PTSD and Trauma

Partner's past trauma impacting our present.

replies: 1

I'm in a relationship with a guy who has been through a lot of trauma at the hands of his mother when he was a child. As an adult, he experiences severe depression, attachment issues, PTSD, anxiety, night terrors and dissociation (just to name a few)... View more

I'm in a relationship with a guy who has been through a lot of trauma at the hands of his mother when he was a child. As an adult, he experiences severe depression, attachment issues, PTSD, anxiety, night terrors and dissociation (just to name a few). When he gets close to people emotions, good and bad, get the better of him. So he tends to try to push people away to avoid all emotion all together. Now that he's let me in, he's letting himself feel everything which includes all the bad stuff too. We love each other so much and we can be so happy together but when he has particularly bad night terrors or dissociates he immediately tries to push me away & starts saying things like "this will never last", "this won't work", "I'm always going to be like this". I don't know what to do. He's made a huge choice in letting me in, trusting me and sharing everything that he is with me but now he's in a state where he's giving up on us and I think he's trying to shut his emotions off again so he doesn't have to feel. How can I help him see that we can make this work? And how can I help him get through this pain that he's been dealing with for so long? He's so determined to do it all by himself without help from anyone. He's such an amazing person, I don't want to lose him. Am I being selfish?

Not really sure where to start

replies: 8

Hi there, I am a 28 year old female and I have been suffering from depression, anxiety and a number of eating disorders since I was a teenager. All as a result of childhood abuse that I have never really come to terms with. I have seen a few psycholo... View more

Hi there, I am a 28 year old female and I have been suffering from depression, anxiety and a number of eating disorders since I was a teenager. All as a result of childhood abuse that I have never really come to terms with. I have seen a few psychologists over the years, but I have never tried medications. I tend to be pretty terrible at therapy. My depression makes me lethargic and my concentration is highly problematic. I really want to get better, but I am my own worst enemy. I self sabotage in almost everything I do. I have only been getting worse over the last few years and it has finally reached it's peak. I am more depressed, anxious and unhealthy than I have ever been and I am not sure where to go from here. I want to see someone, and I am seriously considering medication, even though I have been trying to avoid it. I don't see how I can anymore. My avoidance issues are largely why I am currently in this mess. I would love some advice, or even some support. I have a negligible support network, other than my husband. I find it incredibly difficult to make friends and when I do, I often mess it up. I withdraw and I lock myself away for months on end, where the only person I interact with on a personal level is my husband, unless I absolutely have to see other people. I am trying to find a creative outlet in writing, but only creative writing. I am awful at journals, partly why my therapy has always been a bit of a mess. Anyway, I am so happy that I found this site. I honestly feel like I need some like-minded people around to realize that there are far more people going through this than just myself. Thanks so much, Fearie

EMDR

replies: 5

Hi, I am considering EMDR therapy at the moment. Has anyone had EMDR therapy? Can you tell me if it was effective? Was it distressing? How many sessions it took? How did you feel afterwards? Thanks f o r any insights you can share with me?

EMDR and repressed feelings ? memories

replies: 1

Hi I feel somewhat stupid asking this question so bear with me please. I suffer from depression and PTSD and I recently started EMDR with my psychologist to help with the trauma from when I was raped as a 12 year old. I have a strong and clear memory... View more

Hi I feel somewhat stupid asking this question so bear with me please. I suffer from depression and PTSD and I recently started EMDR with my psychologist to help with the trauma from when I was raped as a 12 year old. I have a strong and clear memory of it even though it was more than 20 years ago. The PTSD diagnosis is still only relatively new as I didn't disclose the trauma for several years, and even though I know the event had a marked impart on my life I struggled somewhat with the diagnosis because it made me feel like a victim, which I hate. After the first few sessions I keep having memories and thinking about this former family friend (who we're no longer in contact with and haven't been for MANY years). I remember being around him as an approximately 7-8 year old and being really scared of him. I just get this sick to my stomach feeling.......and I feel like something happened to me do with him when I was younger. Like, not rape, but something....inappropriate nonetheless. I feel kind of stupid bringing it up (and feel too stupid to bring it up with my psychologist) but I keep getting these flashbacks of being a young child around him accompanied by a really strong visceral reaction. Does anyone have any experience with this? I have a really strong feeling of....terror and disgust and persistent thoughts about it but its not like I can remember an EVENT or something. I don't want to be oversensitive or, I don't know, a hypochondriac about it, but I don't understand why I would be having such strong feelings about it or even thinking about someone I've had nothing to do with several decades, and have no reason to think of.

Relationship mental and physical abuse

replies: 3

Hi everyone I’m in my early 20s and I have been dating a girl who is 2 years younger then me we have been together for 1 and a half years and she is my first ever girlfriend, we love each other so much but we also do argue a lot most of the time over... View more

Hi everyone I’m in my early 20s and I have been dating a girl who is 2 years younger then me we have been together for 1 and a half years and she is my first ever girlfriend, we love each other so much but we also do argue a lot most of the time over immature stuff and sometimes bigger stuff but very rairly. We have had a lot of trust issues along the way nothing got to do with cheating mostly hiding things from each other for example I don’t like my partner smoking marijuana but she tends to do a lot more behind my back with her friends that I always end up finding out which then cause big arguements which then sometimes leads into get abit physical from both sides, I’m not gonna sit hear and lie, anyway long story short over how whole relationship we started to notice my anger getting out of control and I feel Like the reason is because she aggravates me and pushes me to get to those stages, I tell her to stop and be quiet multiple times cause I feel like my anger is gonna take over but then she continues till it does take over, now it’s got to the stage where she has told her mother and sister about the abusive relationship we have, her mum has made it clear not to contact her ever again, but because we love each other we still do contact and we want this to work but I need help with my short temper and anger, I just don’t know how to get it? I need someone who has been through this or knows how to help me to guide me through this, I also want to know how I can get back in the good books of her family because they really did love me, and I loved them like my own family. Where can I get help? thanks so much for reading and i really hope someone can help me

Remembering abuse from 30 yrs ago

replies: 5

I have recently gone( am going through) an emotional time ..marriage break down . I sort the help from a psychologist and I have talked about a lot of things. Then it came back to me I remembered what happened to me over 30 years ago. I was with a ma... View more

I have recently gone( am going through) an emotional time ..marriage break down . I sort the help from a psychologist and I have talked about a lot of things. Then it came back to me I remembered what happened to me over 30 years ago. I was with a man and I asked him to stop but he didn't and I did nothing to stop him. This hit me hard and I had an emotional break down with my psychologist she helped me calm down and try to understand what happened. I thought I had worked through it but I was at a training session for work and I had a flashback that I needed to go to bathroom to give myself space to calm down. Now I'm scared I might be triggered again and not be able to deal with it. Why after so much time ....

PTSD after physical abuse

replies: 1

Hi, Im new here. Struggling so much today. Im a registered nurse, working in palliative care. 3 months ago my fiance physically assaulted me. A week later I saw my GP and went to the police to make a statement. Life ever since has been surreal, court... View more

Hi, Im new here. Struggling so much today. Im a registered nurse, working in palliative care. 3 months ago my fiance physically assaulted me. A week later I saw my GP and went to the police to make a statement. Life ever since has been surreal, court, protection orders, safety plans, MRIs and CT scans, all on top of shift work and raising my son. I saw GP and psychologist last week and am now taking time off. I feel as if I may never recover, that this incident will define my life. This week has been the hardest of my life. Ive felt that I was strong and resilient until now. Have been told my mental health might get worse before it gets better. That thought is terrifying. Starting antidepressants tomorrow.

What does 'ok' even mean??

replies: 4

I get asked every now and then 'are you ok?' I'm at the point where I have forgotten what ok even means. I feel isolated and alone. No one around me understands. I wear a mask 24/7 As s**t hits the fan when I let my emotions show. I am exhausted and ... View more

I get asked every now and then 'are you ok?' I'm at the point where I have forgotten what ok even means. I feel isolated and alone. No one around me understands. I wear a mask 24/7 As s**t hits the fan when I let my emotions show. I am exhausted and need my mind to just stop. I need work to just stop. I need everything to stop so I can catch my breath.

Work breakdown

replies: 1

I don’t even know where to begin. I have cptsd and have what my doctor and therapist described as “adrenaline exhaustion” from living in fight or flight for so long. Some days are better than others, that’s the one certainty I am aware of. I have bee... View more

I don’t even know where to begin. I have cptsd and have what my doctor and therapist described as “adrenaline exhaustion” from living in fight or flight for so long. Some days are better than others, that’s the one certainty I am aware of. I have been going really well for sometime now and this morning, it all began, out of nowhere it started and I couldn’t function. I tried to pull myself together and I had to go into work. I had a breakdown within two minutes of being there and it is a fairly new job (4 weeks). I am so embarrassed that my coworkers and boss saw this and it is making my anxiety creep back in. I feel so ashamed that I allowed someone to cause this in me many years ago and I’m so frustrated that I will never be me again. I see an amazing therapist who has taken me from scared to leave my house to now working, but I am beyond scared of one step forward and two back, my self confidence is at an all time low and I am so scared of going back to who I became. I am wondering, how do you cope with the embarrassing work breakdown? And also, how do you cope when the fear of going backward kicks in? Thank you you in advance for the advice, I didn’t know where to turn right at this very moment, I have therapy tomorrow so that’s a positive.

New - Here to meet new people

replies: 15

Hi all, I am not quite sure what I am looking to find on here, but thought it might be nice to get to talk to other people in similar situations. I am a 28yo female. I have been suffering from mental health issues for a very long time now, having tim... View more

Hi all, I am not quite sure what I am looking to find on here, but thought it might be nice to get to talk to other people in similar situations. I am a 28yo female. I have been suffering from mental health issues for a very long time now, having times where everything seems fine, then having very low episodes that just seem to come out of no where. My mother died of cancer when I was 12. I watched her deteriorate over a period of twelve months, and sat with her and watched her take her last breath. This is what led to my PTSD. I have struggled with PTSD, anxiety and depression from that point in my life. At 18yo, my boss at the time, attempted to rape me. I fortunately got away from the situation before it progressed too far. Later on in that year, I came out to my friends and family as a lesbian. I lost around 90% of my friends because of this, and family took quite a while to come around and accept me as who I am. My family are great with it now, and I have made some new friends who accept me. I have recently been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis and have been dealing with immense pains that have been affecting my day to day life. I have a lovely girlfriend who I know loves me, but I keep shutting her out because I don’t know if I can truly open up to her. She doesn’t seem to ever be affected by emotions, and doesn’t have much empathy for things she hasn’t experienced, so it’s hard to explain things to her. I am currently in a really low state of mind, and I just can’t figure it all out. My girlfriend keeps just saying that it must all be because my hormones are playing up. But honestly, I just feel really depressed and alone. A

Pinned discussions

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

All discussions

Partner's past trauma impacting our present.

replies: 1