to work but each time I do I can’t manage anything else. I have ptsd and schizoaffective disorder. how is it I’m suppose to live a normal life? I can barley socialise. Been in pain on and off far to long.

Tried so hard to work but each time I do I can’t manage anything else. I have ptsd and schizoaffective disorder. how is it I’m suppose to live a normal life? I can barley socialise. Been in pain on and off far to long.

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