Post traumatic stress disorder after falling from a horse

[Charlie15]

Hi, I fell from my horse almost 4 years ago and broke my back. I have been able to ride with no problems until November last year when I witnessed a very close friend fall from her horse. Since then I either try to find excuses not to ride or when I do try to ride, I have to push myself and have massive panic attacks.

I don’t have anxiety or depression in my daily life and my dr has stated I have a form of post traumatic stress disorder. I so very much want to be able to ride again the way I use to. My dr has contacted a counsellor but living in the country there is a wait to get in, I’ve currently been waiting 4/5 months. I need help to work with my anxiety and get back to doing what I love and that’s riding my beautiful horse. Disclosure.... the horse I have now is not the one I came off. I did manage to ride her before we sold her and had no problem.

Thank you 😊

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Charlie,

I feel falling off a horse would have been rough...and painful too. I’m relieved to hear that you seem to have somewhat physically recovered at least. But it sounds like you have some mental/psychological scars from the fall...

I think maybe witnessing her fall was triggering/re-traumatising. Hence the fear and anxiety...I really feel for you...

Good on you for asking for help from your dr. I think that’s very courageous, but I feel sad to hear about the waiting time. I understand there can be quite a wait for mental health services in country areas, which does make me feel sad...

In the mean time, and even though it’s not specific to PTSD, there’s a thread called self help tips for managing anxiety that you might be interested in. Forum members have contributed their own tips/suggestions for anxiety management...

If you’re interested, I think the easiest way to find it is probably to type the above thread title (self help tips for managing anxiety) in the beyondblue search bar 🙂

You might also be interested in a thread called PTSD for medical and first responders. Again, it’s probably easiest to find it by searching for it in the beyondblue search bar. While that thread is more for paramedics, police officers and other frontline workers, you still might be able to find some helpful tips for PTSD management, or maybe feel a little less alone in your struggles...

Both threads are pretty long. So if it’s a bit much, you can maybe read bits and pieces here and there (rather than all in the one sitting). Alternatively, you could also maybe only read the first and large page...just some suggestions...

Also, you’re most welcome to write in any time (here and/or on any other thread). Sometimes I feel it can be helpful to chat, connect, ask questions, etc if we are struggling. No pressure of course. Only when and if you’re feeling up to it 🙂

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[paddyanne]

Hi Charlie. I too fell from a horse some years ago, nothing broken no major damage, just intense embarrassment. Maybe, as Pamela has suggested watching someone you're close to go through the same horrific experience made you feel helpless. Often when we experience something (good or bad) either we're elated because the good memory makes us smile and want to share, however experiencing a bad thing, then reliving it through another person can make us feel anxious because we understand their pain, but we can't stop it or fix it. Your friend possibly felt embarrassed and you felt helpless because you could do nothing for her. Having difficulty getting back on the horse after a fall is not uncommon. Being an accomplished rider, but experiencing difficulty riding again after watching someone else get hurt shows empathy for that person. I recall many years ago visiting my g'mother in hospital (I was 7 or 8). My g'mother had various tubes going in her nose, down her throat etc. I could 'feel' these tubes, even though the nurses and nana repeatedly told me she was in no pain. I now know she wasn't in pain, but to me, then, it was hugely traumatic. Empathy is enormous and shows true depth of feeling for someone we love. I would say you feel empathy for your friend and this could be part of why you feel difficulty getting on the horse, where it never affected you before.