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PTSD and trauma

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Bstrong Husband had me have sex with guys for money when he was out of work. Now I’m struggling with me..
  • replies: 6

I’m so very embarrassed to be putting this out there for all to read but I need help. I need advice because I couldn’t even talk about this to a psychologist I was seeing at the time. I can’t forgive my husband for putting me through that horrible ex... View more

I’m so very embarrassed to be putting this out there for all to read but I need help. I need advice because I couldn’t even talk about this to a psychologist I was seeing at the time. I can’t forgive my husband for putting me through that horrible experience but at the time I agreed to do it to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table for our family. I HATED every moment! I felt my husband was too lazy to really work at finding a job. Instead he took an easy way out FOR HIM and stood by while I slowly lost all my morals, my self respect, my self esteem. I could see no other way out of the financial mess we were in. But it destroyed me, it destroyed my soul. That was about 3-4yrs ago now. In that time I left my husband for a year because life at home became unbearable for me. My husband is a FIFO worker now and I was dealing with our Bipolar daughter and a whole heap of other issues alone. I’ve tried talking to him about that time and how I’m finding it so hard to believe a man who truly loves and cherishes his wife would have her do such a thing! All he’s done is say he’s sorry and then brushes it aside. But I find I can’t forgive him. Am I being unreasonable? He makes me feel like I’m overreacting but it DESTROYED me! I want to leave him again but I’m trapped. I’m over 50 with no job. I can’t support myself and can’t expect the friend who housed me for 12 months when I left before to support me again. They are the only friend I have. I’m well and truly trapped and just want to run away. I know this post is all over the shop. There is so much more to this story. I guess what I’m after is clarification that my feelings about that degrading time are valid and I’m not overreacting? My husband seems to act like I should just move on and get over it but he wasn’t the one doing what I had to do. He wasn’t left feeling like a disgusting desperate person. He doesn’t have the awful flashbacks I have. I try and forget it ever happened. I try and keep it buried so I don’t have to think about it but I think I almost hate my husband for putting me through it all. My life is sad. So so sad.

danver_1 Strategies to reduce addiction
  • replies: 1

Plenty of y'all know that there is scientific evidence to support the link between trauma and abuse. I have been a sufferer of addiction, not substance but addicted to other things like, replaying an imaginary or real scenario over and over and over ... View more

Plenty of y'all know that there is scientific evidence to support the link between trauma and abuse. I have been a sufferer of addiction, not substance but addicted to other things like, replaying an imaginary or real scenario over and over and over again There isnt just substance addiction but addiction can manifest itself even in the smallest things in life What are some strategies to overcome this?

Beth_co Do I have what it takes to fight the good fight?
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone I've lived on adrenaline my whole life without knowing it until my mind broke. I had to learn how to slow down, rest and be calm. I've become so good at it though, life just passes me by while I waste away in my lonely home. What happened... View more

Hi everyone I've lived on adrenaline my whole life without knowing it until my mind broke. I had to learn how to slow down, rest and be calm. I've become so good at it though, life just passes me by while I waste away in my lonely home. What happened to the woman everyone knew would always step up to the plate when the proverbial stuff hit the fan? I'll tell you where she's gone; she's sitting on the bench! She's/I've forgotten how to fight. To be back in the game striving to win and make a difference hasn't been more important than now. I'm not 'there' for me! They say our MH needs calm, mindfulness and recovery. But what happens when recovery becomes habitual? Where's my passion gone? My will; my 'game'? I've fought the good fight to survive which meant healing my brain and learning who I am, who I've been and different ways to cope. It's worked like a dream. The kickback though has been addiction to isolation and laziness and, not a thought for who I want to be. I stood on my deck today with a cuppa questioning my decision to be this way. Sure, I'm safe and away from triggering influences, but at what cost? Something awful happened to my child and I didn't fight for him. I'll never come back from that. It seems I'm doing the same thing to myself. This is my conclusion. My once precious home has become my prison; items hoarded in rooms, untidy and even dirty. I'm ashamed. I started walking the deck; back and forth contemplating what to do. "Just move." came to mind. Getting back into the thick of it means risking my MH. Or does it? How far have I come? Enough to care about/for myself? What do you think?

Infinity1199 Introducing Myself
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, I know I'm not supposed to use my name so I'll introduce myself another way. My names Infinity, I'm a 19 year old gay male with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and Stress issues and now PTSD. I knew I had problems but I didn't realise my ... View more

Hi guys, I know I'm not supposed to use my name so I'll introduce myself another way. My names Infinity, I'm a 19 year old gay male with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and Stress issues and now PTSD. I knew I had problems but I didn't realise my nightmares, social isolation and hypervigilance were the result of something like PTSD, honestly I thought I'd be the last person to be diagnosed with it. I actually thought it was more diagnosed in patients with sexual assault history or people who'd been to war. I didn't think some homophobes bullying me through high school would cause me to have an unfortunately public, destructive meltdown but I guess it did. but for the past three years I've been doing everything I can to get my life on track. I started by re-entering school, trying to pass VCE and head to my dream degree. I've started practicing yoga in order to find some inner piece, I been trying to work out but health issues get in the way haha. I even came out and started dating, unfortunately both my relationships didn't work out. But I'm worried. lately I've been struggling to keep on the path and I'm worried I'm heading towards another breakdown. I need some advice...what should I do?

Guest5643 Fired from volunteer work
  • replies: 6

Its still so raw with me it only feels like yesterday. But i see a realy big funny side to it that only me and my dog could get fired from volunteer work. About 7ish yrs ago i joined a volunteer organization which starts off paintings for nursing hom... View more

Its still so raw with me it only feels like yesterday. But i see a realy big funny side to it that only me and my dog could get fired from volunteer work. About 7ish yrs ago i joined a volunteer organization which starts off paintings for nursing homes, mental health units ect to finish them. I don't know if im allowed to say the organizations name? For 1yr i put my absolute all into that place. They had become a family to me. I TRUSTED them. I was a very hard worker. Always arrived on time. Very corteous. I took my dog with me. My dog never got in the way. The boss lady became nasty the day i told her i was offered a housing commision place which i accepted. The boss lady said how selfish i was to accept a place when technicaly i had a roof over my head and i was taking it away from familys living in cars. She knew my abusive living situation i was in. She came to my house and fired me. This is why i will NEVER EVER do volunteer work again. Im telling this story in the very small chance someone else has been fired from volunteer work that there not alone.

GemAndLogan Left an abusive relationship! Finally!
  • replies: 9

Hey guys, I finally got the strength to leave a 9 year abusive relationship. I have never felt lighter! I am free! My relationship with my partner was physically and mentally abusive. He called me names, he pushed me, slapped me and even spat on me a... View more

Hey guys, I finally got the strength to leave a 9 year abusive relationship. I have never felt lighter! I am free! My relationship with my partner was physically and mentally abusive. He called me names, he pushed me, slapped me and even spat on me a couple of times. He put me in hospital twice. He always put me down, he manipulated me, he lied to me and cheated on me. Pretty much the relationship from hell and yet I loved him so much (crazy right?) He is a drug addict and that is what I always blamed for his abusive behavior. I knew what he was doing was wrong but I stayed because I loved him and told myself it was the drugs not him that hurt me. I have always considered myself a strong, independent person so I hid what my partner did from everyone because I was ashamed of myself for letting him treat me that way, I was embarrassed and angry that it had gone on so long. After I finally started reaching out to people (starting with my gp) I was so lucky because instead of being judged (which is what I feared) everyone was so understanding and supportive. No one put pressure on me to leave because it was ultimately my decision but they let me know that they were there for me. I wasn't alone. My partner decided to not come home or answer his phone one weekend and I decided enough was enough, he didn't even respect me enough to answer my phone call yet we'd been together so long?! I knew then and there that it was never going to get better so I packed my stuff and my pets, cried a lot and then moved out. I have not shed a single tear since. I wanted to share this because it was so so so so hard for me to leave, the hardest thing I've ever done. But it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I didn't even realise that the relationship was consuming me and not in a good way. I thought about the things my partner did to me 24/7 and now I never think about that because I know it's over and will never happen to me again. If anyone else feels trapped in an abusive relationship please know that it only takes 5 minutes of courage to take that first step and tell someone. Tell a friend, a family member, your GP or any health care professional, reach out on this forum or send BB an email. You deserve to be respected, you deserve to be valued and you deserve to be happy! You can do this! Thanks BB!

_Alexa_ My story
  • replies: 1

Hithere, IthoughtI'dshareafewthingsheretohelpotherpeoplefeellesscrazywithinthemselvesbutalsoasawayofcontinuingmyhealingjourney. Igrewupinareasonablefamily. NowthatIknowalotmoreofmyfamily'sstoryandpastasanadult, I'dsaythatasachildIwasshelteredfromknow... View more

Hithere, IthoughtI'dshareafewthingsheretohelpotherpeoplefeellesscrazywithinthemselvesbutalsoasawayofcontinuingmyhealingjourney. Igrewupinareasonablefamily. NowthatIknowalotmoreofmyfamily'sstoryandpastasanadult, I'dsaythatasachildIwasshelteredfromknowingandbeingabletorecognisemanythings, whichI'mpartlygratefulforbuthavealsobeensoupsetby. Mydadgrewupwithallkindsofstrugglesandmymumlosthermumwhenshewas8or9. Mydadfeltmuchclosertomeasayoungchildandunfortunatelyourrelationshiphasonlygrowntobecomemorestrained. WhenIwas16/17, myparentsbegantoreallylettheirhairdownandarguealmostconstantly. Beingtheyoungestof4childrenandtheonlyoneleftathome, Iwasexposedtoalotofverbaltensionandmyheartbecamesaddened. IwantedtoreachoutforhelpasIdidn'tfeelIwascopingverywell (tryingtojuggleauniversitydegreeasayoungscholarshiprecipient) butmyparentstoldmeIcouldn'tasitwouldbringtoomuchshametothem. Iendedupgoingdownthegurglerandbecameavictimtoalotofisolationandsadness. Anyonewhohasexperiencedtraumaandabuse/neglectasaresultofunresolvedtensioninthefamilyhomewouldknowwhatitfeelsliketoseetwopeoplethatyouloveconstantlybickeringwitheachotherandnothelpingyoutofeelseenorheard. Iexperiencedpanicattacks, startedtoquestionthemeaningofeverythingandbasicallylostsightofmyowngoalsandpassion. Idroppedoutofuni, wasbeingfedconstantnegativeselftalk(lies)andunfortunatelygrewintoaverydetached,depravedanddisillusionedversionofmyself. Iwouldfeartalkingtopeople, evenbelievedthatIcouldn'ttalkandbasicallylosttheabilitytodomanysimplethings. Iwouldeat,shitandgobacktobed. Thatbecamemylife, andwhatmadeitworse, wasthatwheneverItriedreachingouttomysiblingsduringtheearlierstagesofmyparents'marriagebreakdown, IwasmadetofeelasthoughIwasmakingeverythingupandlargelyoverexaggeratingtheirsituation. I'vereallystruggledwithinmyselftoseeany/muchhopebecauseithasfeltlikebarelyanyonehascaredenoughtohelprevivemeandbelieveinme/mydreams. Ithasbeensohardtopickmyselfupbecausethedramahascontinuedforover6years. ImanagedtolearnalotaboutmyselfwhenImovedoutofhomebutlivingsofarawayhaditsownkindofnegatives. I'm now living in the same town as my parents again and struggle to get along with them. I feel that I became a subject to a lot of mistreatment and have always been very sensitive and tender hearted. Please, feel free to let me know if you can relate to any part/s of my journey and know that I am praying and believing for the best to come out of your story, too. Peace and beautiful vibes

Cybertron121 Contracted Pericarditis due to constant stress, anxiety and bullying at work - What should I do?
  • replies: 2

So, due to constant subtle ways of bullying or at least I perceived as bullying (I have a sensitive heart). I have been psychologically traumatized by everything what I have experienced. My emotions are all over the places and so are my thoughts. Som... View more

So, due to constant subtle ways of bullying or at least I perceived as bullying (I have a sensitive heart). I have been psychologically traumatized by everything what I have experienced. My emotions are all over the places and so are my thoughts. Some days I feel numb and other days I feel like crying a lot but jovial person I used to be like when I was working in a call centre environment. I want to sue but it might end up being a losing battle and I did nothing wrong. I have now contracted Pericarditis and struggling to fight it off as I have to take pills on a daily basis. I am not sure what to do?

fillepetale Am I over it? Or have I suppressed it? C-PTSD help - trigger warning.
  • replies: 6

New member, this is my first post. I'm not sure how to gather all my thoughts around this so please bare with me, this may be a lengthy post. I'm a 24/y F. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD, however I am apprehensive. From the age of 3-7 my father su... View more

New member, this is my first post. I'm not sure how to gather all my thoughts around this so please bare with me, this may be a lengthy post. I'm a 24/y F. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD, however I am apprehensive. From the age of 3-7 my father suffered through cancer and eventually died. I can't remember any of those years, I think I was too young. Since then I have experienced a long-term emotionally abusive relationship, and I have been raped. Most recently my housemate's passed away. I was home but I did not find him, and did not see his whole body. I was witness to the smell which stayed in the house for a long time. I was interviewed by police and had the misfortune of informing his friends of his death. My psychiatrist has deemed the death of my father and the change in family dynamic as a child, alongside other traumatic events, enough to diagnose me with C-PTSD. While on paper I appreciate that this may be true, I feel as though maybe I wasn't truely traumatised by any of these events? I have had moments of dissociation, depression, extreme anxiety and fear, but rarely and very few flashbacks, and I feel like my diagnosis of C-PTSD isn't valid because of the way my traumas have manifested?? I don't remember being raped as such, I remember seconds before and some moments after while being interviewed by police. But I don't remember the act of assault, which makes me question whether it was really that bad? I have no memory of my fathers death, barely any memory of the funeral, and no memories afterward until about the age of 9. Was it really that bad? Could it be impacting me now if I can't even remember? I barely remember the incident with my housemate, but I know that it impacted me emotionally for a while afterward. It was not a personal loss, I didn't find the body. I don't think that what I experienced was enough to traumatise me. Last night in a cab ride home, I was overwhelmed with the thought that I was about to be raped and killed, I had a panic attack and cried for an hour after I got home. I know this isn't normal behaviour. But I don't know what to do about it? If I choose to explore my traumas with my treatment team, do I run the risk of resurfacing memories and being traumatised again? Maybe it's better off that they stay forgotten. I need some advice.

Daniely PTSD
  • replies: 1

Hello I have PTSD by running and I am scared of fighting and dying. Can anyone give me some advise please. My PTSD is when I run and I have PTSD/ PANIC attack for a few minutes then I calm down, what should I do?

Hello I have PTSD by running and I am scared of fighting and dying. Can anyone give me some advise please. My PTSD is when I run and I have PTSD/ PANIC attack for a few minutes then I calm down, what should I do?