Hi Red and warm welcome to our forums
Swan has given you a very supportive, caring and informative post. There isn't much to add to that. Maybe I can share my experience with you if you like.
C-PTSD is incredibly difficult to work through, so I understand perhaps why your psychiatrist thinks it's a little early for you to move on to EDMR. I've been on a journey of recovery and healing from C-PTSD and PTSD for 10 years now. The first year or two were emotionally and physically draining. I ended up having a breakdown after 18 months of emotional trauma therapy. But that in part was due to me insisting on not taking medication, I do now.
From what I've read the emotions and feelings that will arise during the EDMR therapy are very confronting, incredibly traumatic. It's like reliving the trauma. During my emotional trauma therapy every sense in my body were heightened. The surface layer of my body, along with my muscles, joints and bones hurt and ached. It almost felt like I was being tortured. That's when my body and mind gave up and I broke down. It took about 4 months of healing using medication, reiki, hypnosis, grounding, relaxation to bring all my senses to a level that I could function again. My doctor wanted to hospitalise me, however, my psychologist and husband helped me through.
So I do completely understand if your psychiatrist is reluctant to have you start EDMR at the moment. Perhaps they understand something about you that they think might me detrimental to your recovery and healing.
You're not a failure because you're not ready to start the treatment. To the contrary, you have come along way in your recovery and for this reason it's good that your doctor is taking note of your best interests.
My heart goes out to you Red. It's a difficult time in your life, though from everything you've said, I have faith you'll come through this. It's okay to take time. No rush.
It's great you've found your way to our forums. Keep reaching out when you want to.
Kind regards
PamelaR
