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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Shawtyreckless_ Family trauma and loss
  • replies: 4

I grew up in a really conservative home. I never saw my parent's show any form of affection with each other. Im only now realizing the impact it's having on my relationships. I remember the first fight I witnessed between my parents. I saw how horrib... View more

I grew up in a really conservative home. I never saw my parent's show any form of affection with each other. Im only now realizing the impact it's having on my relationships. I remember the first fight I witnessed between my parents. I saw how horribly my father would treat my mother. He didn't respect her, he didn't care about how his actions hurt her, and us as kids. As a kid I was oblivious to their fall outs. I would see some things, my mum crying and praying in her room. My dad not coming home until very late and sleeping in the garage. I'm now 17 years old and Im only now seeing the damage it's having on me. I'm getting flashbacks of trauma I experienced at age 5, and all the fights they've had. I resent my father now because, he was someone I looked up to from when I was reeeaally young. Like he was a superhero to me. He took care of the family. He worked all night making sure we were fed and had somewhere to sleep. But I just feel like it was all meningless knowing that he didn't want us. It was really easy for him to walk out and start a new life without us and I'm bottling up my true feelings because I have young siblings who have no clue what's going on right now. My cousin says I'm strong. But I don't believe it. I don't. It took 2 years for me to move on from my uncle's death, and now I'm dealing with the void from my father leaving with no explanation. I just think I'm the unluckiest human alive. But what hurts and scares me the most is that, after everything that's my father's done to my mother, the cheating, lying, sneakiness... I know she would take him back in a heartbeat even when it's draining for us too.

P12 Long Term Trauma
  • replies: 6

I received a recommendation to start a new discussion when my main discussion has apparently not initiated discussion with other than one other member over the past few months. I would like to ask whether anyone may share their experience overcoming ... View more

I received a recommendation to start a new discussion when my main discussion has apparently not initiated discussion with other than one other member over the past few months. I would like to ask whether anyone may share their experience overcoming long term trauma? My experience is that the prevailing strategy is to assume that long term trauma exists because the individual holds an incorrect belief. Therefore the solution is to correct the belief. However, I found it almost impossible to change a belief that is validated by stronger evidence than that which is suggesting an alternative belief. Thank you.

mmMekitty Poems by mmMekitty *TW*
  • replies: 21

Hello everyone, I’ve written poems with content which some people may find distressing to read. I write to express thoughts & feelings. Sometimes these are vivid. I welcome any response from anyone, whether comments or with poetry of your own. * Paci... View more

Hello everyone, I’ve written poems with content which some people may find distressing to read. I write to express thoughts & feelings. Sometimes these are vivid. I welcome any response from anyone, whether comments or with poetry of your own. * Pacific Shore Thinking too much. Now I'm in pain, All those memories come up again, Who can stop the memories, put them out? Who hears my whimpering effort to shout? "Go away! Get off of me! You're not the brother I want you to be!" I can understand, but Mommy, I can't ignore - you weren't there for me. Money can’t replace your protection. No money makes up for a lack of affection. Casting your ashes off a Pacific shore Won't bring us together, no, no more. [April 2022] * Shipwreck A shipwreck, Tossed about at sea, splintered boards, Rubbish & debris, A broken heart, A shattered me. [April 2022] mmMekitty

Echtis What is this?
  • replies: 2

The more I think about the things that happened, the more afraid I feel. Some of it I can deal with, some of it results in confusion as well as fear. I had an accident a few months ago that nearly killed me. It left me with bad injuries that I still ... View more

The more I think about the things that happened, the more afraid I feel. Some of it I can deal with, some of it results in confusion as well as fear. I had an accident a few months ago that nearly killed me. It left me with bad injuries that I still haven't recovered from. My spine was compressed so badly I have permanently lost some height. I should mention that I was diagnosed with PTSD before this, nearly two years prior regarding seperate childhood events. Initially, I didn't think I had trauma around the new event. But now I suspect I do. It has become a source of guilt, anxiety and resentment. Before the accident, I had this excited, semi-nervous thrill for what was ahead. I was going to do something challenging, but possible. Now, I get afraid walking up a flight of steps with a backpack on. I can't carry things up staircases either, I have to walk sideways with my back to the rail and both hands gripped to it, with whatever it is slung over my shoulders in a bag. I used to rock climb with friends, but now the idea of it even fills me with that same, excited nervousness I described before. I used to want to go skydiving, but now the idea makes me feel scared just writing it. I'm sure I've developed a new fear of heights. It doesn't make sense, as the stuff on the staircase only vaguely resembles the incident. I know my body can't tell the difference, but I know as time goes on I'll learn of even more things I am irrationally afraid of, just like I did with everything before it. I feel sick and weak. I don't think I have many triggers, but this new one is so absurd, it seems laughable. "Oh, I'm afraid of stairs." To be fair, when I think about it my other triggers and fears are pretty comedic too. But then I remember that this is a sign of something very fundamentally broken in my brain and it makes me rather sad.

GrowingSlowly PTSD and requested for Info from potential employer
  • replies: 3

Hi, im looking to see if anyone can offer any advice. I have recently gone through a second round of applications for a job I’ve wanted for a long time. Long story short, preeployment medical was perfect except for my PTSD. They requested further inf... View more

Hi, im looking to see if anyone can offer any advice. I have recently gone through a second round of applications for a job I’ve wanted for a long time. Long story short, preeployment medical was perfect except for my PTSD. They requested further info from my GP on whether she would see my fit for duty, she has signed off as we have had this controlled for 6 months on meds. they have now sent me a new request for even more INFO! They want to know when PTSD was diagnosed (fine) but they want to know WHY I have PTSD!!! Long story short, my stepfather raped me for 6 years and got me pregnant, a constant legal battle to put him away and a termination in another state. It is now 10 years later and as explained, the employer has been made aware by my GP that I am cleared. How do I go about this? They want this info to come from my doctor too. Not from me?! they also requested as to how long I’ve been on medication which the previous medical report already states? is this ok for them to ask me why I have this condition? Is it relevant when my doctor has said in her medical opinion that she knows this condition would not affect my ability to work as a rail safety worker? I need some serious clarification? it’s seriously overwhelming when they want to dive so deep into all the reasoning behind this condition.

Echtis Unbelievable Rage
  • replies: 1

Hello. I'll start this off by stating that I have no intent to harm myself or others. This is me just expressing myself. I don't really have anyone to tell this stuff to aside from my psych. For some reason, I snap to the, arguably true idea that I d... View more

Hello. I'll start this off by stating that I have no intent to harm myself or others. This is me just expressing myself. I don't really have anyone to tell this stuff to aside from my psych. For some reason, I snap to the, arguably true idea that I didn't deserve what happened to me. It is an idea that makes me furious. I never asked for this, I never wanted this, and I certainly never wanted to be the person I am now. When I see people being mistreated that anger rises up inside of me again. I want to scream and shout at the person who is acting inhumanely and without empathy. I want to physically injure them, or tell them honestly what I think of them, which is that they would be better off not existing. Instead, I don't do anything, say anything, I'm frozen, as I'm afraid if I do anything reasonable like telling them to leave the person alone, I will let everything out. I am afraid if I confront them, and they touch me, I will snap and attack them or do anything else that I can think of in that moment. But no. I do nothing, and watch another person get bullied or abused by a stranger or an SO or a friend. The guilt hurts almost as much as the rage. That I did nothing, that I let another person treat someone that way when I could have stopped it. Then I remember what I think, that I want to hurt these people in my anger, and I remember how utterly emotionally broken I am. It all just culminates. I don't know what to do with my rage. I am tired of being a victim and watching perpetrators do their thing, ruining more lives action at a time. It is so bad that I cannot do anything except sit down and try not to explode. Anger management doesn't work. The second I acknowledge its existence it consumes me along with grief and I have to try not to break something. I don't know how to deal with this. Sorry if I repeated myself. I just don't know what to do anymore.

TJR nightmares and panic attacks
  • replies: 10

hey, i suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. last night I had a nightmare and while i was asleep i had a panic attack. this nightmare felt so real, i had to force myself to wake up just because of the panic attack i was having while asleep, i am ... View more

hey, i suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. last night I had a nightmare and while i was asleep i had a panic attack. this nightmare felt so real, i had to force myself to wake up just because of the panic attack i was having while asleep, i am pretty sure i was also shaking a little but i can't quite remember? is this something i should bring up to my psychologist? i am pretty terrified to go back to sleep in case it happens again.

cady2015 Career change
  • replies: 2

Hi all.I hope you’re reading this and feeling well.I work in an intense industry (mental health). Intense for me, anyway. I consider myself a highly sensitive person. I live with PTSD and anxiety is prominent. I have struggled somewhat for years. Alw... View more

Hi all.I hope you’re reading this and feeling well.I work in an intense industry (mental health). Intense for me, anyway. I consider myself a highly sensitive person. I live with PTSD and anxiety is prominent. I have struggled somewhat for years. Always get told I’m burnt-out but not quite meeting the criteria because I’m still meeting all my job requirements. I get told I’m doing “too well” to be considered burnt-out. Or that I’m thriving under pressure. But internally, I feel like I’m crumbling. The Sunday Scaries are getting really intense. I am really stressed getting ready for my day. And really drained at the end. I do “do well”, as they say. No one would ever, ever know.I am also a creative and recently got offered a work from home role in this area. Completely out of the blue. Certainly not as “rewarding” and definitely not what I went to uni for.But I’m starting to think that living with PTSD, working in an intense role and juggling other responsibilities is a bit much. My employer is super, super supportive.My issue is that because they are so supportive, I feel like I’m letting them down. I also compare myself to others. They can do it. Why can’t I? I feel like I’m running away. All my mental health training is screaming “this is avoidance!” And yet, if a client came to me with this predicament, I’d support them to explore that it’s okay to slow down.I know the grass isn’t always greener. But working from home sounds idyllic. I’m a very motivated person. I do feel I’d need to make an effort to work from coffee shops on occasion and network for that sense of community. But I can set my own hours, work around my kids, wear my pyjamas as needed.I feel like I’m failing. I am so jealous of people who can do “all the things” without feeling like they need to cry every day from the stress. I have some great friends who are giving a few mixed opinions. Some say I should go for it. Others say it’s a waste of a HECS debt and everything I’ve worked hard for.Has anyone else changed careers as a result of their mental health? I’d love to hear all about it.Thanks in advance.

Rupes79 EMDR Therapy
  • replies: 2

Hi All, Has anyone undergone EMDR therapy and if so can you share your experience? My psychologist has recommended I undertake a course and has said you don’t have to talk about the issues with the therapist. I don’t quite understand what she means i... View more

Hi All, Has anyone undergone EMDR therapy and if so can you share your experience? My psychologist has recommended I undertake a course and has said you don’t have to talk about the issues with the therapist. I don’t quite understand what she means is would be keen to hear some experiences of others. thanks

Mum Chris Moving on but feeling vulnerable
  • replies: 61

Hi, I am getting past my last big attack of ptsd and I’m not backed up into a corner emotionally and figuratively as I was before. I’m expressing myself better and wanting more out of life again. So all positive signs and took a lot of work too. But ... View more

Hi, I am getting past my last big attack of ptsd and I’m not backed up into a corner emotionally and figuratively as I was before. I’m expressing myself better and wanting more out of life again. So all positive signs and took a lot of work too. But I have a really strong feeling of loneliness and detachment from the world and everyone in it. I’m lonely when I go out when I’m home and I feel unwanted ignored and like I don’t belong. I suppose it’s not a new feeling but I don’t feel like I belong anywhere or even worse that no one wants me anywhere. Im a pretender I work and shop and live but I don’t really feel that I’m valued or that people really don’t like me. Is it self centred or self obsession or that I’m still always watching for danger and I’m on guard still. thanks MC