My struggle with PTSD

[B97]

Hi Beyond Blue community,

I would like to share my story and battle with PTSD.

I was a victim of domestic violence from my father, who suffered from bipolar disorder. After my mother and I escaped his abuse, I became her carer at the age of 13 as she battled a rare disease (AVM). This involved many traumatic events, including risky facial surgery, the smell of rotting flesh, bleeding from her mouth, and regular calls to triple zero. This horrible disease caused severe facial disfigurement as parts of her face had to be removed to eliminate the illness.

Fast-forward to the present, my mother and I have been targeted by neighbours in a smear and hate campaign aimed at forcing us to move. We have been threatened, our property damaged, and harassed daily. I’ve had to take out personal safety orders and call the police almost every day. Sometimes, I’m too afraid to leave my mother alone at home while I’m at work.

Unfortunately, this has been triggering my PTSD from the abuse I experienced in my childhood. It has affected my social interactions with work colleagues and others. I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and the overwhelming feeling of being stuck, as though nothing is improving.

My goal is to escape this nightmare and start fresh, to prioritise my self-care and provide my mum with a safe environment where we can live in peace and rebuild our lives.

I've had regular counselling and tried medication but until I escape this toxic neighbourhood I will never be free of this.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear B97,

I am so sorry about what you are having to deal with with the awful neighbours while taking care of your mother. It is really understandable you are struggling right now and having PTSD triggered.

I can clearly see from what you've described that getting out of the current neighbourhood would be really good for you and your mother. I am wondering if you are currently registered with NDIS? I had a look at their Home & Living section on their website and they do provide some kinds of support with regard to accommodation. I'm not sure whether that would encompass your situation or not and you would need to be registered with them. You could try phoning them and explain your situation and that you need to find a safer place for you and your mother to live. They may be able to at least make some suggestions and outline any services they do provide. Apologies if this is something you've already looked into.

I'm not sure if you are renting or the home is owned, but can you see a way to move elsewhere? I know the housing market, in both rental and sales, is harder than it's ever been. There are various advocacy organisations in different states who can sometimes act on your behalf. For example, in south-west WA there is Advocacy WA who provide support across a range of areas for people living with disability. There will most likely be one or more advocacy bodies in your region that may be able to provide similar advice and support. I also wonder if any carer's associations may have some ideas, even if housing is not the primary thing they deal with.

While my situation is minor by comparison, I have been dealing with some toxic bullying from two sets of neighbours in my unit complex over the past few months. I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up and rise above the toxic behaviours which have gone from more overt aggression to passive aggression over time. I've been working on maintaining my composure and even acknowledging them kindly if I see them despite what's been going on. I'm not sure this always works in some situations but I think it has somewhat de-escalated the intensity of their behaviours. It's kind of made it harder for them to get at me. I have Complex PTSD so I too get triggered by bullying behaviours in the present. I think knowing you are a good person who has done nothing wrong and giving yourself as much self-care as you can is so important.

I hope that maybe there is a way you can carve out some time for yourself amidst your care responsibilities, work and dealing with neighbours. Is there anything that brings you peace such as meditative quiet time for yourself or a hobby you enjoy, however brief that might be with everything else that's going on?

Remember there are helplines too and it can be really good to reach out and just talk to someone if it all feels too much. We are here to chat whenever you feel the need.

Take good care,

Eagle Ray