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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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senseiawesome My wife is a sexual abuse survivor who I thought had moved on but has severely regressed after her abuser died recently (her grandfather) Please help?
  • replies: 6

Hi All, My wife was sexually abused by her grandfather for many years as a pre-teen to mid teens. She prosecuted him at the age of 21 and he was jailed for 18 months. We've been together now for 23 years and after much therapy/counselling I thought s... View more

Hi All, My wife was sexually abused by her grandfather for many years as a pre-teen to mid teens. She prosecuted him at the age of 21 and he was jailed for 18 months. We've been together now for 23 years and after much therapy/counselling I thought she had moved on to a happier place in life. To cut a long story short, she maintained a basic relationship with him over the last 23 years ( visiting him e.t.c ) which I strongly disapproved of inwardly but showed her support on a basic level ( I refused to see or talk to him at all). Our marital/love life has always been very simple & plain once she met me ( before that she had many partners in a very short time ) After her abuser (Grandfather) passed away a few months ago, she has completely regressed and is having nightmares and avoids any intimacy with me whatsoever. I understand this is normal for some survivors but after a few months now , any physical intimacy ( even hugs) are avoided like the plague... Its like she has it in her head that she was still in a relationship with him and is grieving him like a wife who has lost her husband?? I'm completely isolated (because of my position in the community-I'm well known to everyone without giving anything away) There is no one I can talk to about this..... I'm feeling helpless to help her plus I'm struggling badly without any form of human intimacy. I've encouraged her to seek counselling/help again but she is refusing. She says she loves me but won't give me even a hug/cuddle anything.... Any advice on where to go from here? I'm having huge difficulties sleeping and struggling with many depressive thoughts. Everyone in my local community knows me and its a gossipy area. So I'm asking for feedback/ideas/suggestions on what to do?? Regards,

Kbet Too much to bare
  • replies: 14

I lost my father to cancer before I turned 5 years old and I still remember seeing his face in hospital in those last precious moments. I went through many traumatic moments as an adolescent (abuse) and when I was 16 years old I witnessed a murder. L... View more

I lost my father to cancer before I turned 5 years old and I still remember seeing his face in hospital in those last precious moments. I went through many traumatic moments as an adolescent (abuse) and when I was 16 years old I witnessed a murder. Life just got worse from there miscarriages, rape and domestic violence. A never-ending spiral of hatred, self loathing and a feeling of being tortured. I have tried to stay strong but my grip is slipping. I can no longer see anything in front of me. Nothing worth holding onto. More and more things keep piling up on my shoulders. A brother with cancer, an elderly mother and a dysfunctional family. I have no support system because I am the support system. I have put all my memories into boxes in my mind just so I can wake up each day and go to work. I don't even know how I manage that because I find myself making myself sick with worry just so I don't have to leave my house. So I don't have to pretend to be alright. I barely sleep and I find it hard to communicate with people. How can I function now?

Jay95 my story of a traumatic childhood to where i am now
  • replies: 11

i spent the first 15 years of my life being neglected and mentally + psychically abused by my drug addicted parents - not provided what i needed to attend school such as books and correct uniform, and had nothing to stay safe and warm and be loved li... View more

i spent the first 15 years of my life being neglected and mentally + psychically abused by my drug addicted parents - not provided what i needed to attend school such as books and correct uniform, and had nothing to stay safe and warm and be loved like all children should be. i did my best to provide for my other siblings, i did my best thats all you can do as an 8, 9, 10 year old with no money or support from anybody. my parents only paid attention to us when they wanted something to hit and hurt. unfortunately my dad was worst for it and it happened every single night until i was 15. and it was much much more than just hitting, but i dont think i can go into detail here. i have scars and marks from these nights. this was usually when he was very drunk. i spent every single moment of my childhood terrified, lonely, feeling useless and feeling unloved. he manipulated and controlled me and my siblings. when i was 15 i spoke up about my home life, this was to a teacher at school after i showed up to school with a broken laptop that i had borrowed- it was used in the night befores proceedings....it took a lot for me to open up but it was the best thing i ever did. a while after that my brothers and sisters and i were put in foster care while mum and dad tried to sort out their issues, but that never happened they couldnt sort out their addictions and other problems out enough that it was safe for us. im 20 now and my younger siblings are still in care. my dad died last year and my mum is still using ice, cocaine, and some other drugs. i have been able to achieve something with my life and i am determined to be something and do something with my time in the world. i was constantly told i would end up being nothing in life, but look at me now - got a house of my own, got friends, a full time apprenticeship, play footy both for local and in a squad and I'm working on my mental health issues! I recently got a C-PTSD diagnosis and i'm working through it with headspace. from a difficult start and a life full of trauma, I'm leading a fulfilling life, its been a long time coming but I'm proud of my ability to fight!

Elizabeth CP New Has anyone had treatment for PTSD for trauma experienced decades ago
  • replies: 8

Hi I have experienced depression & anxiety for years and sought medical help more recently as it escalated. I recently gave up work as it became too difficult to cope while caring for my husband whose medical condition has deteriorated recently. My p... View more

Hi I have experienced depression & anxiety for years and sought medical help more recently as it escalated. I recently gave up work as it became too difficult to cope while caring for my husband whose medical condition has deteriorated recently. My psych recommended treatment for PTSD but I am now feeling more stressed & anxious as it is stirring up really bad memories and feelings. It also means there isn't time to focus on other things which are causing stress and increasing depression. I feel like there are are so many negative thoughts and feelings in my mind I am overwhelmed. The initial trauma occurred when I was 10 but there has been other experiences as an adult which had the potential to cause the same problem. (I usually go somewhere I feel safer and only return home when the I feel it is safe.)

Hoonlady living next door to attacker
  • replies: 5

In June this year, I was attacked by a neighbour while she was having a psychotic manic attack. It took months before I could go out of the house without panic, but I was recovering. Now my neighbour is back home and any progress I made is long gone.... View more

In June this year, I was attacked by a neighbour while she was having a psychotic manic attack. It took months before I could go out of the house without panic, but I was recovering. Now my neighbour is back home and any progress I made is long gone. Although the house is on the market, in our neck of the woods it takes around two years to sell and nobody local will buy or recommend the house next door to the local lunatic. The stress is more than I can bear. Anybody have any suggestions, as every time I see her I'm right back trying to duck that hammer. PS I still have to go through the ordeal of going to court. That alone fills me with dread and I'm pretty sure the verdict will be not guilty by reason of insanity (the correct term escapes me at present) and she'll still be next door with her bedroom within 10 metres of mine.

ribbonwhite PTSD AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
  • replies: 7

I'm not really sure where to start. Other than finally finishing in the family circuit being my undoing. Two nights ago I ended up in the hospital because everything finally hit me and became to much. I felt like I couldn't keep on going anymore. Tha... View more

I'm not really sure where to start. Other than finally finishing in the family circuit being my undoing. Two nights ago I ended up in the hospital because everything finally hit me and became to much. I felt like I couldn't keep on going anymore. That my abuser (my sons father) and my narcissistic mother were right "I'm just a piece of shit that no one likes" the anxiety is crippling me, the night terrors keep me awake. The heightened response that one day he will make good on those threats. I'm in this wave of emotion of not wanting to be anywhere, I don't want to be at home but I don't want to be at work, I don't want to be outside but I don't want to be inside. I spent two years going to a domestic violence counsellor, six months with a sexual assault counsellor. And six sessions with a phycologists trying to manage the PTSD. I thought I was managing ok till family court came to and end after three years. I can't move past the hurt that was caused by my abuser or my own mother. I feel really isolated and don't know how to cope with being a single mother with a son with behavior issues trying to get help to only be told"you're doing everything we would tell you to do, so there's nothing else we can do to help" trying to provide an income. All I have is my sister who lives in another town, and my best friend who even though has been in a domestic violence situation herself many years ago, does not comprehend the damage it has had on me mentally and believes I should just move on. But that's what Ive been told by many people that I just need to "move on its in the past" I really wish it was that easy. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know how to get back up. I know my son needs me but I don't know how to stop feeling the way I do. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

JosieRainbow Forgiving people
  • replies: 8

Hi all, I'm new to Beyond Blue. I joined because I'm searching for answers, and I'm actually not allowed to discuss my issues with some people. Every time I bring it up they respond with "Oh, Just let it Go!" Approximately 10 years ago, I was sexuall... View more

Hi all, I'm new to Beyond Blue. I joined because I'm searching for answers, and I'm actually not allowed to discuss my issues with some people. Every time I bring it up they respond with "Oh, Just let it Go!" Approximately 10 years ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone I looked up to, trusted and cared about. I was an adult (just) so therefore was given the choice to take it to court or not. I was given the advice that I shouldn't by other people who I trusted (the same people who won't allow me to talk about things with them), and therefore although I had a rape-kit done, just in case I chose to go ahead with it, I never took it any further. For a few years now, I thought that I'd forgiven the person who hurt me. I didn't think about it, it didn't affect my daily life. Recently, however, due to knowing that I would soon be seeing that person at a function that I was attending (and since attending said function) I've felt much the same as I did in those first few days/weeks after it happened. It appears now that I wasn't over it, I'd just repressed it. I want to forgive that person (though I'm not ready to forgive those who don't want to hear about it). I know through my faith (I'm a Christian) that there are scriptures that tell us to forgive, and yet when I mention this to people or on the Internet, I get conflicting messages. Some people say that I should try to forgive, when I'm ready, because Jesus taught us to forgive, but other people tell me that I should not ever have to forgive that particular wrong. Without going into too much detail about Christian beliefs, I'm trying to find out whether or not I should be forgiving person as they have not yet apologised and asked for forgiveness, and if so, I want to know how I go about forgiving that person. Part of me thinks that I should forgive, because Jesus didn't say "forgive everyone.... oh except for him!" Please note, I am not asking for a religious debate, this is not the place, but I am wanting to know which choice to make, because I really do want to forgive them despite their lack of repentance, I also want to know how to forgive (which is strange because I'm generally quite a forgiving person by nature. Thanks.

Enlighten_me Post traumatic disoder
  • replies: 2

Hello everybody. I'm new here just now. I suffer ptsd from physical injury and witnessing corruption. Which I won't go into due to sight rules and legal instruction. I hope I haven't broken the rules already. I just want to talk to people that suffer... View more

Hello everybody. I'm new here just now. I suffer ptsd from physical injury and witnessing corruption. Which I won't go into due to sight rules and legal instruction. I hope I haven't broken the rules already. I just want to talk to people that suffer similar symptoms and hopefully learn coping methods

Megflower PTSD I Never Feel Safe
  • replies: 12

Hi, My PTSD peaks then kind of recedes, but seems easily triggered. At the moment I am so lost in it I feel like I can't breathe, and all it took was someone else at work talking about their struggle with it, now I am so raw scared and having trouble... View more

Hi, My PTSD peaks then kind of recedes, but seems easily triggered. At the moment I am so lost in it I feel like I can't breathe, and all it took was someone else at work talking about their struggle with it, now I am so raw scared and having trouble pretending to be ok. I don't talk to anyone about it, but just his story has made me feel even more disconnected than before its just me and my memories. I was OK now I am just not, I can't feel safe its sort of like being back there. I feel bad I can't be better like the man at work, he seems okay he's functioning, I feel bad that I can't make myself better - like as if I am not trying hard enough.

blinkstar dealing with rape
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I've just newly joined this website, to find a source of support in my life. i was raped over a year ago; i did the necessary steps reported it to the police, saw a counsellor, dr and psychologist. i took anti-depressants and sleeping pills t... View more

Hi all, I've just newly joined this website, to find a source of support in my life. i was raped over a year ago; i did the necessary steps reported it to the police, saw a counsellor, dr and psychologist. i took anti-depressants and sleeping pills this helped me gradually de-stress from the pain. my closest friends know and elder brother knows. the problem is that it has been more than over 10 months since the cops have contacted me. i purposely don't think about it or talk about it. i keep myself busy with studies or working. until recently i saw the after effects of it catching up on me. things like not being able to sleep, bad dreams, waking up 2/4 times in a night, unable to talk in public speaking, becoming extremely anxious... my main issue is that i don't have the courage to call the cops and close my case. i get frustrated quite easily, in previous calls I've called and they've made excuses which puts me off. I'm going on my first solo adventure in december... i want to be able to have this chapter of my life closed up mentally. i don't want to have to resort back to medication just to be able to sleep and function properly. does anybody have any coping mechanisms for my situation? Any advice /support will help. thanks in advance