I feel like I’ve reached my limit. Aside from previous trauma, the past
few years have really tested my resilience, especially the last 12
months. I’ll try to summarise.My nan died, my friend died from an
accident, my mum died after fighting cancer f...
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I feel like I’ve reached my limit. Aside from previous trauma, the past
few years have really tested my resilience, especially the last 12
months. I’ll try to summarise.My nan died, my friend died from an
accident, my mum died after fighting cancer for a few years - caring for
mum at the end was the hardest thing I’ve endured, for various reasons -
my beloved dog died, I was going through the absolutely awful and
traumatic legal process of a rape case, which fortunately finally ended
with a trial date set.I came into 2024 though with so much hope, for
positive change, and potential happiness.8th Jan, I get told the DPP
decided to drop my case, there would be no trial. After all of the
immense stress & trauma from the process (that I ended up in hospital
for months from when I tried to end my life). Suddenly, it’s over, just
like that, the government gave up on me - it was too hard to fight for
me in court. 15th Jan I took my other dog to the vet she was having
trouble breathing. Immediate X-rays revealed she had collapsed lungs and
I’d be best to say goodbye in a matter of days.3 days later take her to
my normal vet (yes, yesterday), who says actually it might just be fluid
on the lungs caused by an infection- we will try meds for 2 weeks. I
should have been ecstatic, but I was so shocked. Of course, it’s
fantastic news, she’s my world. But now I feel numb, and totally lost.
The intense and devastating emotions over the 2 weeks have I think
finally broken me. And my poor doggo is still not well I have to listen
to her struggling to breathe all of the time which is heartbreaking and
I have no idea what’s going to happen or when. I don’t know what to do
with myself, or my feelings, or lack thereof.