I found my deceased pet and can’t stop rethinking it

[Peachy202]

My pet cat went missing for 5 days the other day and I wasn’t sure what to think. Was he alive was he gone like I had no many thought rushing through my mind, I had a gut feeling something was terribly wrong and that he would be over my neighbours fence where nobody lives. For the past few days he was missing I’d check over the fence regularly but the grass was too tall to see anything, come Monday night I couldn’t take it anymore I jump the fence and start searching for my poor darling. After searching high and low I find him laying in the position he would lay in when we would sleep and that broke my heart, it looked like he had been attacked and he just didn’t look like him but I could tell it was him because that’s my baby. I stood there for a bit trying to breathe and stop my heart from racing because I didn’t know what I was going to do and felt like I was having a heart attack, I picked him up and took him home I couldn’t stop crying and my heart wouldn’t stop racing. For the past couple of night when I’ve tried to sleep as soon as I close my eyes it just goes straight back to the moment I found him, my heart starts beating faster and faster my eyes start watering and in that moment again I can’t breathe I have to sit up and try to breathe but it won’t help. I wake up in the middle of the night having flashbacks to when I found his lifeless body on the floor and I don’t know what to do because it hurts so much trying to breathe. I just hope the pain and hurt stops because I can’t deal with this anymore it hurts to even close my eyes, I don’t know what it is everytime I close my eyes my heart just starts racing and racing and I can’t stop it I have to sit up in my bed for me to feel semi ok again. Please someone help me 😭😭

[Sophie_M]

Hey Peachy202

We are really sorry to hear about your pet cat. They must have meant the world to you.
 
Pets are like our family, so it's never easy grieving the loss of a loved one especially after having found them like you did. It sounds like that would have been pretty traumatic.
 
A lot of our community members would be able relate to these feelings and we hope some of them will pop by to also offer you some additional support.
 
It may be also helpful to get in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief. 

[geoff]

Hello Peachy, and I can only sympathise so much for your loss, it's not what other people who didn't love your cat can possibly feel, they say they're sorry but it doesn't stop the pain you are going through, they aren't able to understand how deeply this upsets you, but those of us who have had to experience this ourselves know how you are feeling.

We aren't able to show our grief as compassionately as we want to because it just takes all our strength away as we mourn our loss, and although people are affected in their own way, there is no pleasure in having to suffer from this by ourselves.

I am so deeply sorry that you were the one to find your beloved cat, there is indefinitely no joy in any of this at all and please I hope you can accept my commiserations and my condolences for your loss.

My heart feels so much for you.

Geoff. x

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to the forum.

firstly sorry to hear about the loss or pet cat. I will sometimes think that relationships with animals or pets are better than with others. But that is a different topic. My family had to put down our pet cat; there were complicated issues and things were not going to work out well. I was the one to feed him, maintain the litter tray, etc. So the deed was done. This was about a month ago. Still to this day, when I do something like take the litter out, I think I have to close the door and then I remember my cat is not here. When I was much younger and got a letter from parents about my cat being run over I would think about what happened or the how. Not nice. So your feelings are normal, there was a love between you and your pet cat and at the loss of a relationship there is grief and healing (?) and moving on. How long that process takes is individualistic. Whether you want or need to write it out or speak with someone or .... Know that if you want to talk more we are here.

[Weaponsofmassdisstortion]

I am more of a dog person, but I don't mind cats. It sucks when you lose a pet. Something to love and something that loves you back. But without major requirements. I have always thought that there is more humanity in dogs and cats then in people sometimes. Animals just don't care about stuff like how much money you make, or what kind of music you listen to. Animals just want to be loved, fed and looked after. They ask for so little and give back so much in return. I you can move on and eventually find another animal to love.

[amberlite]

Peachy hello and my sympathy to you, the loss of a pet is a sad event and I am sorry for how it happened to you. I can imagine the 5 days not knowing your cats whereabouts would have been hard and then to be met with that ending. I do, I pity you situation, the only good bit is You found your cat and You never gave up. I think that you will need time to heel and it is important to remember the good times and all the love you shared. This is a situation that you may need to work through. So don't be afraid to reach out as much as you need to get help. We will all face hardships in our life time and though they are epic, together as a community we can understand and guide each other. May your cat rest in peace and May you recover and do wonderful things. Amber