Introduction - Hello Everyone

[Guest_498]

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm 40 years of age, female. My interests include music (any genre), reading a great novel, watching comedy, Restuaranting, and learning new things. I suffer from depression and anxiety. Depression feels very lonely for me. I'd like to reach out for some support. Thank you.

[ecomama]

Hey Sleepy

Gosh it's really such a sad situation when our families behave like this, I know the feeling, it does suck.

It was nearly impossible to get into the mindset of the people who've hurt me, merely to understand them. Ofcourse I couldn't ever BE like them. The study was to try to understand their twisted minds so that I KNEW for 100% sure that things wouldn't change.
They can't change, they don't have the capacity to change.

When I finally came to the end of long road (10 years) which the police had abruptly intervened and began for me, going through depression etc, then really studying demon and the family with online psych stuff and that Course, it was acceptance I got to.

I just accepted.

When people are THAT psychologically unwell and without the willingness to seek MH help, it's like we're expecting a person in a wheelchair to get up and walk with us.

They can't. Their illnesses are that debilitating.

Our choices then are:
1. staying "in it all" which IME makes us more mentally unwell and increasing these issues for us.
2. Low contact that WE control, but we really have to be expert at compartmentalisation here.
3. No Contact which is what Police enforced for me. NOT an easy road either but freedom at the end. Even the freedom is a numbing experience for me at times.

And indeed Sleepy I watched this all play out for over 2 decades now... woah INDEED you are 100% correct, they chose other victims to do their evil stuff to. Now I'm even realising that my sweetest Aunty has a streak of this stuff in her - how could she NOT! But I put her straight, she gets shocked bec I won't join in, then reluctantly pulls her head in LOL!
I speak to her maybe once every year or 2.

I REFUSE to put up with anyone's shyte.

Polly lol sorry for the confusion!
Maybe Pollie? lol oh IDK.

Love you lots Sleepy
EM

[ecomama]

Hey Blubes

YUP doin the self-care thang BIG time lol!

Oh there's not lots of home cooked meals here at all any more!
How things had to change in a few weeks. It took me a while to realise that it was p.son and gf and their friends eating all the food lol.
I wasted SO much food for the first few weeks after they left... cooking, no one eating much, saving some leftovers for my lunches then feeding rest to the chickens.
On repeat.

THEN I realised. Omg... went through all this talking with BF. He's been so wonderful. He's changed his tack from "saving" me lol and fixing things to listening and reflecting.
I had another mini heartbreak over NOT cooking much!

THEN I HAD to really PUSH into the new world of my life.... it's hard recreating over and over but it's LIFE!!

This morning I thought "If I only had to get up and garden every day, grow food, do all the wonders of storing it - pickling, dehydrating, cooking and freezing it etc - then I'd be happy".
I see this as my retirement.
But I know I need connections, that's much harder work for me.

Oh I think I'm in the "push me pull you" phase with Alexa again.
She gets like this and I call it the Dr Dolittle phase lol.
I read what you guys said about family being nosey and I reflected on that.

I've tried so hard NOT to be nosey, but just to show I care.
My texts are just "How are you doing today sweetheart?" and she can answer with whatever she wants.
This week she didn't answer for 2 days and I get she was going thru lots this week, so I just texted the concert and dinner out details for tonight. Stuff I bought for the kids for Christmas presents lol - so we don't double up.

I've been more honest with her lately (past 2y) and told her how deeply important she is to me and the kids. How much she means to us all. I thought I'd always done that.

But the Dr Dolittle phases went in rapid cycles alot before then.

AND I want to HELP her being a single mum, 50% care of kids, doing full time hours in her time off - like up to 14h per day - sometimes I clean her house etc.
But I don't want to intrude!
I know what it's like being a single mum, working FT, having a rental with inspections and gardens to keep up - omg it's HARD.

Now she's adding Study.
MMmmmm.

Today we're going to the indoor pools and I'm buying new goggles for all the kids, they're learning how to swim. I should my Nana thing - what my Nana did for me...

I'll say more on my thread lol.

Love you lots Blubes
EM

[Guest_498]

Love you too, Ems. Xx
After party back @ Politicians home n Ive taken myself to his bed whilst the rest (full house) are kicking on. Ive met the famous climate change activist/protester whos made a name for himself (bit cute in real life) .. Hes nice, we got along n theres some chemistry there. Lol. Hes here now. Met an upstart pollie whos been in the job for 4 months .. Lebanese descent - finished his JD (law) and got into politics. Hes also here now. Erm, Politicians best mate is Italian and we exchanged numbers - Politicians bit protective over me lol. But I kinda miss my flatmate. I sent him a txt saying I wont be home. Flattie and I kissed the other night.
Blubes xx

[Guest_498]

Upstart pollie worked as a crim lawyer and hated it. Says youve got to be tough (he wasnt). He hates the cops as much as I do, and said to me clients will lie to you..its the worst coz you cant help them when they lie.

[ecomama]

Hey Blubes!

Wow what a night!
Sounds like you met some really interesting people.
That's great hey?

How are you feeling about getting closer to flattie?

It's lovely that Pollie is protective over you lol.... why not.
I think that shows how much he cares about you tbh.

Moving in interesting circles lol... and that's great for all sectors of your life IMHO.

AWESOME!

Love EM

[Guest_498]

Well, I couldn't sleep and txted him. Then we locked lips. It felt nice.
How do i feel? That was how i felt.

[monkey_magic]

Oh my gosh what a turn of events from when you first started writing.

Your life is more eventful and exciting.

I like that it was just a 😘 kiss.

This really could lead somewhere. Taking it slow.

I'm happy that your life has turned over a new leaf.

[ecomama]

Awesome Blubes, that's sweet to have his company. I'm happy for you!

I'm also SO happy that you're mixing with kindred spirits too.

I want all the very best for you, as for everyone (except for demon lol), I'm sure it's ALL coming to you!

You enrolled in Uni for next year didn't you? I know you were thinking about finishing off your Degree, can't remember if you enrolled. BUT no way in the world do I want you to feel bad if you haven't!!!
All in good time sweetie girl.

How are you feeling today?

EMxxxx

[Guest_498]

Hey Ems,
With your daughter, Alexa... Just a suggestion, let her come to you when she needs you. She will ask for your help, when she feels like she needs you. This way, youre not forever worried about her. 🙂

[Guest_498]

Hey Ems & Monkey,
The party was so cool. And I really enjoyed myself but I honestly felt out of my deapth with these smart people. I felt yeh, just VERY average. Feel insecure i think. There it is.