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Hi I was wondering if anyone out there has experienced a damaging life change similar to mine which I can't seem to fully conquer. My parents turned to an extreme religion when I was a young teenager and uprooted me from my school and friends and basically my life. Eventually I left but it's caused an ongoing hurt that I can't escape it's affected my whole life as much as I try to forget about it and stay positive. I can't talk with other family as they just say get over it get on with it type of thing but it's a real struggle sometimes and lately I guess as I get older I think about it more. I've never had closure as my mum died and my father is a selfish nut who has never helped me and abandoned me. I don't seek sympathy I've never posted on here I have always been very independent made lots of mistakes from trying to know how to be in this world when my growing mind and love of the world was ripped away at a young age. It's difficult to explain and those who I should be able to talk to aren't interested but I wonder if there is anyone out there who can relate. Thankyou
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Dear Tazzy71~
Welcome here ot the support forum, I think it may be able to help as if you look around you will find others when have had great problems wiht parents and religion driving them apart.
It is no use anyone saying 'get over it' or 'move on'. It does not work that way. It is a part buried deep in your life and for good or bad will have an effect - though that can end up positive.
My parents had religion (my father a Anglican priest) and bot were very religious and status conscious. When young I though this normal and it was only later when I started not to do what the wished I found the family was not bound together by love, but by parents expecting a child to be an extension of themselves.
It came to a head when I decided to marry someone they regarded as 'unsuitable' and I ended up formally disinherited. Actually they did me a favor. I lived wiht that 'unsuitable' peron happily in love until a long time later when she passed away.
The thing that still is hard to accept many years later is the lack of love, putting their "standards" before a person one should have loved and needed love, as any child does..
I did say it could have a positive influence and it did. It gave me an example of what not to do. Love is more important, as is kindness and tolerance. To see one's children as persons in their own right and not expect them to always agree or do what one would prefer.
While I still resent my parents I also feel sorry for them stuck in a set of rigorous forces that left them alone and unloved. It is a sad thing that persons who lived such a life that when they pass away none feel a sense of loss.
I don't think closure, at least for me, consists of being 'at peace' wiht the matter, or even giving forgiveness. It is more the ability to reflect on how despite hurt it has helped me.
Croix
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Thankyou