Grief, not nice

[Buda]

Hi there, hello......yeah I'm new.

I'm okay just lonely and sad, I don't really have any words, just man tears and a wounded soul.

My wife died of cancer 5 weeks ago, we have two teenage daughters, 18 and 14. I use to think grief was something one passed through, but I now realise it's part of the new you, it's there forever whether invited or not.

I also use to be a pretty normal, happy guy, I just turned 50 on the weekend and have a great bunch of friends. We had the perfect family and the 4 of us did everything together.

My friends in the main leave me alone, because I apparently need time and space, but while everyone gets back to normal, I'm still here redefining reality. I get it, this is my bag, nobody elses. She was only diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago, rare, aggressive, untreatable. Small pea lump in saliva gland, which basically spread throughout her body.

So yes, we're all devo, the 3 of us in particular, but also our friends.

Life sucks sometimes. Like I said, I'm just sad. I'm hear just to talk and share. Please to meet you!

[Buda]

Thanks Kanga, sorry for you loss... and your daughter's. Glad to see you're a survivor and onto it. Yeah I've never cried some much in my life, the kids said they were glad when I started crying in front of them ... 6 months before she died, otherwise they "would be really scared and worried for me." My wife actually said to me "if you had cancer you would be crying like a bi*ch" -- lol which was true, she built a hard exterior in the end, was too painful knowing she wouldn't be there for the girls. Best of luck mate and thanks again.

[Guest_128]

Hey Buda,

What came out of letter was true love,something that so many people never get to experience. Your wife was so very luck. She had you for all those years,she is also lucky to see your daughters to the age that they will never forget!

Yeah life is you know what!!!!!!! And you will never have an answer why This has happened.

Talk to your mates,go do something with them,it's ok ,oh man you just sound like such a nice guy,maybe that's a thing,she new you could look after the girls.

when the time is right don't leave it to long,watch family videos,laugh about the funny memories. And you know already she wants you all to move forward.

we would all love to get to know you more,join in wherever you want.

I nursed my best friend for three years, she was 40 when she left us,married with three young girls.

so so hard,I am sorry for all your pain.

Later