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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Franzi Unhappy
  • replies: 3

Hi there, i recently moved back to an outback town and feel really unhappy and lonely here. I have no choice because I need to get my permanent residency through a sponsorship. Just going through a break up with a toxic person too . I have a lot of t... View more

Hi there, i recently moved back to an outback town and feel really unhappy and lonely here. I have no choice because I need to get my permanent residency through a sponsorship. Just going through a break up with a toxic person too . I have a lot of trauma in my childhood and just feeling extremely unhappy. Not sure how to change it at this point.. I’m feeling very stuck, depressed and lonely

divine_inner_goddess i don't have a feeling of safety - complex ptsd and dissociation
  • replies: 97

**slight trigger warning - I mention the word abuse** Hello out there, I have been posting on other discussion threads but I haven't created my own post until now.... I am realising lately that I can't feel a sense of safety in my body. I can recall ... View more

**slight trigger warning - I mention the word abuse** Hello out there, I have been posting on other discussion threads but I haven't created my own post until now.... I am realising lately that I can't feel a sense of safety in my body. I can recall times when I have felt safe, for example lying under my weighted blanket, or cuddling with my partner. But, I can't FEEL the safety in my body when I think about those memories. It is as if my body simply does not retain a memory of that felt experience. However, I can feel terror, rage, helplessness, numbness, intense shame etc when I remember awful things from my past and I very much feel it in my body. I can feel good stuff in the moment as a vague sensation, but I can't retain the memory of it in my body. Does that make sense? I am learning more and more about dissociation at the moment, and I'm realising that I have experienced chronic dissociation (disconnection from my body sensations) to varying degrees since a child. I was never taught as a child what it meant to feel safe and held and nurtured. My childhood was chaotic, dysfunctional and very abusive, physically & emotionally. Thus, the diagnosis of complex PTSD. I am now in my late 40s and the impact of that early trauma is becoming more and more apparent. I realised this when I called the suicide call back service a few weeks ago and the lady kept saying to imagine a time when I felt safe, or to do something that made me feel safe and to keep doing that until I felt safe in my body. I drew a blank - she might as well have been speaking a different language!! It was a revelation to me! I thought that safety was something you created externally, such as, interacting with people you trust, places that feel comfortable in, and activities that feel nice and not too stressful. I never knew that safety was something you could feel INSIDE your body!! I am slowly learning....... I would love to hear from others with a similar experience. But, also from those who can describe what safety feels like. Thank you, dig

gremz domestic violence against men
  • replies: 40

I am currently studying community welfare and began the subject Domestic Family Violence. Although many men do experience abuse from their partners, this is not recognized in my course. When I asked the teacher about it, she reported to me that men b... View more

I am currently studying community welfare and began the subject Domestic Family Violence. Although many men do experience abuse from their partners, this is not recognized in my course. When I asked the teacher about it, she reported to me that men being abused by women would and should be treated differently and receive less support. Its been a long hard battle for females to gain rights so we should be treated better than males? I don't think this is the "equality" I visioned as a female. Anyone else find it not quite right? Shouldn't violence (especially in a family) and abuse against ANYONE be wrong?

Cmb80 Womb trauma
  • replies: 6

Hi, just wondering if there is anyone out there who has suffered womb trauma whilst you were in the womb? When my mum was pregnant with me, she lost her mother (5mths pregnant) and then lost her husband, my dad (7mths pregnant). I feel like i went th... View more

Hi, just wondering if there is anyone out there who has suffered womb trauma whilst you were in the womb? When my mum was pregnant with me, she lost her mother (5mths pregnant) and then lost her husband, my dad (7mths pregnant). I feel like i went through every emotion with her. That i felt all the stress and grief and loss that my mum suffered. My biggest fear now is losing my partner. And i feel like i am pushing her away because i dont deserve to be loved. The trauma i experienced in the womb and growing up without my dad had had disastrous effects on my life! I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am constantly worried about losing my partner. I have this unexplainable sad feeling deep within me which affects me daily. I am trying so hard to improve but i feel stuck in the negative cycle that im on. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Please help!!!!

LouiseV What's a normal trauma response?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I went through trauma for over 10 years that was damaging. I am working through it all with a therapist and wanted to know how people feel between trauma therapy appointments and what's normal. I often get flashbacks, feel withdrawn, want to isol... View more

Hi, I went through trauma for over 10 years that was damaging. I am working through it all with a therapist and wanted to know how people feel between trauma therapy appointments and what's normal. I often get flashbacks, feel withdrawn, want to isolate and go quiet. I normally love to talk but lately I don't have much to say. Is this normal? Some days I can feel really low, especially after a therapy appointment. And I try my best to get through them also. This is all new to me so looking to for some reassurance from others who have been there or are there. Thanjs

iammental (TW SA) I'm not quite sure if I have been sexually assaulted or not.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm not completely sure on how this works but I wanted some people's perspective on this if anyone happens to see it. I have just recently found out that someone I considered to be my best friend at the time has had sex with me and I don't rememb... View more

Hi, I'm not completely sure on how this works but I wanted some people's perspective on this if anyone happens to see it. I have just recently found out that someone I considered to be my best friend at the time has had sex with me and I don't remember any of it. She is a big smoker and I am not to the point where I had a seizure due to it, which I think may have been the night it happened through process of elimination. I've never felt more disgusted in my own skin before, not knowing exactly what she did to me nor a definite date it happened makes me feel so horrible. It happened whilst being in a relationship so I can't help but fear that I'm just a horrible person who can't accept that It's my fault so I'm blaming something else instead. I dunno, I feel absolutely mental so please help.

sparrowhawk I can finally feel
  • replies: 4

I’ve been through sustained emotional abuse (the perpetrators were members of a religious community). I left the community with an eating disorder and as I was unwell and starving I just didn’t have any sort of capacity to feel. I was numb to everyth... View more

I’ve been through sustained emotional abuse (the perpetrators were members of a religious community). I left the community with an eating disorder and as I was unwell and starving I just didn’t have any sort of capacity to feel. I was numb to everything. As I started recovering I began experiencing more triggers, flashbacks and moments of panic. I am seeking help but my psychologist is quite repetitive and we tend to talk about the same things each time. My symptoms are become more frequent and while I’m grateful I can feel (as that means I can process), I’m anxious about the impact it will have on my partner. They encourage me to talk but I hate always bringing up the same issues with them, and just can’t shake that feeling that I am an inconvenience.

wint Struggling in new areas, Job distress
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I like to share a little bit about the struggles I've been going through. I am 19, an international student and I arrived here 4 months ago. I came here alone, I left my most of my family back in my country. For the last... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I like to share a little bit about the struggles I've been going through. I am 19, an international student and I arrived here 4 months ago. I came here alone, I left my most of my family back in my country. For the last two months, I noticed that I have been distressed and feel unsatisfied with my ability in speaking and listening. I used to work as an front of house staff at a restaurant for the last two months and In work, I was socially secluded by my coworkers and got always picked up by my boss. I was the only Asian working there. I found sometimes that they have been giving me responsibilities and work they don't want to take care of and mocking me behind my back which was only a side note. Every time my shift ended, my boss called and told me that I was not good enough to do this job and only after that did he let me go home. After working there for one month, I became so discouraged to the point that I feel reluctant to speak and deal with the customer. I lost my commitment and dedication to working there as well as my studies. I have developed a mindset of not being good enough to do or achieve anything and I feel that there is something important skill or necessary capacity lacking in me to be able to work effectively. This anxiety and stress become worse day by day. I also became less engaged in my uni lectures and my friends conversation. I lost my strong concentration in studying and i now tend to procrastinate a lot. I am also disheartened with myself as I have always perceived of myself as a very cheerful, competent and outgoing person.

David35 Delayed grief
  • replies: 7

I thought I had got over my father's death which occurred almost 7 years ago. Anyway, I've been trying to get mum out lately and last Friday we went to a pub which dad, mum and I used to frequent for many years before his passing. The whole time ther... View more

I thought I had got over my father's death which occurred almost 7 years ago. Anyway, I've been trying to get mum out lately and last Friday we went to a pub which dad, mum and I used to frequent for many years before his passing. The whole time there I panicked. The next day I've been in a state of panic almost all day. I think it's because we had so many good memories at this particular pub and the realisation now is that those memories were largely because dad was either in our company, or alive at the time (mum and I used to go there during his chemo because he couldn't taste anything). Has anyone else experienced this? Is it something that passes? I think we'll avoid this pub from now on because my heart keeps telling me that dad should be there, but my brain knows he's not. This inner conflict is driving me nuts and ultimately it just reinforces my grief.

i_harrold Homophobic and stereotypical dad
  • replies: 4

I have lots of problems with my dad. He is homophobic to others and it makes me want to cry. Atthe dinner table he said to my 8yr old brother “air hostesses are only for girls and gay men” that made me cry. I’m not apart of the LGBTQIA+ community but... View more

I have lots of problems with my dad. He is homophobic to others and it makes me want to cry. Atthe dinner table he said to my 8yr old brother “air hostesses are only for girls and gay men” that made me cry. I’m not apart of the LGBTQIA+ community but i do support it and have no problems with it but my dad is so arrogant about it and he doesn’t know how much his word affect me. I opened up to him and mentioned therapy for me and he said “why would you need therapy, that’s for weak people, when i was a teenager i went through all the same stuff and i didn’t need any therapy” It made me want to cry, the fact that my own dad is against therapy. That’s why i’m reaching out on here. I’m scared to talk to my mum because i feel she will turn on him and then it will create big fights and maybe even divorce. Idk what to do?