Experiencing Domestic Violence as a 16 Year Old (DV Trigger-warning)

[Lusky]

Hi, this is my first thread

I honestly don't know how to put this so I'll just type. Last year I had witnessed my dad physically abuse my mother, this was the only time this has ever happened. It has been since around 2011 when he first started verbally abusing but up until late last year he finally "went over the edge" since then I've gone to get professional help which resulted in me being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and MDD. Prior to all of this I've had anxiety as I'm still in school and I'm so worried that I won't be able to achieve what I need to do what I want in the future. With school coming back in again in a few more days my anxiety has come up again. I feel lost and I have no idea what to do my usual coping mechanism would be self harm or drinking. However, tonight, or this morning I suppose I decided to come to this forum to see what would happen. I guess I've here to vent to anybody. From these events I feel guilt from not being able to stop what happened and for having my dad arrested. As a family we no longer live together and I stay with my mother. I'm finding it hard to even think about contacting my dad. I have no idea what I'd even say to him, what's worse is that he's not remorseful for his actions which hurts so much. All I ever wanted to do in my short amount of teen years was make him proud but now I can only see the evil in him. I have no idea how to approach communication with him and I don't want him to cut me off.

That's all for now, thanks.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lusky,

We are so grateful you have felt brave enough to share your journey with us here in the beyondblue community.  We're sorry that things have been so difficult for you but want you to know that we are here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need. Our Support Service are trying to reach you via email.  Check back in and let us know how you're going when you feel up to it. Thank you for sharing and hope the night got a little better for you. 

[geoff]

Hello Lusky, and a warm welcome to the forums.

I am just so sorry that you have had to experience this happening and have had to see your father in a different way, this is not only upsetting but very disappointing.

Can I suggest as well as what Sophie_M has said a couple of other people you can talk to:

-Kids Helplne 1800 55 1800

-Sane ‎1800 187 263

-Reachout online

-Headspace 1800 650 890

All of these have trained counsellors who dress in casual clothes which may make it easier for you to talk with.

Before you contact your dad if that's your intention, can I suggest that you have some counselling first because you can't be sure what type of reaction you will get, you need to build some strength from what may happen because this will provide you with coping mechanism to all sorts of reactions you may receive.

We hope to hear back from you and please ask any queries that you may have, we'd be happy to help you.

Take care.

Geoff.