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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Somatica Newby - Needing some faith in therapy
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I'm struggling with resurgence from a physically violent relationship from 4 years ago. I never followed through on therapy as I've had little success with it. One lady clearly lost faith in me when she said I should leave my partner and from... View more

Hi all, I'm struggling with resurgence from a physically violent relationship from 4 years ago. I never followed through on therapy as I've had little success with it. One lady clearly lost faith in me when she said I should leave my partner and from then on she became detached and almost cynical. She also started nodding off in front of me! That was my last session with her! I've dealt with it my humanising my ex abuser, I see him a child in need of help, like a 4 year old throwing a tantrum because he doesn't know how to process his emotions. Which I believe is exactly what was happening to him when he would snap. Part of his brain/heart never grew up. So I feel sorry for him. I rarely feel sorry for myself about it, in fact I've managed to gain strength and power through seeing myself as a survivor. But I've never properly processed what actually happened, and I've never systematically told anyone the real truth. I told the police nothing at the time after my boss called the cops, I protected by abuser. Now I have fits of crying that can be brought on by a small thing, stubbing my toe, biting my lip while eating, pain is now an emotional trigger where I feel utterly helpless and alone while also being incredibly angry. I know I haven't processed this properly. I'd love to hear any positive stories regrading talk therapy and also open to alternative therapies and healing. Best of luck to you all, Somatica

gsd8 Hi i'm new here and wanted to rant
  • replies: 6

Hi I have suffered life-long depression and anxiety and I wanted to find a place were I could connect with people that are going through the same thing. Every day is unbearable levels of anxiety and paranoia, afraid to leave the house, not trusting a... View more

Hi I have suffered life-long depression and anxiety and I wanted to find a place were I could connect with people that are going through the same thing. Every day is unbearable levels of anxiety and paranoia, afraid to leave the house, not trusting anyone around me, never letting anyone be behind me, being extremely on edge if I see a car outside my house, I don't have a normal social network, no friends or family and the only person in my life that I communicate with is my counsellor. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore in a moment of panic but he consoled me and I'm glad he did. When I was a child I suffered an injury that is fatal in majority of cases and yet I was in the minority that survived why me? why was I the one to survive? I'm angry that I survived that and have to suffer the pain of death again, and I pray every night that I don't wake up in the morning and when I do wake up its just another day of this torment. I sometimes go to university but being in public for long periods of time is guaranteed panic attacks which have only become more intense as I've gotten older, but going to university is one of the only reasons I leave the house. go to the counsellor, buy food/clothes or go to university there is no other reason for me to leave and suffer panic.

Fielder Post traumatic symptoms without PTSD?
  • replies: 2

I feel a bit hesitant posting here, because I am fairly certain from what I have read of the symptoms (I have not seen a psychiatrist about this) that I do not meet the criteria for PTSD, but I do get flashbacks, which seems to be quite a bit worse t... View more

I feel a bit hesitant posting here, because I am fairly certain from what I have read of the symptoms (I have not seen a psychiatrist about this) that I do not meet the criteria for PTSD, but I do get flashbacks, which seems to be quite a bit worse than "regular" anxiety, and I wondered if anybody on this forum felt/wondered the same. I have some years of experience with social and other anxiety, and, again, I do not want to imply that what I am going through or have gone through is equivalent to some of the stories I read on this forum, but I keep feeling like the coping strategies that I have developed are probably inadequate. I have already described this elsewhere on these forums so I don't want to go into it too much (and also the hour is very late), but I had a bad trip from cannabis about four years ago, and it only lasted about two hours, but they included a sense/delusion that the intense and constantly mounting dread was all I had ever felt and all I would ever feel. I am not sure that really explains it, but I suppose "bad trip" would probably give a general idea. I guess it's not really the point. There was a seizure, screaming, some semi-wild behaviour that I saw myself engaging in rather than choosing to, and mostly about four times of coming back to normal and then coming back to eternal hell. I don't know what to do about triggers. They're weird. Things like deja vu, gibberishy-reminescent things, voices coming through speakers or phones, becoming focused on the rhythm of conversation or movement instead of the content... as I write this I feel it is not likely many will identify. I also do not know if many will identify with the sense that trying to avoid a flashback immediately and intensely worsens things. Or with the fear that I still have even without flashbacks happening, that I will become psychotic. I guess this stuff is good to say even if it is barking up the wrong tree. I have actually never spoken or even read of someone with a similar experience and am not quite sure where to look.

Imokbutstillstruggling Perceptions of healthy father daughter relationships
  • replies: 2

I was sexually abused by my father until I was 7, and then exposed to sexual behaviours, comments and actions until much later. I am 22 now and have had no contact with him for about 6 months after I confessed to my uncle about the abuse due to my co... View more

I was sexually abused by my father until I was 7, and then exposed to sexual behaviours, comments and actions until much later. I am 22 now and have had no contact with him for about 6 months after I confessed to my uncle about the abuse due to my concern about my father around children. He threw doubt in to my mind, and scorned me for telling my uncle and basically that I was sick to think he ever did those things despite a previous confession by him which he also explained away.. I now have a partner of 2 years and he is awesome. However he has two little girls 4 and 7 and I cannot get my internal chatter to stop and despite continued therapy, my mind try's to convince me every time they interact that this man is a predator. He has not shown me anything that would give me precedent to believe that, however in the last two years I have taken over baths and dressing of the girls because seeing him doing those things makes me fly into a panic attack. I know why. And I know it is my problem not his, I do NOT want to make him feel like a predator but it seriously feels like its ripping me apart when I see them in certain situations. I feel like I am taking away part of their normal father daughter dynamic by not allowing him to do these things. He is very supportive and he understands that deep down I know he is a protector, that they are safe with him - I just want to shake the fear that comes whenever they are with us. If anyone has had a similar experience and has advice on how to overcome this please tell me, I love them all with everything I have and I want to move forward from this..

Samilee PTSD after childhood sexual abuse
  • replies: 3

This is my first time posting on a forum so im unsure of how it works however here we are. Anyway it has been nearly 5 years since my abuser had be prosecuted and jailed, however he has recently gotten out of prison on good behaviour. At first i felt... View more

This is my first time posting on a forum so im unsure of how it works however here we are. Anyway it has been nearly 5 years since my abuser had be prosecuted and jailed, however he has recently gotten out of prison on good behaviour. At first i felt this did not affect me as much as it really did. Up until now my PTSD related problems had been really calm and have not been an issue for 2 or 3 years after going thought therapy and ect. But i have been experiencing seizers and other episodes recently that we believe to be associated with my PTSD im still trying to wrap my head around this diagnoses even years after. im not really sure where im going with this, i think i needed to write about it to get it out of my head. All i really know is that ever since hearing this news i have begin to relaps and im struggling to handle my mental heath along with just general life.

Spot2 Dad's attempted suicide and uni's refusal to approve special consideration
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I'm incredibly hurt, frustrated, angry and upset to put it in a nutshell, and as I am currently fuelled by anger, this may come across very blunt. Six weeks ago my dad attempted to kill himself and it affected our whole family greatly, I was ... View more

Hi all, I'm incredibly hurt, frustrated, angry and upset to put it in a nutshell, and as I am currently fuelled by anger, this may come across very blunt. Six weeks ago my dad attempted to kill himself and it affected our whole family greatly, I was so shocked as I didn't realise my dad felt that way and felt so lost that I hadn't noticed it before. As of today, he came out of the mental health ward feeling much better and has moved to a transitional house for 2 weeks before he's allowed to come home. It's been one of the most challenging times for my dad, and our family combined but I am so so grateful that he is still with us today. During this time, however, I had to undertake an exam for uni that I knew I could not miss as it was a must-pass type of exam. Unfortunately, I ended up failing it by 2%, and I put that down to being both incredibly ill and the events that happened with my dad. I applied for special consideration within my uni as I literally only failed by 2 marks!! However, I received the results today and it has been declined as it's an 'insufficient case'.? How can a close family member's attempted suicide (and almost death) not be grounds for special consideration in terms of your grades/ assessment/ exam results?? At first, when I read the email I was in absolute tears as I'm so confused how that wouldn't count. Now, I'm furious as to how this can be assessment policy?? - This is what the email mentioned when I was told it was declined. I am curious if anyone else has had a similar experience at all? Or, knows someone that has and what or if they have done anything about it. I'm considering taking this further and actually appealing their decision. Then looking into the assessment policies in universities around Australia, and how they are equipped to address this kind of a situation. So far, I have found nothing. So, how can they reject this on the grounds that it 'doesn't fit in assessment policy' when it's not included in the first place? So, has anyone else experienced this? And, if so, what do you recommend I do? Thank you, Spot x

RedDragonfly CPTSD and keeping busy
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I posted before explaining that I'd been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. I have been taking medications for several months and they seem to be working okay, but I was supposed to be starting EMDR soo... View more

Hi everyone, I posted before explaining that I'd been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. I have been taking medications for several months and they seem to be working okay, but I was supposed to be starting EMDR soon, but on my last visit to my psychiatrist he didn't think I was quite ready. So I feel like a bit of failure. He tells me it can be very traumatic and due to the nature of my trauma there are never any guarantees it will work. So I then felt a bit hopeless The other thing we've been talking about in sessions is my tendency to try to keep busy. I wondered if anyone else found this? So he thinks that an avoidance strategy for me is to be constantly doing things, working full time, studying, anything. Before I started to see him, I began a PhD...I know!! that was alongside working full time and it's only recently that I've realised how negatively it affects my health. So, one of the things I have to work is not feeling like I have to be doing things all the time. Maybe I'm trying to feel less useless, I don't know. I'm just so tired, and want to feel alive again, if I ever did. Sorry if this makes no sense Red

LexxieRedrum Emotional Support Kitten - Help me Please
  • replies: 3

Hello Lovelies, Obligatory first time poster no idea what I'm doing but I hope your thoughts are peaceful. For the past ten or so years I have struggled with severe Anxiety and Depression. We are still in the middle of finding a diagnosis for what is... View more

Hello Lovelies, Obligatory first time poster no idea what I'm doing but I hope your thoughts are peaceful. For the past ten or so years I have struggled with severe Anxiety and Depression. We are still in the middle of finding a diagnosis for what is wrong. I have tried a lot of things; everything that I could think of and now I would like to ask for some help. I recently learnt about Emotional Support Animals and I was wondering if anyone here has one; preferably a cat, as I am terrified of dogs, and how that is going. I have reached out to a few local trainers and they stress that due to already having cats this may not be viable. However both my Psychologist and GP seem interested in following this path. Has this worked for anyone? I just can't help but think that having another being, a comfort with me would allow me to do things that I am currently limited from doing, but at the same time I don't want to stress out my two already indoor cats. ESAnimals don't have the same privileges as Guide dogs but there is a legal form/letter and everything. I would really like to hear anyone's opinions or personal stories regarding an animal helping with Anxiety in the outside world. This is something I desperately want to try but I don't want to ruin one's lives. Whether it be my roommates or my pets. Thanks for taking the time to read this I look forward to any input. Lexxie

Ben_Nik A day that changed everything.
  • replies: 3

The morning started out like any other. I set an early alarm to begin on another day's journey on my Euro Trip. The day was November 12, 2018. After panicking momentarily to find the station in Marseille, I found my coach 10 minutes before departure ... View more

The morning started out like any other. I set an early alarm to begin on another day's journey on my Euro Trip. The day was November 12, 2018. After panicking momentarily to find the station in Marseille, I found my coach 10 minutes before departure time. So far so good as I got comfy in my seat for a 3 hour journey. After 3 hours our Coach stopped over in Montpelier for a 40 minute pit stop. Perfect oñportunity to grab a quick bite to eat and stretch the legs. After trying to find a place open open before 11am I made my way to the McDonalds and grabbed a Breakfast Muffin and a Coffee. Looking at the time I inhaled my meal and made way for the station. Whilst relying heavily on Google Maps I got lost in the process and panic began to set in. After almost 20 minutes of frantic searching I finally found the stop where my bus would very soon be departing from. After running to the stop, I asked the driver if this was the bus heading to Barcelona, to which he replied yes. After looking less than impressed at my question, he told me to load my luggage on the other side of the coach, the side facing traffic. Without giving it much thought I made my way around the front of the coach only to be stopped in my tracks by a van driving past at 60-70km/hr. Had I stepped out 2-3 seconds earlier, I would have most likely been killed. Shaken up and angry at the bus driver ar the same time, I loaded my belongings in to the coach and tried to shake the incident off. Well that was 9 months ago, and my PTSD hasn't subsided since that day. I still get flashbacks of that day, Imagine how my family and friends would have reacted to the news of my death and I play this moment on repeat every single day. Life hasn't been easy since then. I constantly feel detached from my surroundings and daily tasks have become mammoth. The daily torment of PTSD sometimes consumes me to the point where I can't see any way out and all I want to do is get back to the life I was living beforehand.

Larry_goodsey Stress, anxiety and flashbacks with court coming up
  • replies: 1

HI. Long story short I was sexually assulted by my step dad from when I was 14-16. I also have depression, anxiety, PTSD and hella triggers from it. And I go to court on Monday and I am freaking out. Part of me wants to walk up and just do it and say... View more

HI. Long story short I was sexually assulted by my step dad from when I was 14-16. I also have depression, anxiety, PTSD and hella triggers from it. And I go to court on Monday and I am freaking out. Part of me wants to walk up and just do it and say "look you didn't ruin my life" and the rest of me is hiding and never coming out. I don't know what to do I know I have to go through with it and I am trying to put up a strong front but I am falling apart. I don't know what to do. I haven't eaten in 3 days I am fighting the urge break my streak and self harm and so utterly lost. I don't know what to do.