PTSD and Trauma

Supporting a friend with PSTD

replies: 10

I am been supporting a friend with PSTD for the last 8 months. Much of this have actually been happy times for us as friends and valued by both. At times my support and care was valued and at times clung too. Its always been a fine line between provi... View more

I am been supporting a friend with PSTD for the last 8 months. Much of this have actually been happy times for us as friends and valued by both. At times my support and care was valued and at times clung too. Its always been a fine line between providing the support and giving space. The PSTD has been compounded by a housing issue for which there is no current resolution. He has received specialised counselling since last August but referrals to a psychiatrist have been slow and the first appointment is for next week. He was prescribed anti depressants in late October and they appeared to allow him to function and even have some happy times but he was unable to sleep. In a series of disappointments for him he went off his medication for a week and resulted in a change of medication, this time leaving him sleepy, irritable and totally fixed on his problem. He has been angry at me for this time and now believes the care and support I have offered do nothing to help him. Over the period he has pushed back on me 4 times, in person, in phone conversation and now in text which have caused me some distress but I also understand the person I valued has a mental health problem of significance. Each time he has wanted contact but reduced its scope. Face to face went to phone only, we reached a point in December/January were we did both. 3 weeks ago he told me the conversations that once gave him happiness now caused him pain and he didn't have the strength to talk. Last evening he pushed away from the texts. "Kind words would not help is situation". I am aware he has pushed others away and then been critical of them for a lack of support. He has always been remorseful after the the upsetting , angry times. I don't want to be the one who walks away and at the same time don't want this to cause me pain. I cut the conversation off last night with an ok, Have a good evening rather than cause any further damage to either. I have read many of the threads on what to say . They haven't worked.The kindness and care is simply rejected as being of no use although he is grateful. I would appreciate some guidance on how and if to continue contact during these times, knowing that the needed help is at hand but it may also take some time.

Exposure therapy & EDMR

replies: 13

I have been referred to someone to have exposure therapy & EDMR for PTSD. I am wondering if others have experience of this and what t is like.

Laying it all out

replies: 1

Hey people some time has passed since i recently posted her on this forum. things have changed as i have learned about things im going through My mother and step father are violent narcissists and due to that i am experiencing PTSD.. due to my sympto... View more

Hey people some time has passed since i recently posted her on this forum. things have changed as i have learned about things im going through My mother and step father are violent narcissists and due to that i am experiencing PTSD.. due to my symptoms i have come out to some good online friends and my real life system that i am Bi-Gender switch from Male to Female and backwards. due to the fact i require my family for help with my illnesses.. and due to there constant abuse i have learned helplessness.. meaning i cannot leave until i hit a breaking point and that it ties in with trauma bonding. my health is getting worse but i am seeing a physiotherapist for my Narrowing of the spine and Body Facet Joint Arthritus [Hands, Feet, Knees, Back] i have generalized anxiety disorder [managing well without meds] and Clinical Depression which if i get fully looked into i fear may be bi-polar. i am currently battling my health being immune compromised has its issues, Serious Chronic Fatigue, vital organs under attack + more my next step is to get the courage to get over my fear of being forever institutionalized and seeing a mental therapist. i am ... somewhat happy.. and happy to answer anyquestions .. i feel even though i get depressed.. sometimes dysphoric when my mental gender is female i am doing good and slowly enjoying life again.. unfortunately i have been slammed with a DSP Esat as i have had issues getting work in two years.. people love me they do a work trial with me for 4 weeks under the false hope of employment then BAM! sorry just no money to hire you atm, keep in touch bye! rinse and repeat.. anyway.. cheerio

Ready to just give up

replies: 7

I will try to make this as brief as I can, I am 55 years old , I was shunted of to boarding school at 12 years old, for 12 whole months I was sexually abused, I have been diagnosed with major depression anxiety and PTSD , I have recently undergone su... View more

I will try to make this as brief as I can, I am 55 years old , I was shunted of to boarding school at 12 years old, for 12 whole months I was sexually abused, I have been diagnosed with major depression anxiety and PTSD , I have recently undergone surgery for some of the trauma caused and require more surgery in the next 6 months, I have already been through one court case with the perpetrator and coming up in February I have a two week trial, just before my surgery I had a complete melt down , the only satisfaction I ever got and could lose myself in was my garden, well the neighbor destroyed my prize bush rose absolutely destroyed it that was 2 years ago, so I started again this time moving it away from our combined fence, and two days before my surgery he done the same thing, this time I hadn’t taken my meds for two days and was very scared and anxious about the operation. I completely had an extreme melt down, and went next door, I am now up on assault charges also resistance of arrest, I was then taken to a psychiatric unit for 3 days and just triggered me more as it felt like being dropped off at boarding school again. People say to me it was just a rose bush , to me my garden has been my therapy, I love sitting with my wife and watching my grandsons play , like I said it is more than a rose bush , I’ve tried and my wife has tried and my gp has tried to get help for me , my first psychiatrist put me in the to hard basket and dumped me, and I have just managed to secure a appointment with a psychologist. But for me I’m completely broken I just want to fade away , I cry most everyday and can’t sleep at night. I am at my witts end done, 45 years of this has broken me , I have nothing left , and the more I try the worse it seems to get. I’m so so sorry for the long message, and this is just a part of what’s happening in my life , once again I’m sorry for the long message..

Overwhelmed and unsure

replies: 2

My name is Amy, I am 25 years old and am a university student. I have battled anxiety and depression since my childhood. I feel it's gotten worse after my late father became verbally/emotionally abusive towards me and I was betrayed by my older siste... View more

My name is Amy, I am 25 years old and am a university student. I have battled anxiety and depression since my childhood. I feel it's gotten worse after my late father became verbally/emotionally abusive towards me and I was betrayed by my older sister after she got married. She said vicious things about my mum and me to please her husband and in-laws, stole money from my mum, lied on multiple occasions and tried to turn us (me and mum) against each other. This betrayal affected me physically and emotionally for two to three years after I moved out with my mother. And it still does until now. I reunited with my sister in February 2019 as she experienced domestic violence by her husband since the beginning of their marriage. I have tried to take things slowly with her by spending time with her and her one year old son. Yet she is frequently dishonest, makes excuses to avoid acknowledging her mistakes and neglecting her responsibilities as a mother. Whenever me or my mum confront her about her behaviour, she ignores us and pretends that we never spoke about it or complains that we are "upsetting her or trying to anger her". There are days that I can't stand being with her in the same room and I have to say that "I am busy" or that "I am okay" to avoid any confrontations from her. I have tried to talk with my mum and closest friend about my feelings. Yet I feel that I have burdened them as I have been very overwhelmed and constantly complained to them about my anxiety and depression. I have told my mum on multiple occasions that I want to seek counselling to overcome my feelings yet she always tells me that "they can't help you or resolve your issues". She also tells me to not talk about it as she is already distressed about the situation and that so long as I pray that things will get better. I have frequently prayed everyday that my sister's behaviour would improve. But I'm beginning to lose hope that it will happen. I have given up on talking to my mum and friends about my feelings. And I end up crying alone whilst I keep myself busy or when I'm sleeping. For the past few weeks, the feelings have gotten worse and I don't know how to cope anymore.

Intense implicit flashback? don't know what to do, tried online counseling chat but no one was there

replies: 3

I am not in danger, I'm not suicidal and I'm not going to/hurting myself. I just need to get this out and talk to someone who will actually recognise how serious this is. I'm just having a really really really bad time and need to talk to someone but... View more

I am not in danger, I'm not suicidal and I'm not going to/hurting myself. I just need to get this out and talk to someone who will actually recognise how serious this is. I'm just having a really really really bad time and need to talk to someone but am nonverbal while it's going on, therefore can only talk online. Also can't video chat, i just can't deal with anything sensory right now. It's also why I have problems with grounding techniques. I'm not dissociating during flashbacks, and am extremely hyperaware/sensitive so being made to focus on more sensory information like smell/sound/breathing/another person is horrible. The current issue is that I've recently had some things brought to light, and though I have had positive outcomes from them immediately, I think it's caused this current body (implicit) flashback. The main cause I can identify is that there's possibly been a build up subconsciously as I have believed that I am dealing with everything quite well, while actually not pursuing adequate responses/acknowledgement (from professionals and support network) and therefore unaware of just how much is being silenced. recent events have further pushed me to consciously ignore the reality of how I'm feeling, but it's too much. I'm really worried at how bad I am feeling. It's like a huge spiral wasn't being acknowledged then went out of control. I'm feeling so horrible, shaking, nauseous and just so frantic but I don't know why except that the actual ordeal of the last few weeks has been minimised over and over- a running theme, my whole life- and i keep not saying or mentally accepting how bad I've been feeling. and I'm subconsciously feeling worse and worse until now it's just exploded. The last few weeks have been so bad, because I don't know how I'm supposed to process any of it and people are saying "take it easy " but have acted normally so i felt like I have had to do the same. Yet not a single person I've spoken to is behaving like they get how serious this has been. I can't figure out why that bothers me. It's not anyone's fault or responsibility or obligation to have anything to do with this and I don't understand my feelings about that. I dont want sympathy or coddling, I hate being told to slow down. But I think that is because the physical/visible side isn't the issue and I feel like everything that's happened is being completely ignored. (1/2)

My alcoholic father

replies: 6

I hope this is the right space to post this. For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an alcoholic. When he drinks, he becomes loud, he yells, he takes everything out on my mum, he says mean things, and he slams doors. This is ‘normal’ to me. I... View more

I hope this is the right space to post this. For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an alcoholic. When he drinks, he becomes loud, he yells, he takes everything out on my mum, he says mean things, and he slams doors. This is ‘normal’ to me. It’s how things always have been. It’s really affecting my anxiety. My partner and I live away, but if I’m not with my parents I spend all my time worrying about how my dad is treating my mum. When I am at my parents home, I spend all my time anxious about when he’s next going to yell at my mum. I was anxious last night and had difficulty sleeping while with my partner. I woke up at 2am, and texted my mum at 3am asking if she was ok. Because my dad is in a mood again and has been yelling at my mum. I couldn’t get to sleep again for a couple of hours, because I had a bad feeling as to why she hadn’t replied the night before. When she responded at 9am this morning she told me my dad had argued/yelled at her from 10pm-3am when he went to bed. I spoke to someone a week ago on BeyondBlue chat, and also 1800Respect live chat. They both said it was domestic violence, which I hadn’t considered before. I know what he does isn’t right, but I hadn’t considered it to be abusive until now. But it is. Now that i have this information I’m not sure what to do to stop it. My mum told me my brother has been trying to stand up to him but then my dad told my mum he wanted my brother to die. I feel like they hate each other. Living with my parents or living away and not knowing what’s going on brings me anxiety. I have no other options! I don’t know what to do!

Affect on relationships after emotional and mental abuse

replies: 5

Hi there, 2 years ago I was finally able to exit an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship that carried on for 7 years. Around the same time I was diagnosed with ADD. My female friends were supportive of me leaving my abuser however the entire soc... View more

Hi there, 2 years ago I was finally able to exit an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship that carried on for 7 years. Around the same time I was diagnosed with ADD. My female friends were supportive of me leaving my abuser however the entire social group carried on like nothing had ever happened. Despite attempting to articulate my feelings, my friends could not understand that his presence and continued association, no matter how small, was harmful to me, and took my absence personally. Long story short the friendships fractured and I lost my social circle. I am not sure how to explain the breakdown in relationships to other mutual friends. I neither wish to vilify my old friends or make myself look like a victim. Also bringing up the aspect of abuse seems to make people VERY uncomfortable and they shut down. I am lucky to have a great partner but without my friends I do feel very lonely at times, having lost my social circle. I feel very broken and misunderstood. No to mention the confusion trying to decipher which actions of mine are due to trauma behaviours or ADD symptoms. The lack of support and losing my friendship circle post abuse has honestly been just as painful, perhaps even worse than the abuse itself and there seems to be very little literature about how to cope with this scenario. It seems to assume that your friends will choose you over the abuser and rally to your support.

Struggling to cope knowing brother brutally murdered ex-girlfriend

replies: 9

Hi, I am new to online forums so I am not sure where to start. I have been working hard for the last 20 years to recover from a childhood of neglect and emotional abuse, and it’s consequences including severe anxiety and depression. In some ways I am... View more

Hi, I am new to online forums so I am not sure where to start. I have been working hard for the last 20 years to recover from a childhood of neglect and emotional abuse, and it’s consequences including severe anxiety and depression. In some ways I am doing okay now - I am married and have a son and getting back into some work after 5 years raising my son (and dealing with post natal depression and anxiety). But I struggle with a dark family secret - 10 years ago my brother brutally raped and murdered his ex girlfriend. I feel such intense shame and anger and sadness. I didn’t have a close relationship with my brother growing up (he was quite a selfish and cruel older brother). I haven’t visited him in prison because I feel too overwhelmed with anger towards him. I have spoken to psychologists over the years and it has help quite a lot. But I am really seeking a way to share the struggles with others who are in a similar situation...It is hard to talk to friends about this due to the shame attached. I keep going over in my head what he did to his ex girlfriend - and how he has shattered the lives of her family and friends.

My story relating to complex ptsd and severe dysthymia

replies: 7

Hi all, my name is Adam and i am 34 yrs old. Been wanting to post for a while now. I haven't worked now for 10 months due to mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and severe dysthymia. I also suffer from ocd and have had a psychogenic o... View more

Hi all, my name is Adam and i am 34 yrs old. Been wanting to post for a while now. I haven't worked now for 10 months due to mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and severe dysthymia. I also suffer from ocd and have had a psychogenic often severe stutter since age 9. Between the ages of 8-16 my then stepfather was extremely abusive and aggressive to my mum, myself and my bro and sis. I suffered extreme physical, mental and psychological abuse on a daily basis for 8 yrs. I pretended for 20 years that i was ok even tho i knew i was drowning in severe anxiety and depression. Working is and has always been extremely difficult for me as i am so easily triggered. I have only seeked a psychiatrist a few months ago and i am going to a new one next month. I am going to apply for the dsp when i get a psychiatrist who i am comfortable with and willing to assist me. I have become extremely well educated re the dsp. Thankyou for reading. I am looking to hopefully meet some new friends on here

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PTSD for Medical and First Responders

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