How to navigate & function

[sadgirl57]

I'm having a struggly time and I really am having a hard time seeking support because I can't talk and/or communicate effectly what's going with me. I cry and lose my words. I can't write anything down because I get too anxious then lose it. Or I do and I'm not brave enough to hand over the letter.

I need to find a new, regular doctor and psycholgist and I just can't man. Having to do the spiel and breaking down in front of them... far out. Me not really being able to convey myself.

I'm so disconnected from my body. I regularly catch myself realising I'm not breathing or breathing really quickly and shallow. I haven't slipped in a hole this deep in a long time. I really thought I was past this.

I just quit my job even after cutting down to 2 days. It took so much mental time to recover and the anxiety I felt outside of work constantly about going back. Having to pretend, put on face, be professional, giving, loving, patient, quick and on the ball. I couldnt. I just spent hours daydreaming and feeling pain when I have to 'come back'. I keep coming out of trances and I've binged on food or order delivery or smoked again. My dog isn'tgetting cared for like she should, I keep asking for help in my own way but can't convey how bad. My bf and Mum (the only people I really have) just say go to the doctor, any doctor. 'Go on meds, eat well & excercise' sure doc. I'm tired of being gaslit into being recommended 'what's best for me'. I just need some support in practicing healthy people skills. In a safe space. Constant flashbacks and painful memories violate my mind. I've gotten myself out of slumps before but this is different. The longer is goes on the harder it is to remember why bother at all.

I'm starting to isolate again because I'm filled with shame and getting help is the hardest shiz. 10 years. Recovery faith dwindling.

Where is all the actual trauma aware docs and psychoologists?

[mmMekitty]

Hello Sadgirl57,

Welcome, & well done for writing & posting here on BB, so much of what is going on for you.

I'm sure people are reading your post, & are thinking about what you have said.

You are certainly going through a tough time.

I think it is a good idea to go to your GP again. Ask for a long appointment, so you can have time to talk.

If you can copy & or print out what you've written here, maybe, show this to your GP, & use it to help you to talk about what you need.

For now, you might like to phone BB's own counselling serviceon:

1300 22 46 36

I hope you stay in contact with us, or someone you trust & can talk to.

mmMekitty

[geoff]

Hello Sadgirl, I'm really sorry you are feeling this way and if I can suggest, without meaning any harm to you, that's certainly not what I'm here for, just only want to help you.

If you want to see a new doctor and psychologist then perhaps the same problem may happen, so are you able to post this document to them, but it's important that you feel comfortable with them and to sit with them and cry is exactly what happened to me, I was unable to get 2 words out to the psychologist, and you know what this indicates, although I'm not a doctor, but it tells them you are asking for help.

There is no shame crying in front of them, and you're not the first person to do this, that's why they always have a box of tissues on the desk and I've used them many times.

It's just being able to get over these first couple of sessions that I know is difficult and would love to hear back from you whenever you're available.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Petal22]

Hi sadgirl57,

Im sorry you are feeling this way, I understand.

Sometimes we don’t know what’s going on with us and how to say it……… I remember going through this I actually just sat in my doctors office crying but my doctor understood that I needed help.

I also saw a clinical psychologist, I was crying , I was distressed, my head was in a spin and I just blurted out some of the horrible intrusive thoughts I was having.

Doctors and phycologists understand, they can read in between the lines.

Breaking down in front of health professionals is ok they see it day in and day out.. yes you will give them the spiel again but this time may be the time that you are talking to the correct doctor who can help you……. Never give up on finding that doctor they do exist.

I found my correct mental health team and I’m now recovered…. Life on the other side is amazing,

Please see your gp do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist ask for a clinical psychologist…….. what do you have to loose? I think you have a lot to gain…..

[sadgirl57]

My real problem is going through the pain of finding a new doctor. It's retraumatising from all the poor doctors I've had. I need a trauma-informed GP.

I've just sent bulk emails to new psychologists asking if there's a texting/ email option and a few have said it's fine.

[Petal22]

I understand sadgirl57, it would be difficult to find the correct gp for you because we have to go through a few to find the correct one….but please keep trying to find your doctor and treatment because it’s out there… a health professional will be able to help you..

I understand that you want to find a trauma informed gp and that’s understandable.

But in saying that how would you feel about making an appointment with a general gp and just getting a feel for them? They may be able to refer you to a trauma trained clinical psychologist..

Im more comfortable with a female gp I’ve been lucky to find such a caring and empathetic gp … they are out there………. Even if they aren’t trauma trained they are kind and caring and want the best for you and for your mental health……

I know that it is so hard to talk about things that have caused us trauma, but by doing this it will allow you to move forward in some way.

You will find a doctor that you can trust which in time will help you…

Im here to chat to you

[Petal22]

Also have any of your past phycologists been able to give you an strategies? I understand it would be difficult…

I understand how you have expressed the painful memories that violate your mind in a way but maybe a little different… I had OCD so my mind would constantly bring up unwanted thoughts and images in a repetitive way it was very distressing for me…..

Ive recovered now, Ive healed from my OCD but it takes time and healing has no time limit….. but healing really is possible.