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PTSD and trauma

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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WolfGirl89 Repressed memories, sexual assault and confusion
  • replies: 5

When I was 18, a man 20 years older than me coerced me into a relationship. He was a family friend and I worked for him. I told myself it was what I wanted, that I said yes, that it was my choice, my responsibility. I told myself that it wasn’t that ... View more

When I was 18, a man 20 years older than me coerced me into a relationship. He was a family friend and I worked for him. I told myself it was what I wanted, that I said yes, that it was my choice, my responsibility. I told myself that it wasn’t that bad because he never hit me. I told myself that even if it was bad, I deserved it because I was a terrible person/partner/mother. I felt no attachment to my child but I took her and left anyway because nothing changed and I couldn’t take the constant barrage of lectures, insults, questioning, interrogating, accusations, gaslighting. I felt crazy. I left and told myself it wasn’t bad and that it didn’t affect me at all. Well, nobody would be surprised to hear it affected me. It affected me so badly that the older I got the angrier I became, but I had no idea why I was angry. Or why I felt broken, hopeless, trapped with no escape. I’ve been married for years to a wonderful man who lifts me up instead of tearing me down and I found myself screaming at him for the slightest thing. Then I started remembering where I learned that behaviour. I remembered how it felt. It almost broke me. So many things make sense now. My anger. My fear. My hurt. I’m so ashamed. I feel disgusting. I feel all of the feelings now that I didn’t feel then. I shut down to survive - I was numb for over a decade. Now it’s like it happened yesterday. I was sexually assaulted by this man, this predator. I was coerced and manipulated and guilt tripped and threatened until I gave in. I remember thinking no so many times when I felt like I had to say yes. I had to say yes to the sex, to him getting me pregnant, so that he would leave me alone. So that he would stop yelling at me, or giving me the cold shoulder, or taking my medication away. I had to do whatever I could to survive. For a long time when I looked in the mirror I didn’t recognise myself. Now I do but I see that scared 19 year old again - and while I’m getting a part of myself back it’s a part I don’t want. I don’t want her shame, her guilt, her fear. I felt it anyway but now I know what it is, it doesn’t help. I am still trapped, because this man is the father of my daughter, and she loves her dad. She’s a teenager now, not far off the age I was. I know I need to protect her but sometimes I feel as violated by her as I was by him. He ruined my life then and he’s still doing it now. I can’t even let my husband touch me because I feel so ashamed. I will never escape.

Nickname_B31140EA-784A-46D7-AB5F-9EECEF04266C Finding support
  • replies: 1

Last year I was receiving support for Complex PTSD resulting from childhood trauma. I had been seeing a Psychologist every 1-2 weeks for months. Leading up to Christmas they told me that they would contact me in the new year with availability. I thou... View more

Last year I was receiving support for Complex PTSD resulting from childhood trauma. I had been seeing a Psychologist every 1-2 weeks for months. Leading up to Christmas they told me that they would contact me in the new year with availability. I thought this a little odd as we had had recurring appointments however didn't question it at the time. I never heard from the Psychologist again. Given my condition largely stems from abandonment and neglect it has taken me a while to consider seeing someone else, and to be honest I'm still not sure I'm ready, but I'm at least at the point that I can ask for advice on how others have gone about finding support they can trust?

PamelaR PTSD triggers and stigma
  • replies: 79

Hi all There have been a couple of posts recently about negativity towards people who are triggered by events and go into a PTSD response which results in anxiety. I think there is a view out there by people who do not understand what Post Traumatic ... View more

Hi all There have been a couple of posts recently about negativity towards people who are triggered by events and go into a PTSD response which results in anxiety. I think there is a view out there by people who do not understand what Post Traumatic Stress that 'an industry is being promoted' by psychologists and others. How awful is that! The same can be said about a range of illness that have been diagnosed over the past 50 years or more. The scientific evidence and research that has happened in the past 50 years is so advanced that IMO people are afraid. IMO, it's much easier for people to live 'in ignorance' than to really look at what's happening in their environment. I truly believe PTSD falls in this category. It is so easy to say, it's 'all in your head'. Well, yeah, that maybe but that does not devalue what is happening for people. Nor does it mean that it's 'stupid', 'not real', 'not happening' etc. Yes, things do happen in your head, they can be good or not so good. That's why we have mental health plans. What I really want to debunk here is - that PTSD and it's triggers are STUPID. PTSD and triggers are real and have lasting effects both for the person who is experiencing them as do people who provide support to those people. You will find some talk about complex PTSD along with 'normal' PTSD. I'm not making any distinctions between the two, though from what I've read in the forums there is a difference. This thread is for people who get triggered and go into anxiety. Doesn't matter what the trigger is. Your triggers are real. They occur at times when you least expect them. No one else can say to you that you are stupid. Responses to triggers do happen. Triggers can: set off body responses, e.g. heart palpitations, sweating. be through sight, smell, sound, touch, feelings bring back memories of trauma cause intense physical and emotional reactions cause muscle tension. Would love to hear what others think. Please have your say. My words are only from my experience. What is your experience? Kind regards PamelaR

Reggie123 PTSD
  • replies: 6

Trigger warning! ok, my story is hard to hear and really hard to move on from! last March I was walking my dog, as I do every morning. At 5:15 am, so pretty dark. I was walking through my basement and near my car I found a man was attempting to take ... View more

Trigger warning! ok, my story is hard to hear and really hard to move on from! last March I was walking my dog, as I do every morning. At 5:15 am, so pretty dark. I was walking through my basement and near my car I found a man was attempting to take his own life. I screamed for help, another man turn up and we tried to help him. We called 000 and we performed CPR. Once the ambulance turned up they took over. As this was happening his wife walked up. The ambo and cops were horrible to her!! I sat with her and held her as her husband was pronounced dead. I can no longer go in dark areas or undercover car parks. I’m constantly feeling like something bad is going to happen. the panic attacks don’t happen as often, but the mood swings do.

Yeah_ Anxiety, depression, ptsd, eating disorder
  • replies: 5

I have depression and anxiety. I also think I have ptsd and an eating disorder(undiagnosed) I know I need help but my anxiety stops me from getting help. I'm just so lost at what to do. i specifically have social anxiety so talking about this is very... View more

I have depression and anxiety. I also think I have ptsd and an eating disorder(undiagnosed) I know I need help but my anxiety stops me from getting help. I'm just so lost at what to do. i specifically have social anxiety so talking about this is very hard for me. even just writing this on here makes me very uncomfortable. the depression I’ve had ever since my son was born and I’m on medication for it but it doesn’t help all that much. I think I have ptsd from when my mother passed when I was 20 (I’m now 26) and I know I have Binge eating disorder but I’m so embarrassed about it that I have never asked for help with it what can I do?

Patches63 Repressed memories
  • replies: 2

I am waiting to discuss this with my therapist but wondering if anyone has experienced similar or has any possibly thoughts/insights.in my mid 40’s through talk therapy I became aware that I had held a subconscious grudge against my paternal grandfat... View more

I am waiting to discuss this with my therapist but wondering if anyone has experienced similar or has any possibly thoughts/insights.in my mid 40’s through talk therapy I became aware that I had held a subconscious grudge against my paternal grandfather from when I was 9yo and blamed him for his youngest son committing suicide.as part of writing a journal I’ve become aware my visual memories and flashbacks are semi distorted regsrding the suicide and do not align with memories I have of things said at the time and in following couple of weeks. I never spent any time alone with my paternal grandfather and therefore do not believe he abused me. I was approx 12yo when he died.what I don’t understand is, not including day of my uncles death, I only have 2 memories of my grandfather which are both fun, happy memories. I have vague, sketchy memories of helping my parents get his house ready for sale after he died.Any thoughts or similar experiences? Could the repressed memories be possibly some how linked to the subconscious grudge I held for decades? Patches

Pearllizie What is the recovery time after sexual and emotional abuse?
  • replies: 5

After being sexually abused by my father for ten years, I was then sexually and emotionally abused by my husband for 18 years. Currently, I am receiving therapy and my husband is not having sex with me (to allow me to heal). Unfortunately, my husband... View more

After being sexually abused by my father for ten years, I was then sexually and emotionally abused by my husband for 18 years. Currently, I am receiving therapy and my husband is not having sex with me (to allow me to heal). Unfortunately, my husband isn't patient and wants me to give him a timeline of when I'm ready to have sex again. He's tired of waiting and I'm supposed to tell him what to do in the meantime.I told him I'm working on it in the sessions. Having been abused for more than half my life, it will take time to heal. I've suffered much worse abuse from him than I did from my father. I need time. I only see my therapist every two weeks, and I have only seen her four times so far.Not only do we need to deal with sexual abuse, but also with emotional abuse. I explained to him that I cannot give him a timeline at this point, but he insisted that I give him one and he kept asking me what he was supposed to do for sex in the meantime.My patience with him ran out and I told him he was now reaping what he had sown. We would not have been in this situation if he hadn't treated me in such a manner and didn't force me to do things I didn't want to do. Now he is feeling upset and angry about something he caused. His actions have caused me to need therapy.He was very upset and I don't know what to say or do. I would appreciate any advice.Update:Almost a day had passed since he spoke to me last. His first action when he saw me was to take money out of his pocket and ask if he could buy me. He would pay me to have sex with him. It made me upset since this is what you do for a prostitute, and I told him he made me feel that way. However, he sees nothing wrong with that suggestion. I don't know how to get through to him.

Megs14 Impending heart surgery worry
  • replies: 7

My husband has recently found out during routine medical check that he may need possible heart valve replacement surgery. He is only 38, we have been together for nearly 20 years, we have one son who is 9. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, growing ... View more

My husband has recently found out during routine medical check that he may need possible heart valve replacement surgery. He is only 38, we have been together for nearly 20 years, we have one son who is 9. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, growing up with a narcissistic parent. I struggle with death, anything new, especially medical issues. I am beyond petrified that something will happen to him during surgery and worried he will change afterwards. I know this is all natural worrying about what may or may not happen, but it’s really hard to comprehend right now. We will find out next Friday what will need to be done, this coincides with my birthday, which is already hard given my history. I’m trying to be strong and doing as much research as I can to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. I don’t want to scare myself but I feel like if I educate myself it won’t come as much of a shock when we do get told the news if he has to go through with surgery soon.I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or is there anywhere I can turn to you to get advice?I know we will both probably need counselling, although I’m already seeing a psychologist and have been for quite some time.I want to be able to help him and we do have support from his family, but the worry of not knowing what’s going to happen really does make it difficult. We have had to put a lot of things on hold and a lot of plans have changed but I know in the Longrun, this is the right decision as I wouldn’t want something to happen to him in down the track, this is preventative and I know we are doing the right thing. Any advice would be appreciated.

Moose17 Are the Grow anxiety support groups helpful?
  • replies: 2

I’m in therapy for complex trauma, but I’m looking to start attending a support group because I have no support system outside of therapy. I attended one of The WayAhead support groups a couple of months ago, but they don’t hold those meetings near w... View more

I’m in therapy for complex trauma, but I’m looking to start attending a support group because I have no support system outside of therapy. I attended one of The WayAhead support groups a couple of months ago, but they don’t hold those meetings near where I live so I haven’t been back. Grow Australia offers a 12-step support group type thing near my place, so I was wondering if that might be more viable, but I’m wondering if others have found this helpful? Because of my trauma background, I’m very wary of socialising with others and I’m so scared of trying something like this and having it backfire. If you have any experience or advice about attending this support group (or any others) please do share if you can.

laureah21 Sleeping away from home questions
  • replies: 4

Hi all,recently I was at a hotel with my husband and felt a sense of panic. Like I was trapped in my room and needed to leave. Had this on a plane once to. This fear of being away from home at night is growing is this a form of agoraphobia? I didn’t ... View more

Hi all,recently I was at a hotel with my husband and felt a sense of panic. Like I was trapped in my room and needed to leave. Had this on a plane once to. This fear of being away from home at night is growing is this a form of agoraphobia? I didn’t allow myself to leave as hubby was unwell and asleep and we were far from home so had a bath instead and had a talk with myself. I have started to inspect my anxieties and fears and find it useful to be my own therapist a bit to hold them up. I’ve realised not everything I feel is truth so like to have a look at it first. This fear seems to be growing worse as I get older and is entirely physical symptoms. A feeling of sadness, a trapped feeling, panic symptoms. Started in late 20s. A feeling of having to be very vigilant away fromhome. Not sleeping well at all unless things are just right. No sound and no light is what I need . Don’t go on holidays and don’t enjoy them only for this reason. I’d love to otherwise. It’s The sleeping, once I’m asleep I’m ok. I can’t do meds either as have a paradoxical reaction to most mental health meds (Valium makes me want to fight people antidepressants suicidal etc ) apart from this imwell and happy so don’t need meds. It’s the leaving the house that’s hard. Now even late afternoon I have to push myself in winter. I get tired and then mentally can’t deal with itehich I think it’s around vigilence as I was thinking about the whys, my early 20s came to mind. Twice in my 20s two individual men have broken into my room in different places while I was sleeping, once in student accomodation as they had keys to my room and the other in a house share a man sharing a cab home with a housemate both had taken advantage of me while I was asleep. Turning the lights on is what woke me in one incident and noise of someone in the room in the other.which imthinking is the link with need for darkness and quiet to sleep.I’ve never considered it as a reason for my symptoms as for some trasonfont really rember it apart from it seemed better and safer to go along with the intrusion then fight so it wasn’t violent, but I did feel violated after. Just tried to brush it off and now a bit forgotten. do you think this could be the cause of my bodies physicalreaction to being away fromhome at night? should I speak to someone about it? does anyone else have trouble with this and what has helped. thanks