Moving forward but still held back.

[Bec1995]

Hi Guys,

So I'm new to this whole forum thing, but id love to get my story out and hopefully come across some new people who have been in a similar situation and who also are dealing with some similar issues.

As a young child, I was sexually abused for around 9 years, every second weekend and it has left me with serve depression, anxiety and PTSD.
Everything started getting really hard after finishing school because there was no routine and my anxiety got to the point of not being able to go outside by myself. My depression took over and things started falling apart. With no idea what to do or how to help myself, I ended speaking to a family member for support and guidance. I was eventually guided and convinced to go to the police and make a statement, which 3 years later and many court dates has left me to my final court date early next month to finally put the perpetrator away for the time he deserves. During court, he had been found guilty for all 5 charges and I finally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

During the whole court process, I have been studying online, completing a certificate 3 in animal companion services. I have 3 more electives to complete and work experience, but I feel like it all wont be completed in time- before mid July.
I'm so worried and scared to start work experience because of being terrified about making mistakes and if I don't my course completed, I feel like I'm going to let my family down. But these past three years have been mentally draining, exhausting and everything in between.

Anyways, this post was just to try and find out if anyone out there is in a similar situation as id love to hear your stories and hopefully gain some new friends who understand how I feel.
Thank you for your time guys! ❤️

[Waywardson85]

Thanks for sharing your story.

While I wasn't sexually abused, I was physically, verbally & mentally abused by my stepfather every day from the age of 2 til I left home at 15. I'm 31 now & still really struggling with all of the emotional & psychological damage that resulted from both the abuse & the lack of support I received from family, friends & teachers.

I wish I had the strength back then to take it to court & get some closure as now I feel like it's something I'll just have to live with, though I have no idea how.

You are moving forward & while you may not have confidence in yourself, I'm sure you have a network of friends & family who believe in you & will support you through it.

I've tried so many times to do Tafe & online courses but have absolutely no self-motivation. It's not a great feeling failing an online course but most of them have options for extension in certain circumstances & you would definitely be eligible for assistance.

Try contacting student support for an extension. Taking the pressure off yourself by extending your deadline might make things a whole lot easier on you & completely change your outlook on the situation.

Good luck with your course.

[Starwolf]

Hi Bec, welcome to the forums.

There sure has been a lot on your mind over those last 3 years. I am relieved your court case has had a positive resolution, though seeing it through must have taken its toll. You are obviously a brave, resilient soul...

I know from experience how exhausting and debilitating PTSD (and attached depression and anxiety) can be. I too have a background of childhood physical and emotional abuse. Sexual abuse came later. Healing has happened after a lot of hard mind work. But I have had to lower my expectations and learn to be kind to myself during the process.

Is there a possibility to put your studies on hold without losing what has already been achieved ? You would certainly have valid reasons to justify a break. If not, is anxiety the problem with work experience ? If you are undergoing therapy, it may be a good idea to talk to your doctor/therapist about your concerns. Perhaps mild medication could ease you over this dreaded patch ?

Your family must be aware of the stress you have been/are under. Do you have any reasons to believe they would not understand the need to relieve some of that pressure ? Is some of it self-imposed ? Is expecting too much of yourself part of the problem ?

Please take good care of yourself. Some of the stress you are buckling under may require radical surgery. You need healing and healing requires TLC. Don't deny it to yourself. With what you have been through, you sure deserve it.

Kindest thoughts.

[startingnew]

hi there and welcome to the forums

its really brave that you reached out. not an easy thing to do i know

i was sexually abused so i know the traumatic feeling you speak of- mine went for 4 years and it was aleast once a week. i would be happy to share my story with you but only if your comforatable with it.

ive literally just finsihed my online course but i was finding it quite difficult as well. i reccomend speaking to your tutor about how much trouble your having as well as they can often give you extra support and advice as well. 🙂

i know how stressful court date is too, i didnt go through court for the SA but i have court experince through other family issues and know how stressfull that is as well

[Bec1995]

Thank you so much for your response, help and guidance. I'd love to speak to you, helps a lot knowing others understand how I'm feeling 🙂

[Bec1995]

Thank you so much for your response,

I'm more then happy to talk if you need someone, as I love helping others who feel similar 🙂

[Bec1995]

Thank you for your reply and support,

My collage is aware of my situation and the only last available option is a two month extension which I have applied for.

My family also know what I'm going through and have provided great support

Im considering medication to help me throughout the last patch of my studies and work experience, as I have hardly been on medication, due to using my on going counselling instead. (Not a big medication taker, unless really needed)

But I do feel like it's my last option to try atm, to help me through the end.

thank you once again 🙂

[Starwolf]

Thank you for the feedback, Bec.

Well done for being proactive. Medication is never ideal but sometimes necessary. It doesn't have to be a long-term solution but it sounds like right now you could do with something to help you over a rough patch.

We're all different so react differently to the same treatment. Please do not hesitate to let your prescribing doctor know if you have any concerns. Just bear in mind that it takes a while for effect to kick in and for the body to adjust.

I hope it will allow you to function adequately and to take on the present challenges with renewed peace of mind.