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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Ozmike Newbie saved a life but not dealing with it very well
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. A little while ago I saved a complete strangers life in pretty shit circumstances. I was international news for a few days and everyone was heaping praise on me for the outcome. They have all moved on to the next thing to talk about and ... View more

Hi everyone. A little while ago I saved a complete strangers life in pretty shit circumstances. I was international news for a few days and everyone was heaping praise on me for the outcome. They have all moved on to the next thing to talk about and , on the surface, so have I. Under the surface though I'm not doing so well. The incident happened recently where i came across a crashed car in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. Inside was a man trapped and the car on fire. While the outcome was good, my mind keeps replaying the preceeding 10 minutes where there were moments I genuinely thought i was about to watch someone who was perfectly aware of his surroundings and begging for my help get burnt alive. Every time I let my mind idle just a bit it goes to replaying those moments and every time i drive past that spot at night I have to focus very hard on something, anything to stop me going in to a full blown panic attack thinking I'm going to have to go through it again. Getting professional help out here is nearly impossible unless you are suicidal and even then you usually have to wait. I have spoken with the chaplains from the fire brigade and police a few times but they have people with bigger issues than me to worry about. I feel better for getting this off my chest but i think i need some tips from the people here to help me help myself. Thanks for listening.

LITH My future seems dark
  • replies: 7

I was firefighter and emergency medical technician for 14 years, when I moved state I gained a position with correctional services. After 4 years as a prison guard I quit and went back to my trade as a painter/plasterer. I hid my feelings my everyone... View more

I was firefighter and emergency medical technician for 14 years, when I moved state I gained a position with correctional services. After 4 years as a prison guard I quit and went back to my trade as a painter/plasterer. I hid my feelings my everyone for years as I was brought up by my grandfather who was ex navy and Avery hard man. Long story short I have major depressive disorder, anxiety and PTSD. I struggle to get out of bed and go to work, anxiety is over the top. First psychiatrist kept giving me more tablets which shut down my liver, second psychiatrist gave me different pills, but they don't seem to do much. I am living on alcohol and prescription drugs. Nothing seems to be working so my future seems very dark to me. I am trying to run a business and have four employees but it is a real struggle, I have run out of options, even a psychologist didn't help me. No one seems to understand what is going through my head and I feel like I may be exaggerating things in my head. I'm at a crossroad at the moment and there is only two choices, rant over, at least someone may see this and have an answer, otherwise I will be expecting something better in the next life.

Mm8kids Traumatic cesarean birth
  • replies: 2

Ive had depression and anxiety for a few years but 10 weeks ago it has gotten worse..i had my 6th cesarean (8th baby) the cesarean part was no big deal for me but i was diagnosed with low lying placenta from time i was 12 weeks preg..i told my husban... View more

Ive had depression and anxiety for a few years but 10 weeks ago it has gotten worse..i had my 6th cesarean (8th baby) the cesarean part was no big deal for me but i was diagnosed with low lying placenta from time i was 12 weeks preg..i told my husband i need help with the kids and house work etc as i was told not to lift and b on my feet to long..he told me to buy the kids wateva they want to make things easier..i told him this was not the solution..fast forward at my 28 weeks scan i was told i might have placenta acreta where placenta attaches to uterus and cause complications during birth and results in hysterectomy..at 34weeks scan showed everything to b fine..37w5d i had my cesarean..10 minutes afta they started doctor tells me they need to put me to sleep...i woke up that afternoon in extreme pain..once bak in my room they told me they did hysterectomy as placenta had gone right thru the uterus..my daughter was tiny but perfect and healthy..its been 10 weeks i havent left the house..i have night mares..my husband mocks my pain he tells me to get over it and b greatful..i am very greatful as i have been blessed with 8 healthy kids but this is so painful for me..at times i wish i jus bled to death then having to deal with this pain all alone...i dont expect him to understand but i wuld love jus a lil support from him..so sorry but had to vent

Moonbeamer PTSD anxiety and depression are devastating enough to live with
  • replies: 1

Every day is a struggle to stay healthy and, to be frank, keep going. The worst thing about PTSD anxiety and depression is the stigma. I live in a rural area (New England region) and several times in the last 12 years I have been admitted - or admitt... View more

Every day is a struggle to stay healthy and, to be frank, keep going. The worst thing about PTSD anxiety and depression is the stigma. I live in a rural area (New England region) and several times in the last 12 years I have been admitted - or admitted myself - to hospital out of immediate fear of my safety. My last 3 encounters with the local mental health department have seen outrageously disrespectful, rude and downright abusive treatment from certain people 'in charge'. In some cases these 'professionals' have failed me by simply not doing their job... making things impossibly hard for me. When I was hospitalised a few years ago as a result of domestic violence - not a single person asked me about domestic violence. I was not even permitted to talk to the police about it from hospital. After release from hospital, the police asked me why I hadn't contacted them earlier! Almost 4 years later and I cannot go out in my local town for fear of the bloke who got away with it. Another time, they would not let me make a phone call to get a friend to check on my dog. I was desperately distressed... worrying about my dog and being treated like a criminal with one phone call made everything far worse. When I tried to leave so I could make a call from a public phone ( I was there voluntarily), they refused to give me any of my property or my car keys. I am a very quiet, reserved softly-spoken person. I am well educated and articulate. I am polite to a fault. I have never assaulted anyone. Never been in trouble with the law. My main problems with PTSD anxiety and chronic depression are the result of me being the VICTIM of violence/abuse. However,in every interaction with hospital-based mental health in the Armidale/Tamworth area I have been treated like dangerous criminal scum! It has been made clear to me, by the implication of so-called professionals' failures to bother to do their job, that the violence I experienced MUST have been ALL MY FAULT... I MUST have done SOMETHING to deserve the abuse. Consistently, I have been made to feel unwelcome and worthlessly undeserving of assistance. Breaks my heart. Makes the feelings of isolation, constant fear and worthlessness worse. I no longer see the local mental health service or local hospital as viable or safe options for dealing with crises when they occur. There is literally nowhere else to go, but I desperately need help... Stigma kills and I'm feeling there is no hope either for me or for change. Lost.

Kelizabeth Struggling to come to terms with serious car accident
  • replies: 4

I was involved in a very serious car accident about 6 weeks ago and I'm struggling to cope with the thoughts that run through my head 24/7. I was T-boned on the driver's side by a 4WD going 110km/h and it all still feels surreal that I'm even here. I... View more

I was involved in a very serious car accident about 6 weeks ago and I'm struggling to cope with the thoughts that run through my head 24/7. I was T-boned on the driver's side by a 4WD going 110km/h and it all still feels surreal that I'm even here. I can't sleep anymore, I get images of myself in the car and no one can get me out and everyone is standing around looking at me but no one is helping and I'm screaming and in pain. I find that little things startle me so much and I've forgotten so many details of what happened even though I was conscious for the whole event. I'm getting so angry because everyone I reach out to for help seems to think I'm just absolutely fantastic because my physical injuries have healed and everyone keeps telling me I'm lucky...but I don't feel it. I feel so stressed and anxious I won't let anyone else in my car because I'm afraid I'll hurt them and I spend hours staring at the pictures of the accident trying to undo it or punish myself for what I've done. I've always been anxious but this is a whole new level and I'm having panic attacks literally everywhere, in the shower, in bed just remembering the small things I actually remember from the accident. People keep telling me it's normal to feel like this but I'm not convinced

Keep_on_running Keep moving forward!
  • replies: 6

Someone else is always worse off than me I keep telling myself. You see it every day in the news! I think I am typing this as it helps me clear my mind somewhat. I am 41 years old now, have 3 beautiful boys, but sadly I have had to say goodbye to one... View more

Someone else is always worse off than me I keep telling myself. You see it every day in the news! I think I am typing this as it helps me clear my mind somewhat. I am 41 years old now, have 3 beautiful boys, but sadly I have had to say goodbye to one child a number of years ago, and then goodbye to my wife almost 2 and a half years ago. We lost her in the most tragic of circumstances while on a family getaway. Such a beautiful, healthy young woman with nothing but love for life and for her family and friends. We tried to keep her alive, doctors, nurses and paramedics were and are amazing, and they truly don't get the recognition they deserve. I have seen things I never wanted to see, made decisions I have never wanted to make. Its strange you know. People have often said that they don't know how I have dealt with things or how I have coped. The true reason is, what alternative is there? You either cope and maybe there will be days ahead where something happens and it makes you smile or laugh, or your kids make you so proud, or simply the warm sun shines on your face and you realise there is much to look forward to. There is no alternative but to cope. Try and love life I say!

beb7 Trigger warning: Hold up situation + suicide of a friend.
  • replies: 5

Hi all I am a 23 year old girl with some issues. My Ptsd started after a horrible situation at work.I am a cashier and I was going about my normal day. It was busier than usual. I turned around and a man was standing next to me with a gun at my hip. ... View more

Hi all I am a 23 year old girl with some issues. My Ptsd started after a horrible situation at work.I am a cashier and I was going about my normal day. It was busier than usual. I turned around and a man was standing next to me with a gun at my hip. I looked at him so confused and then down at the gun. He said to me "I am not f**king around, open the till" So I did and he grabbed the money and ran out. Hardly anyone noticed what had happened. I was so scared I almost wet myself. I lent over my till and cried. I had heaps of support, my family and my amazing boyfriend are so good with it, but I found it hard getting back to work. They started docking my pays and I had to go back. Councillors didnt seem to help much so I went without. In the middle of last year one of my friends commited suicide. I find this very hard to talk about because it literally breaks my heart. He was a kind gentle soul, and I think about him every single day. I am a wreck, its been a year since the hold up and 6 months since my friend left this earth. I am hurting still. I am very clingy with my family and boyfriend. I dont go out much/only if i have too. I have put on weight which I cannot stand. I have no motivation to do anything. I cry sometimes for no reason and I am always scared. I cant even get up at night to go to the toilet because I am so petrified of being alone in the dark. If my dog barks, I flip out. I will stare out the window for like half an hour. Honestly I feel as though work just wanted me back asap, how do people put a time frame on someone who is healing from these things. I am just struggling. With sleep, with work, with myself. I am getting help now but im still at the same work place, I really just don't want to be there. I am so sorry for rambling on, just any tips on how to cope would be more than appreciated xx

Toolate I dont count.
  • replies: 2

I just want some advice as to who i should see. I dont feel comfortable seeing my family doctor, but I need help. Typing is so easy, but I probably wont post , but I was abused at 8. Hid it for many years in my mind locker. Now I've turned 50 and its... View more

I just want some advice as to who i should see. I dont feel comfortable seeing my family doctor, but I need help. Typing is so easy, but I probably wont post , but I was abused at 8. Hid it for many years in my mind locker. Now I've turned 50 and its breaking at the seams. Affecting my life and family. Im self medicating but I am suffering. Im on the way down. Is there a proffession that doesn't need referrals ? That could help ? I dont know. I have a wife and 6 kids and im letting them down daily. I am self employed so work every day and i am struggling mentally but hiding behind what everyone believes is a happy, funny family man. I have no joy in me. No excitement nor sadness. I am dead inside. I find it hard to talk so if anyone knows what route I should take I would appreciate it. Thank you. Im not gonna post this am I?

KyleL2 *trigger warning, sexual content*. work stress, family life stress, recovering addict stress. how do i manage it
  • replies: 2

*trigger warning, sexual content* so i have been pretty stressed the past month with some work place incidents i was involved with, 3 pretty crappy things have happend, one being just two nights ago when my machine i was working on (on rail) slid dow... View more

*trigger warning, sexual content* so i have been pretty stressed the past month with some work place incidents i was involved with, 3 pretty crappy things have happend, one being just two nights ago when my machine i was working on (on rail) slid down an incline and smashed into the wind shield of the other truck. it really just hit the nail on the head with how i've already been feeling at work atm. im 6 months clean from quitting all social media, as it was taking over my life, i was a massive narcissist and i was focusing on that more than i was with my family. so im managing not being on there anymore which is great, also a recovering from sexual addiction, " whatever the hell that is anyway" but basically i was spending more time doing that then with my own wife which was taking its toll on our relationship, but i have given it away, one or two relapses but still focused on the bigger picture. the route of my problem with sexual pleasure is, that was my "drug" of choice to mask the pain of what i'm going through with life, stress, whatever you want to call it, i always felt better after a good "you know what" . anyway with all this crap going on at work i have just felt depressed, anxious and stressed out big time and its making me slip into bad habits, which i'm fighting with all my might mind you to keep on board, but its really messing my head up. i relocated states so i have no friends where i am now, so i have no other outlet, sometimes my wife really doesn't understand. shes i guess a "tough woman' and i'm a pretty vulnerable bloke at times, no hard edge about me, i let my feelings over come me sometimes but that's how i've always been. anyway enough of my rant, already feeling a bit more 'Free" after writing this, hope to hear back from some similar stories, take care and stay safe. cheers.

Empathic Alcohol addiction and emotional abuse
  • replies: 9

Well here I am in the midst of trying to rebuild my marriage after discovering my husbands depression had spiralled into alcohol, medication and porn addiction. I have trolled the internet for answers and help and have come upon the subject of emotio... View more

Well here I am in the midst of trying to rebuild my marriage after discovering my husbands depression had spiralled into alcohol, medication and porn addiction. I have trolled the internet for answers and help and have come upon the subject of emotional abuse. All sites deal with the more severe aspects but what if the emotional abuse has been so subtle its almost undetectable? Its only been through reading up that I realise I have been a victim. Firstly, when he was home he pretty much ignored me then would turn up with flowers or buy me something expensive. He constantly made jokes about everything I said or did. If we were out he would ignore me and if I approached him or found ourselves face to face he'd laugh and say "you still here?" If I watched one of my TV programs he'd sit there through the whole thing making silly comments until I turned it off then he'd act all hurt and tell me he was only joking. Anything I wanted to do was quickly discarded in favour of an activity he preferred. While he was away from home he would send messages often with a derogatory pet name for me (boofhead was his favourite) He would ignore my requests to help with anything, never consider my feelings in decisions he made and made light of our situation when I tried to talk about his obvious alcohol abuse. Its taken me a lot to realise and admit to myself that I am a victim of emotional abuse and now I have yet another thing to add to the very long list of stuff for me to work through. Is there any hope at all?

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