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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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NLY Intense implicit flashback? don't know what to do, tried online counseling chat but no one was there
  • replies: 3

I am not in danger, I'm not suicidal and I'm not going to/hurting myself. I just need to get this out and talk to someone who will actually recognise how serious this is. I'm just having a really really really bad time and need to talk to someone but... View more

I am not in danger, I'm not suicidal and I'm not going to/hurting myself. I just need to get this out and talk to someone who will actually recognise how serious this is. I'm just having a really really really bad time and need to talk to someone but am nonverbal while it's going on, therefore can only talk online. Also can't video chat, i just can't deal with anything sensory right now. It's also why I have problems with grounding techniques. I'm not dissociating during flashbacks, and am extremely hyperaware/sensitive so being made to focus on more sensory information like smell/sound/breathing/another person is horrible. The current issue is that I've recently had some things brought to light, and though I have had positive outcomes from them immediately, I think it's caused this current body (implicit) flashback. The main cause I can identify is that there's possibly been a build up subconsciously as I have believed that I am dealing with everything quite well, while actually not pursuing adequate responses/acknowledgement (from professionals and support network) and therefore unaware of just how much is being silenced. recent events have further pushed me to consciously ignore the reality of how I'm feeling, but it's too much. I'm really worried at how bad I am feeling. It's like a huge spiral wasn't being acknowledged then went out of control. I'm feeling so horrible, shaking, nauseous and just so frantic but I don't know why except that the actual ordeal of the last few weeks has been minimised over and over- a running theme, my whole life- and i keep not saying or mentally accepting how bad I've been feeling. and I'm subconsciously feeling worse and worse until now it's just exploded. The last few weeks have been so bad, because I don't know how I'm supposed to process any of it and people are saying "take it easy " but have acted normally so i felt like I have had to do the same. Yet not a single person I've spoken to is behaving like they get how serious this has been. I can't figure out why that bothers me. It's not anyone's fault or responsibility or obligation to have anything to do with this and I don't understand my feelings about that. I dont want sympathy or coddling, I hate being told to slow down. But I think that is because the physical/visible side isn't the issue and I feel like everything that's happened is being completely ignored. (1/2)

Puppies My alcoholic father
  • replies: 6

I hope this is the right space to post this. For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an alcoholic. When he drinks, he becomes loud, he yells, he takes everything out on my mum, he says mean things, and he slams doors. This is ‘normal’ to me. I... View more

I hope this is the right space to post this. For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an alcoholic. When he drinks, he becomes loud, he yells, he takes everything out on my mum, he says mean things, and he slams doors. This is ‘normal’ to me. It’s how things always have been. It’s really affecting my anxiety. My partner and I live away, but if I’m not with my parents I spend all my time worrying about how my dad is treating my mum. When I am at my parents home, I spend all my time anxious about when he’s next going to yell at my mum. I was anxious last night and had difficulty sleeping while with my partner. I woke up at 2am, and texted my mum at 3am asking if she was ok. Because my dad is in a mood again and has been yelling at my mum. I couldn’t get to sleep again for a couple of hours, because I had a bad feeling as to why she hadn’t replied the night before. When she responded at 9am this morning she told me my dad had argued/yelled at her from 10pm-3am when he went to bed. I spoke to someone a week ago on BeyondBlue chat, and also 1800Respect live chat. They both said it was domestic violence, which I hadn’t considered before. I know what he does isn’t right, but I hadn’t considered it to be abusive until now. But it is. Now that i have this information I’m not sure what to do to stop it. My mum told me my brother has been trying to stand up to him but then my dad told my mum he wanted my brother to die. I feel like they hate each other. Living with my parents or living away and not knowing what’s going on brings me anxiety. I have no other options! I don’t know what to do!

EverlastingDaisy Affect on relationships after emotional and mental abuse
  • replies: 5

Hi there, 2 years ago I was finally able to exit an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship that carried on for 7 years. Around the same time I was diagnosed with ADD. My female friends were supportive of me leaving my abuser however the entire soc... View more

Hi there, 2 years ago I was finally able to exit an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship that carried on for 7 years. Around the same time I was diagnosed with ADD. My female friends were supportive of me leaving my abuser however the entire social group carried on like nothing had ever happened. Despite attempting to articulate my feelings, my friends could not understand that his presence and continued association, no matter how small, was harmful to me, and took my absence personally. Long story short the friendships fractured and I lost my social circle. I am not sure how to explain the breakdown in relationships to other mutual friends. I neither wish to vilify my old friends or make myself look like a victim. Also bringing up the aspect of abuse seems to make people VERY uncomfortable and they shut down. I am lucky to have a great partner but without my friends I do feel very lonely at times, having lost my social circle. I feel very broken and misunderstood. No to mention the confusion trying to decipher which actions of mine are due to trauma behaviours or ADD symptoms. The lack of support and losing my friendship circle post abuse has honestly been just as painful, perhaps even worse than the abuse itself and there seems to be very little literature about how to cope with this scenario. It seems to assume that your friends will choose you over the abuser and rally to your support.

Sarah_M Struggling to cope knowing brother brutally murdered ex-girlfriend
  • replies: 9

Hi, I am new to online forums so I am not sure where to start. I have been working hard for the last 20 years to recover from a childhood of neglect and emotional abuse, and it’s consequences including severe anxiety and depression. In some ways I am... View more

Hi, I am new to online forums so I am not sure where to start. I have been working hard for the last 20 years to recover from a childhood of neglect and emotional abuse, and it’s consequences including severe anxiety and depression. In some ways I am doing okay now - I am married and have a son and getting back into some work after 5 years raising my son (and dealing with post natal depression and anxiety). But I struggle with a dark family secret - 10 years ago my brother brutally raped and murdered his ex girlfriend. I feel such intense shame and anger and sadness. I didn’t have a close relationship with my brother growing up (he was quite a selfish and cruel older brother). I haven’t visited him in prison because I feel too overwhelmed with anger towards him. I have spoken to psychologists over the years and it has help quite a lot. But I am really seeking a way to share the struggles with others who are in a similar situation...It is hard to talk to friends about this due to the shame attached. I keep going over in my head what he did to his ex girlfriend - and how he has shattered the lives of her family and friends.

goodlistener85 My story relating to complex ptsd and severe dysthymia
  • replies: 7

Hi all, my name is Adam and i am 34 yrs old. Been wanting to post for a while now. I haven't worked now for 10 months due to mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and severe dysthymia. I also suffer from ocd and have had a psychogenic o... View more

Hi all, my name is Adam and i am 34 yrs old. Been wanting to post for a while now. I haven't worked now for 10 months due to mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and severe dysthymia. I also suffer from ocd and have had a psychogenic often severe stutter since age 9. Between the ages of 8-16 my then stepfather was extremely abusive and aggressive to my mum, myself and my bro and sis. I suffered extreme physical, mental and psychological abuse on a daily basis for 8 yrs. I pretended for 20 years that i was ok even tho i knew i was drowning in severe anxiety and depression. Working is and has always been extremely difficult for me as i am so easily triggered. I have only seeked a psychiatrist a few months ago and i am going to a new one next month. I am going to apply for the dsp when i get a psychiatrist who i am comfortable with and willing to assist me. I have become extremely well educated re the dsp. Thankyou for reading. I am looking to hopefully meet some new friends on here

Peter0LX Introduction Peter0LX - Psychotherapy treatment for mild complex trauma 
  • replies: 4

Hello All, I was diagnosed with mild complex trauma about 3 months ago. I have had some really helpful psychotherapy which has made a big difference in my life fairly quickly. The main source of my problems was bullying and neglect by my father from ... View more

Hello All, I was diagnosed with mild complex trauma about 3 months ago. I have had some really helpful psychotherapy which has made a big difference in my life fairly quickly. The main source of my problems was bullying and neglect by my father from when I was very young. I had some previous psychotherapy 20 years ago which more or less only scratched the surface but at least it prepared me for my recent therapy. I worked as hard as I could to get the most out of my current therapy. What we have achieved is identify some significant painful episodes in my life, stir them up to articulate what I would have really been feeling at the time but have never put into words before, and then disconnect the painful emotions from my memories of those past events. There is more to it than what I have just said here. I just want to say that it has worked very well. I liken the situation to me being a river, or perhaps river rapids, jammed with floating logs which represent painful memories. The therapy has enabled me to find the main hidden snagged log that was holding all the other logs back. Once we freed up that particular log, all the other logs started flowing downstream again. During later sessions, I felt that the now freely drifting logs jostled for position so that we could grab and deal with the most important ones. My treatment has been very interesting and worthwhile. That's all for the moment.

MO64 The pointlessness of even trying
  • replies: 3

My wife is my world, I know I am insane with the depth and unconditional nature of my love for her. I have been with my wife since 1998 and quickly learnt that she was traumatized from a childhood full of abuses, sexual, physical and psychological. E... View more

My wife is my world, I know I am insane with the depth and unconditional nature of my love for her. I have been with my wife since 1998 and quickly learnt that she was traumatized from a childhood full of abuses, sexual, physical and psychological. Even to this day. Due to the ongoing nature of the psychological abuse, it is difficult to compensate for the unjust treatment my wife receives from her own family. Which is primarily due to the manipulation of her mother, telling her children to stay away from their mother due to her being dangerous and crazy. Which they have done. Her mother has found a way to commit the perfect crime and continues to do so. From my perspective, my wife's mother has damaged her to such an extent that her children have seen aspects of their mother that they didn't understand, that her mother caused and her mother used that behaviour to reinforce the illusion that my wife is dangerous. From my understanding of psychiatry, this is the typical type of situation patients have always been in. The victim suffers a trauma from a family member or care giver. That trauma is then denied by the guilty party and the victim is silenced through what ever means is currently acceptable as humane by the psychiatric profession. The reality is that the psychiatric profession have evolved to the point where they are literally above the law. My wife is currently being held against her will under a Section 30 and Section 46. My wife and I have spent the past six weeks coming off all the prescribed medication due to it possibly causing a new symptom of migraine storms. I have been caring for her palliatively without complaint or support. My wife had successfully come off all her medication and the migraines stopped. We were at the stage of getting her diet sorted when a kidney infection presented. She has a long history of renal issues due to the chronic abuse she suffered. My wife presented at ED, due to a possible reaction to medication she was put on 2 days earlier. My wife was in the middle of an antibiotic course for the infection. My wife's symptoms were interpreted as psychiatric. She is now a prisoner and getting worse. Both psychiatrically and medically. Fact: Psych patients have no rights. If you have a underlying medical condition with neurological symptoms, it will be misdiagnosed if you have a pre-existing mental health issue. You are also 350% more likely to die from oesophageal cancer if you have a mental health issue. Pointless

Concerned_mother Hi there. I’m new here. My name is Jo and I really need to talk about PTSD
  • replies: 1

Hi. I was diagnosed with PTSD early 2000’s. My particular PTSD is a result of childhood abuse and adult violence. I’ve had loads of therapy over the years which has been a wonderful help. I’ve tried medications, meditation and a bunch of other things... View more

Hi. I was diagnosed with PTSD early 2000’s. My particular PTSD is a result of childhood abuse and adult violence. I’ve had loads of therapy over the years which has been a wonderful help. I’ve tried medications, meditation and a bunch of other things. Mostly it’s all good. But on occasion and I never know when, I am affected by something that sends me into an internal rage. On the outside I can appear calm or I can be aggressive in a way that causes my partner to become nervous. I have never been physically violent towards anyone but the energy I give off and the crazy manic head stuff going on inside me is definitely harmful to others around me. Does anyone else ever have this happen?? I feel so alone with it all

EPett Have no idea how to start this conversation
  • replies: 26

I can't stop drinking. I try, but it doesn't work. My parents are both gone, 2 brothers are gone, one from Cancer and the other from suicide. 2 sisters that are irrational and don't care, 1 brother that drops so many pills he thinks he is the normal ... View more

I can't stop drinking. I try, but it doesn't work. My parents are both gone, 2 brothers are gone, one from Cancer and the other from suicide. 2 sisters that are irrational and don't care, 1 brother that drops so many pills he thinks he is the normal one.. Another brother that thinks socializing is drinking.. where do I go from here. I made a mistake and threw in a job and let go of my life. I was always in control even though I was drinking every day. How did I let my life get like this

LozzieLouise Partner's past trauma impacting our present.
  • replies: 1

I'm in a relationship with a guy who has been through a lot of trauma at the hands of his mother when he was a child. As an adult, he experiences severe depression, attachment issues, PTSD, anxiety, night terrors and dissociation (just to name a few)... View more

I'm in a relationship with a guy who has been through a lot of trauma at the hands of his mother when he was a child. As an adult, he experiences severe depression, attachment issues, PTSD, anxiety, night terrors and dissociation (just to name a few). When he gets close to people emotions, good and bad, get the better of him. So he tends to try to push people away to avoid all emotion all together. Now that he's let me in, he's letting himself feel everything which includes all the bad stuff too. We love each other so much and we can be so happy together but when he has particularly bad night terrors or dissociates he immediately tries to push me away & starts saying things like "this will never last", "this won't work", "I'm always going to be like this". I don't know what to do. He's made a huge choice in letting me in, trusting me and sharing everything that he is with me but now he's in a state where he's giving up on us and I think he's trying to shut his emotions off again so he doesn't have to feel. How can I help him see that we can make this work? And how can I help him get through this pain that he's been dealing with for so long? He's so determined to do it all by himself without help from anyone. He's such an amazing person, I don't want to lose him. Am I being selfish?

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