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Lost and confused
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Hello,
A year into my journey to seek help I feel as lost and confused or more than when I started this.
I know there was a trigger event at the beginning of the week, but I feel helpless to stop the helplessness. I want to do things that make me feel better, but I also just want to hide. I've seen my psych yesterday and I don't think it has helped.
Just as I thought I had a bit of clarity and a goal to focus on, the playing field has changed once again. I'm just so tired of it. I like rules and I like to focus on goals, and in this game there are no rules, my back up team (meds) is a big trial and error, the ref (doc and psych) don't know which game I'm playing and confuse me when they have a guess, then we have time out and during this the game changes - so with my studs I run on ice all of the sudden.
I will as every day, keep some of my routine up, I don't give in that easy.
Will it ever get any easier? What can I do to make me understand that there is no game plan? How did you break through the confusion?
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Dear Neil, Sherie and Carol,
Neil, I hope you had a fantastic time in Japan!
Sherie, I hope you have been able to take a rest and feel strong enough for your next session.
Carol, how have the last few days been for you? I hope you are coping ok.
I had a bit of a set-back in the last week, but at least I can notice it and I know I have to make adjustments. Take a few steps back. Again. I think unless I can find a structure for my life, treatment and medication that works, there is no benefit in pushing forward too hard. I don't want to lose this fight.
Take care, Yggy
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Hi Yggy,
Sorry to hear of the slight set-back. I expect this will probably happen for a while, as old meds are waning, and new meds are starting to kick in. The hope is that the new meds will be far more effective than what you found the old ones to be. You were intending on getting a second opinion on your bipolar diagnosis - have you got an appointment lined up yet?
You wont lose this fight Yggy, you've got this covered. But you are right to take things slowly and carefully - literally feel your way along. Your feelings should be your guide.
I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow actually. My psych has written to him with an update on progress and treatments, and request for a new Mental Health Care Plan. And I also gave her my permission to tell him a little of what caused my ptsd. I have never spoken to my GP about it before, all he knew was that I had trauma symptoms. So tomorrow is going to be a very difficult apt for me, as he will want to discuss everything. I'm hoping I can 'hold it all together' long enough to talk about what I need to. It is one of my goals, to actually talk about what happened to someone. The only other person I've done that with, is my psych. My next session of EMDR work is on Thursday. And yes, I'm ready for it now. ( - :
Remain strong Yggy, you can do this. And I see that you have acknowledged that there have been some improvements. So - onwards and upwards ............
Take good care of yourself.
Sherie xx
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Hi Neil
I sincerely hope this post finds you well and you still come to the forum. Please let me know if you want to reconnect, I’ve been gone for a while.
Take care, Yggy
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