Domestic Violence

[Kez77]

So it all just came to a end my fiancée had anoth psychotic episode on Sunday night came home was angry he walked away and chilled and then made me my favourite dinner fish and prawns which was weird for never cooks and brought to me and was so loving and sweet the man I feel in love with. 
then he went and had shower and went and watched tv and then came into our room raging and smashing everything up and put he hands on me.  He then walked away and called the police saying I assaulted him when he knows he already has a DVO and I think was his breaking out to protect me for knew they would arrest him and knows I video everything when has his episodes. He has had a change in his medication over a year ago for doctor lost license and since they changed it has been having these episodes and is total different person I don’t even recognise anymore.  I have kept trying all I can to get him to get help and we can go together to a new doctor and or a clinic for financially I could support us just wanted him back to the man I feel I love with but he thought he could fix himself and still it kept happening ..  and I kept blaming the meds and kept trying to help .. so the police came took him away and I just kept telling them I don’t want him in jail just needs to get medication in rehab sorted.. they then called a family member of mine and they had to take me to the station and i had to make a report of that night then they saw more photos and videos from last 14 months and now has many chargers against him.  The house he brought 8 months before I meet him and when I moved in 3 and half years ago we payed double mortgage and everything to get ahead 1 payed mortgage other put the same to the offset savings.  We never changed into joint names for didn’t want to loose the low fixed rate we had which would run out this June and then would change. So now I have no access to any money or anything and they weren’t sure how long the court would hold him so I moved within 48hours and out all in storage and staying on a mattress in a family member’s place for have no money for a bond or anything.  And for the account is all in his name can’t afford therapy even though they say 10 free sessions through mental health plan they aren’t free anymore. And to get a lawyer isn’t cheap either and doing all takes along time for legal aid and all also..  I am so lost and all can think of is the amazing life we had planned we renovated our house and we were so happy and now in a blink my whole life is up in smoke and my head is spinning like I am in a movie..  Am so worried about him in jail and of course I can’t have any contact and am just so lost and having a really bad day don’t know how my life came to this. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Kez77, 

We’re sorry to hear what you’ve been going through with your relationship and the really difficult living situation. It sounds like it’s had some very serious impacts on your wellbeing. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you. 

We wanted to provide some resources that will be able to provide some assistance, it might be worth having a look at the 1800Respect pages on healthy relationships. We can hear that you feel quite trapped with difficulty accessing money and finding accomodation, they will be able to provide referrals and advice regarding finances, accommodation and legal services if required. It sounds like it could be useful to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect to discuss how you’ve been treated by your partner. They're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat, here.  You could also speak to Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.  
 
It sounds like it's really having an impact on how you're feeling day to day, so please know that there’s always someone here for you to talk it through with. The Beyond Blue counsellors are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or online. It's really important to be kind to yourself through this, so there's some tips for practicing self-care here. Please know that you deserve to be treated with respect and to feel safe, if you ever feel unsafe the number is 000.

Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members once they spot your thread. We appreciate your kindness and openness in sharing to the forums, and we hope you can be kind to yourself, too while you’re going through this extremely difficult time.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M