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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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bron30 Recent trigger
  • replies: 1

This is my first post here and I’m nervous. I’ve recently had a major trigger for my PTSD. About three weeks ago. Before that, I was managing so well. I was getting on with life. and now I am so stuck. I sought out a new psychologist for this directl... View more

This is my first post here and I’m nervous. I’ve recently had a major trigger for my PTSD. About three weeks ago. Before that, I was managing so well. I was getting on with life. and now I am so stuck. I sought out a new psychologist for this directly as in the past ive only been through grief counselling. She says I’ve spent my life avoiding my trauma. I’ve been putting it away. And now as a result of this recent trigger I am feeling IT ALL. I don’t know how to cope with this much emotion. I am being reckless and impulsive. I’m spending all my money, I’m driving my car like a maniac, I’m chatting to random men in dating apps. I hooked up with a man impulsively last weekend, my first sexual encounter since my assault. I don’t know how to deal with this in a healthy way. I know therapy is a good start but I still feel like im drowning.

Mil How to know if something I vaguely "remember" really happened?
  • replies: 13

Hi, Disclaimer: I'm not pretending to be suffering from PTSD or trauma, nor am I implying that anyone else but me might have "fabricated" memories. I'm posting this here because I know in some cases traumatic memories can be "buried" so I suppose the... View more

Hi, Disclaimer: I'm not pretending to be suffering from PTSD or trauma, nor am I implying that anyone else but me might have "fabricated" memories. I'm posting this here because I know in some cases traumatic memories can be "buried" so I suppose there are techniques to recover them or ways to deal with "not knowing" that could be shared in this space. I trust the admins to move the post if it isn't in the right place and apologise if anyone feels offended by this. This is difficult and I'm only writing about it because this forum is anonymous. I have disturbing "memories" that I am questioning. Something might have happened between my half-brother and me when I was (I think) around 8 - he would have been around 13 then. I'm questioning it because my brother is a good person and because I have always had a very active imagination, vivid dreams and unfortunately I did lie often as a kid (nothing bad though, I can't remember ever making up a story to get someone in trouble). There's also the fact that I can remember thinking about sexual things from a pretty early age, so it's not impossible that I would have "invented" the events. I generally have a pretty poor memory - I don't remember a lot from my early years and I am known to forget entire conversions, or remember them incorrectly. I know it isn't unusual for childhood memories to get embellished/amplified/distorted etc. and that "fake memories" are a thing. On the other side, why would I make such things up? I've always admired my brother. We weren't very close until my later teen years because of the age difference. My parents did once say I was a bit in his shadow and that I sort of got out of my shell when he left for university. I've never felt this way though. The "memories" don't include any physical coercion and aren't horrific. I can only remember two instances. They are vague around the act in itself but also entail very specific details, just like other childhood memories that are true for sure. So how to know if this was real??? Do I even need to know given that I don't suffer from any major disorder, "only" from mild anxiety and low self-esteem? Wouldn't I be way more messed up if it was true? But what if this is just waiting to blow up in my face? And if it's not true, does it mean I'm a really disturbed pathological liar and don't even know it? I feel physically horrible writing these things. Can hypnosis help? Has anyone here tried it for a similar problem?

PurpleHair Living in domestic violence while suffered from anxiety and depression
  • replies: 1

First I apologise for my English and I’m writing this from my phone. I am from South America and I’m with an australian guy. We’ve been quite a while together and sometimes we have really bad fights that triggers my anxiety and I think that triggers ... View more

First I apologise for my English and I’m writing this from my phone. I am from South America and I’m with an australian guy. We’ve been quite a while together and sometimes we have really bad fights that triggers my anxiety and I think that triggers his anger, at first in the middle off the fight he used to hold me really tight amd chocked me (he does bjj) and put his hand on my mouth, he keep doing it harder and harder while my anxiety keep growing until one day i had to bite his finger because I couldn’t breathe and he hit me in the eye, leaving me with a black eye. last week he came semi drunk at 3am demanding things while i was trying to sleep, he started to fight and I got a panic attack and i went for water the next thing i know is that I’m in the floor being kick and chocked while I scream “let me go”. I am truly depressed and anxious and scared every time he treated me, I feel there’s anything I can do. I’m on partner visa and I can’t just simply leave. I’m scared to file for domestic violence and loose my visa because he decided not to be the person he was. I don’t know what to do I’m so tired. Even we try couples therapy and I don’t know how he made the therapists feel empty after hearing all this violence and made himself looked like a hero. My eyes were just screaming “help”,

Free-Willy Meh! What a nightmare ! just dreaming? Can someone tell me this is planet Earth? and not hell?
  • replies: 3

July 2017 to present..... Diagnosed ADHD, made bankrupt by default (solvent at time) former aggravated girlfriend insisted revenge, requests to see me seven days after she made me involuntary bankrupt. Set's me up, I am beaten by two men, 9 days in h... View more

July 2017 to present..... Diagnosed ADHD, made bankrupt by default (solvent at time) former aggravated girlfriend insisted revenge, requests to see me seven days after she made me involuntary bankrupt. Set's me up, I am beaten by two men, 9 days in hospital and now PTSD and default bankrupt. Two weeks afterwards whilst in recovery at parents home mum refuses to access to my medicine, mum calls police, same police arrive as the ones from before, further denied rights charged and discriminated by police, left homeless, AVO and three charges, family eventually apologize for calling police. Asked to work for my father ("Move forward son, forget the past") As I could not bare the thought of my former girlfriend obtaining dividends via my trustee/wage and knows the whereabouts and if I refrain from giving these details I could be arrested. I accept work on the conditions that my father save my income in a separate account. As a result, a year and 1 week later, I exercise my writ to my savings, father/employer dismisses me after an internal work issue (Unfairly dismissed) now father / employer denies my writ, I am left again helpless and homeless, this time a relative mediates a settlement with my family to start a new life in Italy. My personal belongings are shipped over on an agreed settlement that my funds a transferred to me whilst there, in hopes of marriage and a new beginning. Settlement terms not met, I suffer under financial duress, then involved in severe accident, further injuries added. Arrive in Australia, 6th June 2019, under financial duress accept work with father, exercise my right to wages, employer father takes away my writ this time I am stranded and left worse than before. All family abandon to help at the behest of parents. Justice for employment and bankruptcy law seems an impossible reach, exhausted, isolated and suffering with max anxiety levels. PTSD, ADHD, depression, nerve damage, general care and inability to explain my situation so someone can understand this nightmare in hopes of not being admitted to a mental unit having been abused inside before. Is this a nightmare? Is this planet Earth? Is this normal? Will this abuse stop? NOT suicidal, BUT hey, DREAD another day WAKING UP IN HELL.

Zol Advice for my father who suffers from PTSD
  • replies: 3

So... my father suffers from PTSD as he is a former soldier. he has been going though some tought times with my mother, constantly arguing yada yada and he doesnt want to open up to anyone besides me, but thats a challenge in itself. he went to see a... View more

So... my father suffers from PTSD as he is a former soldier. he has been going though some tought times with my mother, constantly arguing yada yada and he doesnt want to open up to anyone besides me, but thats a challenge in itself. he went to see a psychologist a few weeks back and he didnt even talk about the issue at hand and only did it to make me happy (according to my sister anyway) he doesnt ask for helparound the house and then blames everyone else for not doing everything despite the fact we keep him alive in the first place, and he used to be abusive because "he cant control his anger" which is outright garbage, however he has stopped such behaviour when i turned 17 (18 next january and im much bigger then him) but to my udnerstanding he still yells at my mother and sister when im out. What can i do to help him and what course of action should i take?

EmPTSD Trying to downplay the 'rape' that happened to me
  • replies: 14

First time posting so please bare with me. Warning, could have triggers for those who have been raped. So last august, long story short, I met up with a man i barely knew to help him through some of his own issues, only to find out he had lured me th... View more

First time posting so please bare with me. Warning, could have triggers for those who have been raped. So last august, long story short, I met up with a man i barely knew to help him through some of his own issues, only to find out he had lured me there so he could sexually assault me. I have since been diagnosed with PTSD and the police have labelled me as a rape victim/survivor. I am struggling with this. I feel like that horrible label doesnt fit with what happened to me. I regularly have flashbacks, anxiety attacks and go into a hyper-vigilant state on a daily basis, but i still dont believe what I have gone through justifies that label. i am really struggling with this in my head. I know what happened is, in the eyes of the law, worse than someone inappropriately touching me but i dont feel that it is as bad as other forms of sexual assault. Am i being stupid and trying to downplay what happened or am i justified in my thoughts??

SallyM Supporting a friend with PSTD
  • replies: 10

I am been supporting a friend with PSTD for the last 8 months. Much of this have actually been happy times for us as friends and valued by both. At times my support and care was valued and at times clung too. Its always been a fine line between provi... View more

I am been supporting a friend with PSTD for the last 8 months. Much of this have actually been happy times for us as friends and valued by both. At times my support and care was valued and at times clung too. Its always been a fine line between providing the support and giving space. The PSTD has been compounded by a housing issue for which there is no current resolution. He has received specialised counselling since last August but referrals to a psychiatrist have been slow and the first appointment is for next week. He was prescribed anti depressants in late October and they appeared to allow him to function and even have some happy times but he was unable to sleep. In a series of disappointments for him he went off his medication for a week and resulted in a change of medication, this time leaving him sleepy, irritable and totally fixed on his problem. He has been angry at me for this time and now believes the care and support I have offered do nothing to help him. Over the period he has pushed back on me 4 times, in person, in phone conversation and now in text which have caused me some distress but I also understand the person I valued has a mental health problem of significance. Each time he has wanted contact but reduced its scope. Face to face went to phone only, we reached a point in December/January were we did both. 3 weeks ago he told me the conversations that once gave him happiness now caused him pain and he didn't have the strength to talk. Last evening he pushed away from the texts. "Kind words would not help is situation". I am aware he has pushed others away and then been critical of them for a lack of support. He has always been remorseful after the the upsetting , angry times. I don't want to be the one who walks away and at the same time don't want this to cause me pain. I cut the conversation off last night with an ok, Have a good evening rather than cause any further damage to either. I have read many of the threads on what to say . They haven't worked.The kindness and care is simply rejected as being of no use although he is grateful. I would appreciate some guidance on how and if to continue contact during these times, knowing that the needed help is at hand but it may also take some time.

Elizabeth CP Exposure therapy & EDMR
  • replies: 13

I have been referred to someone to have exposure therapy & EDMR for PTSD. I am wondering if others have experience of this and what t is like.

I have been referred to someone to have exposure therapy & EDMR for PTSD. I am wondering if others have experience of this and what t is like.

HollowMan84 Laying it all out
  • replies: 1

Hey people some time has passed since i recently posted her on this forum. things have changed as i have learned about things im going through My mother and step father are violent narcissists and due to that i am experiencing PTSD.. due to my sympto... View more

Hey people some time has passed since i recently posted her on this forum. things have changed as i have learned about things im going through My mother and step father are violent narcissists and due to that i am experiencing PTSD.. due to my symptoms i have come out to some good online friends and my real life system that i am Bi-Gender switch from Male to Female and backwards. due to the fact i require my family for help with my illnesses.. and due to there constant abuse i have learned helplessness.. meaning i cannot leave until i hit a breaking point and that it ties in with trauma bonding. my health is getting worse but i am seeing a physiotherapist for my Narrowing of the spine and Body Facet Joint Arthritus [Hands, Feet, Knees, Back] i have generalized anxiety disorder [managing well without meds] and Clinical Depression which if i get fully looked into i fear may be bi-polar. i am currently battling my health being immune compromised has its issues, Serious Chronic Fatigue, vital organs under attack + more my next step is to get the courage to get over my fear of being forever institutionalized and seeing a mental therapist. i am ... somewhat happy.. and happy to answer anyquestions .. i feel even though i get depressed.. sometimes dysphoric when my mental gender is female i am doing good and slowly enjoying life again.. unfortunately i have been slammed with a DSP Esat as i have had issues getting work in two years.. people love me they do a work trial with me for 4 weeks under the false hope of employment then BAM! sorry just no money to hire you atm, keep in touch bye! rinse and repeat.. anyway.. cheerio

Tom63 Ready to just give up
  • replies: 7

I will try to make this as brief as I can, I am 55 years old , I was shunted of to boarding school at 12 years old, for 12 whole months I was sexually abused, I have been diagnosed with major depression anxiety and PTSD , I have recently undergone su... View more

I will try to make this as brief as I can, I am 55 years old , I was shunted of to boarding school at 12 years old, for 12 whole months I was sexually abused, I have been diagnosed with major depression anxiety and PTSD , I have recently undergone surgery for some of the trauma caused and require more surgery in the next 6 months, I have already been through one court case with the perpetrator and coming up in February I have a two week trial, just before my surgery I had a complete melt down , the only satisfaction I ever got and could lose myself in was my garden, well the neighbor destroyed my prize bush rose absolutely destroyed it that was 2 years ago, so I started again this time moving it away from our combined fence, and two days before my surgery he done the same thing, this time I hadn’t taken my meds for two days and was very scared and anxious about the operation. I completely had an extreme melt down, and went next door, I am now up on assault charges also resistance of arrest, I was then taken to a psychiatric unit for 3 days and just triggered me more as it felt like being dropped off at boarding school again. People say to me it was just a rose bush , to me my garden has been my therapy, I love sitting with my wife and watching my grandsons play , like I said it is more than a rose bush , I’ve tried and my wife has tried and my gp has tried to get help for me , my first psychiatrist put me in the to hard basket and dumped me, and I have just managed to secure a appointment with a psychologist. But for me I’m completely broken I just want to fade away , I cry most everyday and can’t sleep at night. I am at my witts end done, 45 years of this has broken me , I have nothing left , and the more I try the worse it seems to get. I’m so so sorry for the long message, and this is just a part of what’s happening in my life , once again I’m sorry for the long message..