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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Grimace PTSD - Disconnecting From Friends and Family
  • replies: 7

Morning All, I suffer from PTSD, Adjustment Disorder and Depression stemming from my time in the Service. Currently under treatment of Psychologist and Psychiatrist but have found that there is only so much talking I can do and take on board. Being i... View more

Morning All, I suffer from PTSD, Adjustment Disorder and Depression stemming from my time in the Service. Currently under treatment of Psychologist and Psychiatrist but have found that there is only so much talking I can do and take on board. Being in the hole and trying to climb out is bloody hard and with everyone giving advice its all just overwhelming. So far I've lost a marriage, a new relationship and I'm close to losing the bond with my children. The kids can see me falling apart and they can sense its a struggle for me to show them the affection they deserve - I know its wrong, but it all feels like a chore trying to put on that brave face and pretend I'm ok. My parents have an understanding, but as much as they are trying to help, once again its the feeling of being overwhelmed with advice and concern. As stated earlier, I do appreciate everyone in my circle trying to help, but there is only so much talking a person can do before it gets too much. As much as its not good, I've found myself disconnected from everyone. On one hand its needed but also I know its not the better thing to do. Its been six weeks now and I still have no real way forward - its almost a sense of comfort being away. Apologies for the rant, but had to get it off my chest - my biggest concern is trying to get the bond back with my kids, but it feels almost impossible most days; feels like a "tick-in-the-box" exercise getting through most days...

Scapegoated My new anti-depressant makes me less anxious but I have to rest more
  • replies: 3

Hi, My new anti-depressant is working better. I no longer feel anxious and like i HAVE to do something or people will think i am weird for being inside too much. I feel better so I am grateful. I also feel less angry. I was taking another antidepress... View more

Hi, My new anti-depressant is working better. I no longer feel anxious and like i HAVE to do something or people will think i am weird for being inside too much. I feel better so I am grateful. I also feel less angry. I was taking another antidepressant and it was making me anxious and more angry. THere is something that I do though and i am doing it more. It is not self harm it is part of my ocd. I have body dysmorphic disorder and part of that is grooming or skin picking the other part is distortion of my physical appearance so with this new antidepressant i am free of the physcial appearance distorion and that bothers me SO MUCH MORE it is torture. If i have dead skin on my feet I pick it. And I try to only remove the dead skin but sometimes i go too far*not often) but it's like with a hangnail and then i feel sad because it hurts. I have told someone about this and read about it and I was doing it with the last antidepressant but i am more aware now than i was when I was taking my previous medication. I am on another medication and I feel bad that I have the urge to fix the dead skin on my feet but i know this is ocd. I have never bled or anything from removing the dead skin but last night I took off a piece that was too close to the good skin. It is the same as when you bite your cuticles and you think you ae taking a hangnail off but then you take too much off. ANyway. At least I don't feel anxious-well obviously if i have ocd I still feel a little anxious but nothing like when i was on the other antidepressant. I feel calm and not caring so much what other people think. And my body dysmorphic disorder is much better. THat was really torturing me if you look at my other posts. I was really distorting my appearance on my medications together. I read an email to my friend that was so bizarre i thought i looked like someone who I have nothing in common with-but that is becaus eof something my mother said to me when i was little and my mind distorted it. I am very creative LOL! ANyway this is good news even though some of you are probably thinking that removing dead skin from my feet is gross. I remember when I was little my mother did that and i thought it was the most disgusting thing i had seen. And now I am doing it. Also my father bites his cuticles so I guess it runs in the family. But i did not do it when I was five. And i only do it when I get callouses. Hope i did not gross anybody out.

Scarlett06 Toxic behaviours and wanting to fix them
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, I have recognised some toxic behaviours in myself that I’d really like to try and stop as it harms my relationships with others. Ive been with my current boyfriend about a month, we haven’t been able to see eachother due to lockdown. I r... View more

Hi everyone, I have recognised some toxic behaviours in myself that I’d really like to try and stop as it harms my relationships with others. Ive been with my current boyfriend about a month, we haven’t been able to see eachother due to lockdown. I realised that frequently I will put my problems on him and expect him to know how to respond and help, and get angry if he doesn’t. I really dislike that I do this. For example, I was telling him that I don’t want to eat breakfast or lunch since I had McDonald’s last night and he wasn’t sure how to respond. I got mad at him for how he responded even though he wasn’t trying to harm me and I shouldn’t have put that problem on him in the first place. I also notice that I sometimes do things just to get attention from others. I think my biggest problem is getting mad at people for small things, I lost my best friend because we hadn’t talked for a few weeks and she replaced me with another girl. I got angry at her instead of talking it out. I feel as if I don’t really care for others as much as I do myself, and I don’t like that. I have been diagnosed with Autism, complex PTSD & anxiety. I would appreciate and tips or advice. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to help me.

Scarlett06 Extreme panic attack
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I posted this morning to this same topic but needed help again. I’m 17 and have complex ptsd, autism and severe anxiety. I have a long distance boyfriend, who I haven’t been able to see because of lockdown. Tonight I had flashbacks from ... View more

Hi everyone, I posted this morning to this same topic but needed help again. I’m 17 and have complex ptsd, autism and severe anxiety. I have a long distance boyfriend, who I haven’t been able to see because of lockdown. Tonight I had flashbacks from all my past traumas and started having tremors and “seeing” the same demon thing that comes only when I’m with someone I’m in a relationship with. I have no idea why this happens and id like to understand because every time I had a thought about why it happens my tremors and flashbacks got worse. I have seen this thing when I’m by myself sometimes, but mainly when I’m with someone. It tells me to do things. I know it’s not there and I don’t actually visually see it, it’s just in my mind. move mentioned it to my therapist. is it an attention thing? i can’t stop shaking, it starts out like a normal panic attack and gradually gets worse. im sorry I can’t type well enough to explain it right now, I’m stillshaken up. I hope you understand and thanks for helping me out.

LinaWarrior96 PTSD behaviours
  • replies: 3

About 6 months ago, a really toxic person moved out of my house. He wasn't paying rent on time which was the main reason he was asked to leave, but the other reason was that he was emotionally manipulative. He didn't hit anyone, but he would blow up ... View more

About 6 months ago, a really toxic person moved out of my house. He wasn't paying rent on time which was the main reason he was asked to leave, but the other reason was that he was emotionally manipulative. He didn't hit anyone, but he would blow up if something small wasn't done his way. It got to the point where we weren't allowed to drink water from a tap if he was asleep. He literally turned off the water because we had woken him up with it. If there were dishes in the sink he would slam doors, or storm off. On more than one occasion he ran off and threatened to harm himself. It honestly feels like such a long time ago, but still it feels like I'm still scared by him. I still jump if a door is closed a little too hard. Today, one of my housemates left the house and my first thought was "oh god, what did I forget to do?", and the first thing I wanted to do was text that housemate to check what I did wrong. I thought I was past all of these behaviours. I still get a little weird about turning on taps too late. My psychologist basically told me to practice exposure therapy. Turn on some taps, or leave dishes in the sink. But doors closing, particularly the front door (which is especially loud most of the time), is really hard for me. I don't know if I'm really looking for advice, but I just wanted to tell my story and not feel completely crazy for being scared of things like doors closing. Am I alone? Because I feel like I should've moved passed this already.

Scapegoated Hi. I wonder when it will go away...thinking that people are doing and saying evil things to me like my mother
  • replies: 2

I have an older sibling who is an adult and she and my mother would gang up on me and abuse me. I am ten years younger so she is an adult sibling. She is a narcissist as is my mother. My sister and mother said and did such evil things to me mocking m... View more

I have an older sibling who is an adult and she and my mother would gang up on me and abuse me. I am ten years younger so she is an adult sibling. She is a narcissist as is my mother. My sister and mother said and did such evil things to me mocking me all the time because I was my father's favorite that I always think other people are mocking me in the same way, they did not respect me that is for sure. So I always think that everyone will do the same because i attracted really mean kids when I was in grammar school and they did the same thing my sister and mother did. It was horrible. But then I grew and am considered very pretty and people are nice to me but I always think they are saying bad things still. I wonder if this is ever going to change. Where I can just trust that someone is not like my mother and older sibling and uncles. All four of those people ganged up on me. My father is a drunk. He turned to the bottle to get away from my mother and sister's cruelty and abandoned me to them. he left me in the lions den. The thing is I met some nice people and they are not doing these things to me but it is hard for me to believe that people are just wanting to be nice. Even though that is my reality now. I know that my adult sibling who violated all my boundaries and my mother as well, traumatized me but I am seeing the difference between safe and dangerous people I think finally. Even though I still question whether they will turn out to be mean and evil.

SapphireDreams Diagnosed with complex PTSD and bpd
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've been diagnosed for quite a few years now. But honestly I'm not sure I understand what complex PTSD is? Could anyone explain? And do any of you have any treatments you could suggest for me? So tired of struggling. Please and thank you

Hi, I've been diagnosed for quite a few years now. But honestly I'm not sure I understand what complex PTSD is? Could anyone explain? And do any of you have any treatments you could suggest for me? So tired of struggling. Please and thank you

psalm_139 what happens when you report sexual assault (TW)
  • replies: 5

Just wanting some insight into what happens when you report a sexual assault to the police (NSW). Whats the process, whats been you experience, what happens to the accused offender (are they charged, do they go to jail, would the police show up at hi... View more

Just wanting some insight into what happens when you report a sexual assault to the police (NSW). Whats the process, whats been you experience, what happens to the accused offender (are they charged, do they go to jail, would the police show up at his door) Working my way up to reporting what happened but feel like I need more understanding about the process. I am scared of not being believed, I am scared of what the offender could do to me, I am scared that he might make up lies or say that I wanted what he did to happen (not true), I am just really scared. The offence happened end of last year and again this year. So because I havent reported yet I am also scared that they will say to me 'why didn't you report it straight away'? Thankyou

PatM1 Can you have PTSD twice in your lifetime.
  • replies: 1

First, PTSD was when I was 5 years old from my mothers' brother, and my grandmother's next-door neighbour kept my silence until I was 22 had seen a psychologist from the age of 6 because my mother thought I was having pal mal seizures. But they were ... View more

First, PTSD was when I was 5 years old from my mothers' brother, and my grandmother's next-door neighbour kept my silence until I was 22 had seen a psychologist from the age of 6 because my mother thought I was having pal mal seizures. But they were nothing of the sort. So I did not tell her, just I was frightened of what might happen to her. The abuse went on until I was 8. I could not complete state school because of a nervous breakdown, so in grade 6 was transferred to a special school, so my lack of education cost me a great deal in self-esteem. The second PTSD was when I was 42 years old. My children and I went to my sister and brother-in-law's place for the Easter holidays at 1 am; I found myself doing CPR on my brother in law trying to bring him back to life, but that was not the case. We lost him that night. I have suffered from trauma twice in my life, so my question is can you have PTSD twice in your lifetime.

Curious77 Feeling anxious about home
  • replies: 155

Hello all, I thought I would give these forums a try because I feel anxious every time I go home because I have come to the conclusion that my father is psychologically abusing me, continually harassing me and lying to me and not allowing me peace in... View more

Hello all, I thought I would give these forums a try because I feel anxious every time I go home because I have come to the conclusion that my father is psychologically abusing me, continually harassing me and lying to me and not allowing me peace in general by trying to get me upset all the time. I am on a low income and I do not think too well because I stress out easily and feel overwhelmed by it all. I do not know how to get myself out of this and I do not have any close friends or family because of my father's behaviour and my own low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness. I can not remember the last time I was happy to be alive and connected to the world around me and I would like that to change.