I feel a bit hesitant posting here, because I am fairly certain from what I have read of the symptoms (I have not seen a psychiatrist about this) that I do not meet the criteria for PTSD, but I do get flashbacks, which seems to be quite a bit worse than "regular" anxiety, and I wondered if anybody on this forum felt/wondered the same. I have some years of experience with social and other anxiety, and, again, I do not want to imply that what I am going through or have gone through is equivalent to some of the stories I read on this forum, but I keep feeling like the coping strategies that I have developed are probably inadequate.
I have already described this elsewhere on these forums so I don't want to go into it too much (and also the hour is very late), but I had a bad trip from cannabis about four years ago, and it only lasted about two hours, but they included a sense/delusion that the intense and constantly mounting dread was all I had ever felt and all I would ever feel. I am not sure that really explains it, but I suppose "bad trip" would probably give a general idea. I guess it's not really the point. There was a seizure, screaming, some semi-wild behaviour that I saw myself engaging in rather than choosing to, and mostly about four times of coming back to normal and then coming back to eternal hell.
I don't know what to do about triggers. They're weird. Things like deja vu, gibberishy-reminescent things, voices coming through speakers or phones, becoming focused on the rhythm of conversation or movement instead of the content... as I write this I feel it is not likely many will identify. I also do not know if many will identify with the sense that trying to avoid a flashback immediately and intensely worsens things. Or with the fear that I still have even without flashbacks happening, that I will become psychotic.
I guess this stuff is good to say even if it is barking up the wrong tree. I have actually never spoken or even read of someone with a similar experience and am not quite sure where to look.
