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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Charlie15 Post traumatic stress disorder after falling from a horse
  • replies: 2

Hi, I fell from my horse almost 4 years ago and broke my back. I have been able to ride with no problems until November last year when I witnessed a very close friend fall from her horse. Since then I either try to find excuses not to ride or when I ... View more

Hi, I fell from my horse almost 4 years ago and broke my back. I have been able to ride with no problems until November last year when I witnessed a very close friend fall from her horse. Since then I either try to find excuses not to ride or when I do try to ride, I have to push myself and have massive panic attacks. I don’t have anxiety or depression in my daily life and my dr has stated I have a form of post traumatic stress disorder. I so very much want to be able to ride again the way I use to. My dr has contacted a counsellor but living in the country there is a wait to get in, I’ve currently been waiting 4/5 months. I need help to work with my anxiety and get back to doing what I love and that’s riding my beautiful horse. Disclosure.... the horse I have now is not the one I came off. I did manage to ride her before we sold her and had no problem. Thank you

Mids Hopeless
  • replies: 1

Reaching out for support. I’m a midwife and feeling so sad at the moment. I have elements of PTSD, compassion fatigue and burnout. I’m spent. I don’t want to work. Don’t really want to be on earth. The only thing keeping me here is my kids and husban... View more

Reaching out for support. I’m a midwife and feeling so sad at the moment. I have elements of PTSD, compassion fatigue and burnout. I’m spent. I don’t want to work. Don’t really want to be on earth. The only thing keeping me here is my kids and husband and knowing I won’t act on my thoughts. I feel like a failure. The career I worked so hard for. I have removed myself socially (even social media), and want to hide in bed all day, but manage to make it to the sofa. If I’m rostered to work the sleepless night beforehand, the flashbacks to cases and families on birthing fills me with dread, the headache on shift. I’m drowning. It’s all too much. I have no hobbies away from Mid. I used to enjoy baking - now it’s a chore.

BB2 Overwhelmed
  • replies: 2

I am not one to seek help, preferring to work through my own issues, but lately things have been a little overwhelming and those I work with suggested I speak to someone. I thought this might be a start at expressing how I feel. I'll begin with a lit... View more

I am not one to seek help, preferring to work through my own issues, but lately things have been a little overwhelming and those I work with suggested I speak to someone. I thought this might be a start at expressing how I feel. I'll begin with a little background information. I do not have a diagnosed mental disorder, although those who know me well will say that I am a tad OCD. By and large I have always been a happy person. I have a rather full plate when it comes to family and work dealing with everything from behaviour disorders to cancer, but so far I have been able to juggle my complex life and relationships. I work full-time, very long hours, and most week-ends. Suffice to say I am often tired! I retrained late in life to enter the field of education and it pretty much dictates my life - work and home, home and work. At work I am well respected and most importantly I enjoy what I do. In fact I was having a really good year until a new student was added to the mix. Without going into detail, this student engages in violent behaviour. In my profession it is not uncommon to be physically and verbally abused. Over the years I have grown a very thick skin, however, this situation has caused me more than a little angst. I have felt fear for myself and others. I have felt frustrated, sad, worried, and helpless. I know that I have done everything humanly possible to maintain control but I still feel a sense of inadequacy. I cry without reason, and am finding it hard to concentrate. The other day somebody touched my should in passing and I burst into tears. I kept apologising for crying and started to shake uncontrollably. It was very embarrassing. I hated how it made me feel. I'm always the shoulder, never the tears. I understand what I have experienced is bound to have an impact. I'm not that naive, but the gravity I think is what has rocked me to my core. Although the student has been removed, I still feel emotionally and physically drained. I worry this feeling is more than just stress, and that it may not subside.

John_S007 Support for male victim of female narcissist abuser
  • replies: 3

Hi All, I was told today by my mental health professional i am teh victim of narcissistic abuse by a female abuser. I have looked for support groups out there, but there don't seem to be any anywhere. I am struggling greatly with the realisations of ... View more

Hi All, I was told today by my mental health professional i am teh victim of narcissistic abuse by a female abuser. I have looked for support groups out there, but there don't seem to be any anywhere. I am struggling greatly with the realisations of how much abuse ive sustained in large part without even realising or understanding this. Anyone with any pointers or experience in dealing with or healing from this kind of abuse i'd be grateful for an advice.

A_mother First time reaching out needing help desperate!
  • replies: 10

Please help anyone I'm kind of alone with no one to turn to and well to sum it all it's about my partner he has ultimately crises me with his gaslighting techniques, been together like 6 years or more I'm 27 he's 29 we have a son together who is 5 an... View more

Please help anyone I'm kind of alone with no one to turn to and well to sum it all it's about my partner he has ultimately crises me with his gaslighting techniques, been together like 6 years or more I'm 27 he's 29 we have a son together who is 5 and a daughter who is around 4 months, I feel like I've got to a point where I want my partner to just get out of my life including our kids, just tonight he screamed the house down with uncontrolled outburst cause our son was doing the usual thing trying to get to sleep but calling out to stay awake etc as you know kids do but thought it was okay to traumatise him by abusing him for not sleeping, whilst waking our little girl and scared her, and because I told him he's out of line I then got abused and left helpless picking up the pieces of a crying baby and crying 5yr old. This scene is almost if not pretty much is a daily thing, I feel so neglected and disrespected, I just wish there was a place to send these bad eggs like him but I know you can't think like that but he's made me feel like worse than the dirt on his shoe. I've showed happy face for so long and am truly depply ashamed to break up because it's the stigma associated with it, I feel like I would make life worse for the kids if we were split up as he is very manipulative and would make my life hell by bad mouthing me to my beautiful kids, I know this cause he's already used it as a threat before if I ever left him, the list goes on I feel like I could be typing for ages it's the first time I've ever reached out for help... Not to mention I feel like I'd be letting down my mum and dad for not having a perfect relationship, has anyone else felt like this or had a partner that threatens these things that he will make matters worse if you leave ? I feel like I'll never be able to ever feel the love a girl is supposed to get from a man. I feel like time is ticking and I need to figure this out in a smart way but he scares me or I guess splitting scares me not that I'll miss us it's I'm scared of repercussions... Many thanks in advance for your advice

Sadshame PSTD and Pornography addiction
  • replies: 5

Hello. I would appreciate hearing from any one who has been going through what I am going through. I have been trying to cope with my husband's internet pornography and sex addition for well over 10 years, have never told any friends or family for fe... View more

Hello. I would appreciate hearing from any one who has been going through what I am going through. I have been trying to cope with my husband's internet pornography and sex addition for well over 10 years, have never told any friends or family for fear of embarrassing him and myself!!! We are old, in our 70s, physically healthy, have been married for 53 years... he is a Vietnam veteran diagnosed with PTSD. He denies it is a problem. His addiction has caused me so much grief and sadness, I was totally heart broken and felt total worthlessness, but am okay now, in fact in many ways I am stronger but sad. I have lost all respect, trust and faith in him. I did have a little counselling and have asked him get help but he won't, says he is fine and it's none of my business. I am just so sad that this is the how life is now for us. Otherwise he is a decent man.

Aleksi I feel empty and struggle to be normal
  • replies: 4

for the most part of my social interactions, I portray myself as happy and carefree. Deep down inside everyday, I struggle to be positive and happy and not "feel sorry" for myself but the truth is I am lonely and empty. I grow up with my grandparents... View more

for the most part of my social interactions, I portray myself as happy and carefree. Deep down inside everyday, I struggle to be positive and happy and not "feel sorry" for myself but the truth is I am lonely and empty. I grow up with my grandparents who are now passed on I have no other family all I have is myself. Which I struggle with because I am very family-oriented and I literally have no one to call or see and crave someone to love me and make me feel important. I could disappear today and no one would notice I'm gone and that's scary. I have gone through so many situations alone, being homeless, got out a domestic violence relationship where I was stabbed, the loss of my friends due to isolation from my past relationship, the loss of my family. I've been bankruptcy from a business I started and I am only 26. I struggle to just push on and be happy and not let anything get to me. I just lonely and sad and crave to be wanted and to be well. I don't what i am doing here...

Dephog Depressed wannabe Psychologist
  • replies: 6

I am a 25 year old guy who has just finished his psychology degree. A little older than the rest of my class, I took 5.5years to get through the 3 year course due to a whole host of issues. Still have 4th year and masters/PhD to go (complex pathways,... View more

I am a 25 year old guy who has just finished his psychology degree. A little older than the rest of my class, I took 5.5years to get through the 3 year course due to a whole host of issues. Still have 4th year and masters/PhD to go (complex pathways, but essentially minimum 3 years left) At first I didnt really wanna be there, i wanted to be a rockstar (lol.) Then the drummer in my band got murdered in 2015, and since then things have just got worse and worse. I was an 'emo kid' in early highschool, and got bullied up until the final two years when i carved out a new identity as a guy who smoked at school and played music. I never really felt comfortable in that identity though. Im certainly not a 'bad boy' type. I also did really well in school until that point when i stopped giving a shit. I feel as i write this that i am making a lot of excuses for myself. About a year ago I started therapy, and it has helped a lot. My therapist is toying with diagnoses of dysthymia/PDD and believes that i may have been in 'double depression' in 2017/2018 before i saw him, but we focus on talk therapy rather than meds. I have a lot of issues coming from a family that had violence perpetrated by my father (who i never managed to resent for it) against my mother and sister, and my sister who has mild borderline personality disorder as a result (and yet i do resent her, go figure. She use to threaten to kill me, and would attempt physical harm on me and others. I tend to subjugate myself, accommodate everyone else's needs and struggle to assert myself. I become avoidant, and at worse i surrender. When i surrender i can get really agitated and have suicidal thoughts. They're almost impulses, and they scare me. This pattern has also kept me in a 3-year long-distance relationship with a very emotionally manipulative woman who puts herself in hospital with 'burnout' or 'anxiety' when i try to pull away. I have lost almost all of my peer support network save for two friends I see about once a month so as not to burden them with my issues.

Ne12 SexualAbuse
  • replies: 6

I was sexually abused as a child , I recently told my mother - who completely ignored me and said I was lying . I also have a mother that is very selfish and constantly wants me not let her know when anything is wrong . I feel trapped as we live toge... View more

I was sexually abused as a child , I recently told my mother - who completely ignored me and said I was lying . I also have a mother that is very selfish and constantly wants me not let her know when anything is wrong . I feel trapped as we live together and she constantly threatens me saying she’s ll ruin my reputation