On New Years 2018 I caught my ex boyfriend cheating on me. He was extremely drunk and assualted me, damaged my car, stole my property and threatened to kill me. In the past I have tried to split with him due to his controlling and manipulative behaviour but he always did things such as trying to commit suicide or make me feel guilty so I’d be forced to stay with him. I did love him and we had planned such an amazing future together, but I’m struggling to keep myself from trying to contact him despite the fact that I have gotten an intervention order against him. He took our dog who was my baby and I still feel as though I want to sit down and talk to him about everything that’s happened. I don’t know if these feelings are due to the fact that I’m naive to what has happened or they are just part of the grieving process. I feel embarrassed and ashamed from what has happened and I’m feeling quite alone despite friends and family trying to be there for me. Can anyone give some advice or relate to the emotions I’m feeling right now?
