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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Roadsy Silent abuse.
  • replies: 2

Has any one experienced silent abuse . I read this article and it's what's been happening to me for 25 years. Not all of it but a lot of it made a lot of sense The mind game by Teresa cooper no2abuse

Has any one experienced silent abuse . I read this article and it's what's been happening to me for 25 years. Not all of it but a lot of it made a lot of sense The mind game by Teresa cooper no2abuse

Ptsdlady New- PTSD assistance appreciated
  • replies: 3

i keep getting myself into situations where i see something awful happen, and then go into the same state i did when i was younger ( i freeze). Im mindful that continuing to react in this manner, will end up causing me more harm in the long run.To cl... View more

i keep getting myself into situations where i see something awful happen, and then go into the same state i did when i was younger ( i freeze). Im mindful that continuing to react in this manner, will end up causing me more harm in the long run.To clarify, say i witness another person getting attacked, and i freeze, how am i any help to this person? Or i see a car accident, and i don't get out of the way and i end up dead.I've already lost a proportion of my life to fear, i don't want the remaining time i have to be miserable. I have PTSD and BPD and im in the process of getting my name on the waiting list for DBT or CBT. I just want to know if theres anything i can do to prevent getting stalked, or attacked. Should i change my clothing? Should i enrol into self defense? I just want to protect myself and not freeze ever again. I'm over reacting in normal situations, and then under reacting in bad situations.It doesn't make any sense.I thought and secretly believed that i wouldn't still be that scared, little girl that i was? i thought i would have grown out of it? I'm well over 18. Is there a way to feel secure or less freaked out by everyone? I don't trust anyone and i don't even bother relying on them because so many people have let me down.Even people who were being paid to care. It makes me ashamed that i wasn't good enough for protection back then and now if i want help its a lot of money or a waiting list. I can't run away, and i just wish i could be able to be free and scream without pissing people off. I can't really be me, i try to be and they laugh.It makes no sense why do i even care what people think when my livelihood means nothing to them? I feel so utterly pathetic, and weak.

_T_ He was my friend.
  • replies: 25

Hello everyone, Its weird to be typing this because I've locked this away, even from myself just trying to get through the days but why should I be ashamed...I was the one who was raped. The details don't matter because a lot of people have experienc... View more

Hello everyone, Its weird to be typing this because I've locked this away, even from myself just trying to get through the days but why should I be ashamed...I was the one who was raped. The details don't matter because a lot of people have experienced that and re-hashing that is pointless i guess. I just want to talk to someone who knows this pain! Im 20 and now see every man as a threat and I hate that! I love men, they are such wonderful creatures but my whole body is stained with the reminder of one night. So please feel free to share your stories and maybe together we can find a happier tomorrow sincerely, .T.

Solosombra I don't think I'm strong enough...
  • replies: 41

Rape, abuse, forced into religion early, high expectations from a iron fisted farther, famous cousins I'm constantly being measured against, a life time of regrets at 26, losing a baby, cheated on twice, craving love/companionship but to scared to tr... View more

Rape, abuse, forced into religion early, high expectations from a iron fisted farther, famous cousins I'm constantly being measured against, a life time of regrets at 26, losing a baby, cheated on twice, craving love/companionship but to scared to trust anyone again ever, work, siblings that look up too me but I just want to hide from the world in my own corner. I need strength but I'm too damn weak. Why? Why am I not strong enough to deal with this anymore? Usually I can find the strength I need by helping others but that's starting to not work and its scaring me so much. I've never hit a low like this before and it feels like quicksand everything I do backfires in my face.

Cornstarch How to cope with people attempting to pick you up when you have a history of trauma?
  • replies: 6

I was wondering if anyone else with a trauma background finds it hard navigating people coming onto you, and lets just say they do it with no class. Like hurl themselves at you, face plant, face pash when you have given zero signals. And when I say z... View more

I was wondering if anyone else with a trauma background finds it hard navigating people coming onto you, and lets just say they do it with no class. Like hurl themselves at you, face plant, face pash when you have given zero signals. And when I say zero I mean zero. I have a tremendous fear of coming across as a sleaze ball so tend to stand back a bit. Whenever it's happened I've had mates present and to ease my fear that I was a sleaze ball they've had to confirm for me that I was just standing there innocently like a wall flower and had barely opened my mouth let alone flirted or begun a conversation. I was like "what the hell just happened". My trauma hasn't shut me down sexually or affected my libido but the dating game has been setting off some horrible triggers, that are extremely difficult to explain to randoms that don't know you. One person set off a cascade of trauma recently thinking that they were being flattering. To make it worse I have no one to talk to about how triggering it is for me because I have this truly bizarre situation where my siblings and family are proud of it. I've had people 10 years my junior go in for the kill and they think it is hilarious. They especially love it if both sexes crack onto me in one night. It makes me feel more alone. I have no desire to hide from the world because life is too short but I want to balance feeling safe with being social. I am totally, totally shit at telling people "I'm not interested in you". How do I say "I am not interested in you" without hurting them or causing them pain/distress, but keeping firm boundaries and only pursuing people I want to pursue?

Bella_Rose Worried mum
  • replies: 3

My three primary school age children have been living exclusively with me for three months, after nearly five years of them going between my house and their father's house, since they reported to me the details of domestic violence/abuse by their fat... View more

My three primary school age children have been living exclusively with me for three months, after nearly five years of them going between my house and their father's house, since they reported to me the details of domestic violence/abuse by their father. The abuse has since been reported to the police and my children have been seeing domestic violence support and mental health counsellors. We have a court date next month, where I hope to be able to change the legal custody arrangements so that my children can live with me, but have the choice when/if they see their father. This has been a very difficult time for me, because I do not like the fact that I have felt the need to breach a court order, I am concerned for the relationship my children will have with their father in the future and despite what has been reported, I feel for their father and his situation because he must be hurting too having not seen his kids during this time. I had to weigh all of this up when I made the decision to help my kids to have time away from their dad, rather than co-operate with the order. I acted on their requests when they begged me not to be returned to him. I have spent many nights with them helping them to drift off to sleep and be strong for the night-mares and the worries which come to them. I have tried to keep their life as normal as possible, but this has involved some missed school when the anxiety levels have been high, and as I mentioned, help from psychologists for them to begin to process their feelings from what has happened. I don't know what the outcome of the court case will be. There is always a possibility that they may be ordered back to their father's care. Although they have pleaded for this not to happen, I can not tell them with 100% certainity that this will not be the case. Meanwhile, I have found that I am feeling quite alone (I don't know anyone going through this). I know there is stigma out there around "those women who do/say terrible things so they get to keep the kids". I know I am not one of those women. I agreed to an almost 50/50 arrangement with my ex- almost 5 years ago and co-operated with that until the disclosures were made. What I dearly want is for my kids dad to acknowledge his part in their refusal to see him and to make some changes, rather than blindly blame me for withholding them. Is there anyone else out there who has experienced something similar? I'm really hoping for good news stories.

Cecilia1970 PTSD & Loneliness go hand in hand (TRIGGER WARNING SEXUAL ABUSE)
  • replies: 2

In November 2012 my life changed. Out of the blue, suppressed memories surfaced of being molested as a child by my father and uncle. Nearly 4 years later, I feel more and more lonely as every day passes. I've since divorced and am in another relation... View more

In November 2012 my life changed. Out of the blue, suppressed memories surfaced of being molested as a child by my father and uncle. Nearly 4 years later, I feel more and more lonely as every day passes. I've since divorced and am in another relationship, although not sure about how long this one will last. I was diagnosed with PTSD and am on medication but it's this feeling of loneliness that seems to be killing me…very very slowly. Hiding it is easy. It's when I'm alone that I break down and fall to pieces. I have thoughts of suicide quite often but my children are what keep me alive. Is this feeling of loneliness common with sufferers of PTSD? Is it common for sufferers of PTSD to experience relationship breakdowns? A story that has been on the news lately has kept my memories quite close to the surface and that's not helping. But something that cannot be avoided either. I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or if I'm just wanting to put my feelings "out there". Nevertheless, there it is. That feeling of betrayal when my mother knew what my father was doing and did nothing about it. No, sorry, she did do something. She told me not to tell anyone because it would ruin our family. That's what she did. Nothing more to be said.

Faded Not even the half of it :(
  • replies: 2

I was only 6 when i first became a ward of the state. I was neglected and abandoned by my mother. i had many different placements, numourous workers and a very unsettling upbringing. I was misstreated and subjected to all sorts of abuse previous to a... View more

I was only 6 when i first became a ward of the state. I was neglected and abandoned by my mother. i had many different placements, numourous workers and a very unsettling upbringing. I was misstreated and subjected to all sorts of abuse previous to and during my time in government state care.I was sexually abused at 6 years old in my first `foster home.. Numerious times. I was physically abused until I was 13. I ranaway at 13, and was raped. I lived in constant fear but i strangly felt safer on the streets.I never spoke of any of this. I was very afraid to.No body knew the extent of my abuse. I couldnt trust anyone. I was lost, alone and broken.i repeatitivly absconded.Ive never had a place to call home. im now 32, i have a 10yr old girl of my own who now lives with her father.My father reciently committed suicide.My family took advantage of his estate as did my partner.I no longer talk with my family, they shut mE out.My boyfriend has a gambling problem and drug addiction that seems to be taking its toll on our relationship.He dissapears for days at a time. Gambles our money. Constantly lies and mistreats me. I cant talk to him properly Without fear of whats to foLlow. ive tryed every angle. Im always forgiving him. yet hE still behaves this way and controls each situation. Im trapped in a living mess that im Scared to walk away from.I cant cope. This all constintaly plays on My mind. I have nightmares and flashbacks from my childhood. I miss my dad emensly. Im afraid and i am losing my self worth. I dont want to leave my bf . I love him and want to help him. Ive only eva wanted us both to be happy..But right now. Im unsure.

cat1au Bullying has triggered my ptsd
  • replies: 1

I haven't posted on here before so I'm a little shy, but I need some extra support. Last night I wasn't abe to sleep at all ...for around 2 weeks I have been receiving very abusive, degrading, downright abhorrent txts from 2 women I used to consider ... View more

I haven't posted on here before so I'm a little shy, but I need some extra support. Last night I wasn't abe to sleep at all ...for around 2 weeks I have been receiving very abusive, degrading, downright abhorrent txts from 2 women I used to consider 2 of my closest friends..I haven't responded and I've tried blocking them but it hasn't worked..last night I received the most graphic, deliberately triggering txts yet. Best friends make the worst enemies. I am struggling with it...their words continue to go round and around in my head...I'm finding it hard not to question myself. Some days I get 20 txts at a time. I don't know what to do