It took me 26years to realize I was a victim and my mum was the abuser

[Honeybeeninety]

I saw my dad hit my mum as a little girl and I heard the words she said. He died young, of an aneurism last year. Since he died my mum says the same word to me and 3 days ago she took it to a new level she was ontop of me taunting how about my dead dad who I gave a hard time but I loved and saying I have no family or friends and many other things as she hit me. I cant go back home to her please give me words to encourage me to end this cycle by ending all contact with her . I know it's the rite thing but it's so hard.

[Doolhof]

Hi Honeybeeninety,

It sounds like you have been through a tough time, having your Dad die young and experiencing this abuse from your Mum.

Do you live independent from your Mum? Is where you are living a safe place for you?

Do you feel as though you need to alert the police about your Mum's behaviour?

Would you consider phoning Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline for some advice?

No doubt your thoughts and emotions are all over the place.

You mentioned you gave your Dad a hard time yet you loved him. I am wondering if you would benefit from writing your Dad a letter. I know you can't give it to him, but you could read it out loud and then either keep it or rip it up.

Letting go of possible feelings of guilt, sadness and hurt can help.

Only you know if distancing yourself from your Mum either temporarily or permanently is the right thing for you to do. Keeping safe is important right now.

Wishing you all the best from Dools

[geoff]

Hello Honeybeeninty, I can't say how sorry I feel for you, but it wouldn't be advisable nor suggested going back to this toxic relationship where your mother has physically been hitting you, it's not the appropriate environment for you to stay in, considering the circumstances you've just mentioned.

What you can't do is believe that this won't happen again, your mother appears to need medical help and whether she needs to be admitted to hospital is for her doctor to determine.

Can you please let us know what position you're in and able to stay somewhere else.

Take care.

Geoff.