Dear E77
Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I am so pleased you found the courage to write in and not delete. You are safe here. I have no idea of your name, where you live or how to contact you, other than through this forum. You may think someone will 'know' who is writing, but in reality it's just not so. So keep writing in to us and let us help and support you as much as we can.
You said Life has taken its toll and every time I feel like this I have given myself a hard time to straighten myself out. Giving yourself a hard time rarely works in my experience. I am presuming you are depressed and it is this which is causing you so much grief. I have travelled the same road as you, telling myself off, beating myself up, and usually for no good reason even though I thought there was a reason at the time.
It's something we all do, often through embarrassment or disappointment in ourselves. You did not ask to be depressed and neither is it something you want to hang on to. Feeling the way you do means you need care and support, possibly the help of a mental health professional.
You also said and tell myself other people have it worse than me! Well I'm not certain about that. The problems other people face are not necessarily as bad for others as you think. We all have different coping mechanisms which help manage our lives. The important part of this is that it does not matter what difficulties other people have. Your difficulties are just as important. There really is no hierarchy of pain and distress.
What you are feeling is real and uncomfortable which means you need help to get well again. Your GP does not turn you away because you have 'only' got the 'flu and someone else is more unwell. It's the same with mental health and the sorrows we all encounter. This is not to trivialise your life but to help you understand you are as worthy as the next person.
Do you want to talk about something specific in your life or maybe talk in general? If you have been experiencing these down times on and off for many years I want to suggest you have a chat to your GP. This is the first step in getting your life back. Your doctor can check any underlying cause or see if this is solely anxiety or depression. Do you trust your doctor?
Please always remember what you have to say will be listened to by the people here on BB. Write in again and tell us about yourself.
Mary
