Recent trigger

[bron30]

This is my first post here and I’m nervous.

I’ve recently had a major trigger for my PTSD. About three weeks ago. Before that, I was managing so well. I was getting on with life. and now I am so stuck.

I sought out a new psychologist for this directly as in the past ive only been through grief counselling. She says I’ve spent my life avoiding my trauma. I’ve been putting it away. And now as a result of this recent trigger I am feeling IT ALL.

I don’t know how to cope with this much emotion. I am being reckless and impulsive. I’m spending all my money, I’m driving my car like a maniac, I’m chatting to random men in dating apps. I hooked up with a man impulsively last weekend, my first sexual encounter since my assault. I don’t know how to deal with this in a healthy way. I know therapy is a good start but I still feel like im drowning.

[Marie_W]

Hi bron30,

First of all, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. It's completely understandable that you are nervous to post for the first time. I hope this will be a place where you will be able to get some support from others and know that you are not alone.

It sounds like this recent trigger for your PTSD has really upset your life and caused you to feel incredibly overwhelmed. I'm hearing that you are not sure how to cope with this flood of emotions. From what your psychologist says, it could perhaps be that you have been able to avoid processing past trauma and so may not have been able to develop healthy coping strategies for when these emotions surface. Have I understood that correctly?

I just wanted to highlight that it seems like you have been really proactive in seeking support around this recent trigger - both in reaching out here on the forums and also finding a new psychologist. It's great that you've taken these steps, as it's not always easy to ask for help. Is it okay to ask whether you have found the sessions with the psychologist beneficial? Would you feel comfortable talking to her about some of the things that are concerning you (like your driving and money-spending)?

Looking forward to hearing from you if you would like to respond.

- Marie (: