I’ve been on the forum twice. Both for issues that arise in the moment, but something new always comes up. I would hesitate to change, change, flake and then the next issue would arise. That ‘flake’ always confused me, but I kept going on cause I thought that everyone goes through their ups and downs.
That was until last week. There’s this friend of mine, a closer friend to my mate who’s a woman, that I’ve only met in 10 months compared to my other friends who I’ve know for 7-8 years. I had a 2 hour 1-1 conversation with, which I’ve never had with my guy friends, about some personal stuff that I would never see myself sharing. And that’s the thing, well I didn’t know it was the thing until today. I was talking to her about finances that had nothing to do with her but it did have to do with my mates. Was I a coward to not raise my issues and my feelings with my friends, perhaps. But then another idea came to my mind and I have to get it out before I forget to acknowledge it.
And it’s strange because I’m a man. These feelings have made me feel more alone yes; but they also make me feel more safe, freer and happier. I don’t mind being more alone. But, I don’t want that resentment to fester further into the relationship with my dad or my friend. Part of me wants to believe that they are well meaning when they say “you deserve better” rather than pushing me away.
Aside from self help, what are other methods I can use to navigate a) my trauma or b) my misandricism? I don’t want to close myself off.
