Loneliness is a powerful tool

[xyz]

Every morning I wake up knowing I have no one by my side. Every night I go to bed having been proved, yet again, that I have no one that cares for me.

I see my kids, the only reason I am alive right now, and I know that they too will hate me one day or get sick of me like all the others have. 

I have gotten really good at half truths because if they all knew who I really was they would all hate me too or worse, use me and then leave.

Just like mum

Just like dad

Just like my sister

Just like my husband

I live in a busy house, I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, I keep a job, I socialise all while knowing fully well that none of the people I interact with will have my back or fight for me when I need them to. They never have and they never will.

[BlueLily]

Hi xyz,

Warm welcome to the form. Sorry to hear you feel so lonely despite living in a busy house. Loneliness can be powerful but also very isolating. I'm not sure if that's a healthy way to live or even possible to survive long term like that. 

We all have parts in our lives that we may be ashamed to talk about or simply want to forget about. But if that feels like a burden, carrying that around and trying to suppress is not going to make it any easier. Sometimes you might find it so much easier to open up to people who are not very close to you such as a therapist rather than to your close family. They are able to provide unbiased feedback and help you with your emotions (Mental health treatment plan provided by Medicare is very useful for these situations). You are also welcome to share your stories here and we will help you get through it.

I want to stress the fact that specially with family members, it often looks like they don't care about us, they don't tend to show much attention to us and even hurt or fight with us. But that doesn't mean they don't love you or don't care about you. So don't forget that. 

Take care of yourself..