PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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r_d [TRIGGER WARNING: domestic violence] my dad and his siblings won't listen to reason.
  • replies: 8

Hi, I'll try to explain properly so bear with me. So my little sister and I currently moved out of my father's house due to his anger issues. Since our mum passed almost 2 years ago, it's just been us three. My dad and I have had some arguments here ... View more

Hi, I'll try to explain properly so bear with me. So my little sister and I currently moved out of my father's house due to his anger issues. Since our mum passed almost 2 years ago, it's just been us three. My dad and I have had some arguments here and there about small things like household chores and stuff like that, and since last year, he's been blaming my 'change' of attitude because i've had a boyfriend, which is not true. Every time that happens, my dad would start to raise his voice and I would try to be calm but when I talk to him, I just get really frustrated. Also, the way that he sometimes asks us to do something for him is more of like a command to do what he wants to be done. He's very strict and he just loves to complain about what we do wrong, even a tiny bit, to his sisters. I am 23 and my sister is 12 and the three of us has depression. Anyways, this past Sunday, something happened. It's a bit hard to explain, but my sister was in the kitchen when all of a sudden I hear her yell out in pain because my dad punched her in the arm and I heard her yell out, "Stop, what are you doing?" then she ran towards her room. Just so you know, these kinds of things happened before when it gets bad but we let it slide because he's still our father and he never lets us forget that, but this time, I saw my dad run towards her room and try to break down her door, saying things like, "I'll kill you" and just full on swore at her. I told him to calm down but he kept saying things that really cut to the core. He said that it was her fault that our mum passed away because of stress from processing her adoption papers. Also, he keeps saying that he regrets bringing her here in the country and some other hurtful things that you never say to a 12-year-old much less your own daughter. Mind you, he has said these things to me too. It hurt a lot and I told him that but he said it's just words. "I don't mean it and I would never do anything to harm my daughters." So now, after a few hours, we snuck out and went to our elder sister's house because we don't feel safe there anymore. His sisters kept calling us and blaming me for everything that happened a few days ago, even though I keep telling them that he THREATENED TO KILL US. They said that it's normal to be angry and say those things and my sister and I should just say sorry and forget about it. Did we do the right thing? I feel bad for leaving but we really don't feel safe there anymore. Any advice?

3T Is there a link between trauma and high blood pressure?
  • replies: 2

Hey guys I just wanted to know if long term mental illness can make you physically sick I have really high blood pressure and I'm not sure if the two are related

Hey guys I just wanted to know if long term mental illness can make you physically sick I have really high blood pressure and I'm not sure if the two are related

Roxy123 PTSD Hallucinations
  • replies: 1

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. A person I know has had several visits to the hospital, the hospital is saying there is nothing wrong with her but a doctor is saying because of a mentally abusive relationship and, issues i... View more

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. A person I know has had several visits to the hospital, the hospital is saying there is nothing wrong with her but a doctor is saying because of a mentally abusive relationship and, issues involving her kids that she is has PTSD Hallucinations. This has been happening very frequently, strange things like eating fish food, trying to drink hair conditioner, buttering her shoe with butter, thinking she is making a cake whilst sitting on the floor, putting a towel into the toilet, possibly thinking it was a washing machine, she was off to the beach and is back in 1993 even though we are in 2017. All of this is happening and last for about 12 hours. For many years she has been a very heavy drinker, but not every day drinker but when she did could go on a bender for a couple of days. She has spent time in Rehab a few times. I believe she no longer drinks, but I know she has been on prescription medication. My question is, can a person experience things like I have mentioned from PTSD, or do you think some kids of drug/prescription medication is getting used. Some people are convinced it is PTSD, but I am not. She can function on days perfect then hours later is completely unaware of what is going on around her. Thank you, look forward to hearing your feedback

SuperSonic When other survivors of abuse won't talk to you
  • replies: 3

I really hope this post doesn't come off as selfish - please read to the end! I was abused by a medical professional in the early 1980s (10yrs to 13 yrs old). I've discovered a group of older women who were also abused by this person in late 60s & 70... View more

I really hope this post doesn't come off as selfish - please read to the end! I was abused by a medical professional in the early 1980s (10yrs to 13 yrs old). I've discovered a group of older women who were also abused by this person in late 60s & 70s, but they are all about 10-15 years older than me. but is seems no one now wants to talk about it. I wonder if when you are around your 40s (like I am), is when this kind of trauma hits you the worst. And maybe they've all been through that stage and just don't want to revisit it. I don't know. But I feel like I'm an outsider of a group. I'm going to the Royal Commission later this week and I'm feeling terribly alone about the whole thing. I know one of the other lady's has also gone to the RC and I was hoping we could discuss it before I go. However she got one of her friends to email me to say she was unable to support me as she's going through a tough time. Naturally I have to accept this, but it hurts me. Guess I just wanted peoples thoughts on this forum, as to whether they've experienced a similar thing. regards, Super

TBella Disillusioned by Pursuit of Happiness
  • replies: 4

overwhelmed by the realisation that my whole life has been full of grief & loss.why can't I let go of it, or get over it! I just want to be happy! Then it hit me like a flash of lightning.Some things in life that happen to us, some losses we will nev... View more

overwhelmed by the realisation that my whole life has been full of grief & loss.why can't I let go of it, or get over it! I just want to be happy! Then it hit me like a flash of lightning.Some things in life that happen to us, some losses we will never completely heal or get over in this life. There will be times when out of blue triggers will come &grief will slap you hard in the face again&knock you off your feet! But we don't need to struggle or fight against it, we just need to accept it! It's like being in the ocean, fighting, struggling against the crushing waves- you just exhaust yourself &drown quicker. Grief is like the waves of the ocean, if you fight against it&struggle we will just exhaust ourselves & drown. It's better to just let the waves of grief roll over you& learn to just ride the wave until it brings you into shore. I think what I realised today is that sometimes our intense pursuit of happiness is to avoid feeling the pain from the bad things that happened to us. We want to feel good! I think as humans we expect to be happy all the time&yet today I seen that that pursuit of happiness is actually what disillusions is.I realised that the pursuit of happiness is unattainable&unrealistic! We cannot be happy ALL the time, nor can we live in a constant state of happiness. It's not normal.It is possible to come to a place of contentment in life, where you learn to be content with life.I realised we have MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS" rather than constant HAPPINESS.Making that distinction that we have MOMENTS of happiness rather then that pursuit of happiness has really helped me! I no longer feel the need to pursue happiness as such.It's helped me to make peace with it &also peace with my loss&grief!I accept that everyone has their moments of loss, grief, everyone has their moments of happiness. Buts that's all they are MOMENTS.There will be times when the waves of grief wash over us but we don't need to fight & struggle against it! We just need to learn to ride the wave until it passes.Sometimes we need to accept that the grief, trauma in our lives leave us with a limp&we may just have to learn to walk the rest of our life with a limp but we just keep walking. And when we have a crap day, we just let it happen.Seeing it as MOMENTS is very liberating,I don't have to fight anymore! I don't have to fight against grief or fight for happiness because both will inevitably come to me- it's called life!

TBella Over being judged & misunderstood
  • replies: 6

Well I emailed my sister last night to share a breakthrough I had re: not feeling like I have fight against grief or fight for happiness- I just accept both will come. My sister emails me back giving me long lecture on happiness is a choice, we make ... View more

Well I emailed my sister last night to share a breakthrough I had re: not feeling like I have fight against grief or fight for happiness- I just accept both will come. My sister emails me back giving me long lecture on happiness is a choice, we make our own happiness. I emailed her back to explain that it's not as simple as a choice to be happy when you have mental illness. I explained my experience in the last 5 years with PTSD, in order to help her understand. She sends me an angry email back saying she doesn't believe in all that stuff- mental illness, PTSD are just labels so you don't have to take responsibility for your life & can play the victim coz safe being a victim & she hopes her email makes me angry, angry enough to stop being a victim. Ouch!!! It really hurts, I made myself so vulnerable & she shut me down! I'm fed up being told how I should feel or not feel! And now I'm worried for her kids, as two of them have shared with me their own struggles with mental illness & how they tried to talk to their mum but she shuts them down because she refuses to accept mental illness is real- according to her mental illness is a choice! Yeah we choose to have PTSD coz it's safe! Pfft! Ask anyone with PTSD & they will tell you they don't feel safe. The most concerning thing about all this is she is a nurse! Clearly classically text book trained. It makes me feel sad &I isolated - like no one gets me or understands! It makes me want to never open up & share how I'm really feeling coz I'm sick of dealing with ignorance, arrogance & people intolerance to accept people with mental illness. And I'm over Being judged by people especially family who don't even take the time to see how I am or what's going on in my life. Im feeling pretty raw tonight & like hiding for the rest of my life!

anonymousme Fear of death after car accident
  • replies: 3

I was a passenger in a serious car accident at the start of this year, and since then I'm always afraid of death. Basically a bunch of my friends and I went to a backstreet that is notorious for hooning and one of the guys was mucking around in his c... View more

I was a passenger in a serious car accident at the start of this year, and since then I'm always afraid of death. Basically a bunch of my friends and I went to a backstreet that is notorious for hooning and one of the guys was mucking around in his car. Each of my friends took turns being a passenger and I was against it at first, but then decided to take a ride too. At first it was all fine, but then he decided to fishtail down a hill and it didn't take long before he lost control. We went sideways into two poles and then rolled into a ditch. It was the most frightening experience of my life and when the car came to a halt I thought I had died. It all happened so quickly but I still remember every thought that rushed through my head as it happened. All I could think about was my mum and that everything was over. Against all odds I was almost completely uninjured except for a split eyebrow, but I still can't go a day without thinking about it. I panic when I'm in a car with my friends, I panic when I'm on the train, I panic when I'm trying to fall asleep. I have had many dreams about car crashes and plane crashes lately. My dad takes planes weekly and I now worry each time that I'll never see him again. The event that stood out to me the most was when I recently went to the beach with my family. I have always loved the water and I'd swim out right through heavy waves. This time, I was in the water for about 5mins with pretty small waves and I panicked and got out of the water because I was too afraid of dying. I was never afraid of death before, but now it seems to be something I worry about every day. I just want things to go back to normal. I talk to my mum about it and she thinks I should see a professional for at least a few sessions, but I know how expensive that is and I feel bad. I'd rather use these forums.

Shred1106 Dealing with chronic pain, depression,anxiety and PTSD - any tricks and secrets?
  • replies: 12

Hi all Hope this thread helps and excuse me if there is one along this line already. I have been in pain now for some months - thankfully my GP hasn't given up on me but how do others deal with chronic pain. I find it is just adding to my feeling dis... View more

Hi all Hope this thread helps and excuse me if there is one along this line already. I have been in pain now for some months - thankfully my GP hasn't given up on me but how do others deal with chronic pain. I find it is just adding to my feeling disappointment in what I cannot do and is preventing me balancing medications, anti anxiety measures and PTSD, I am having Physio, dry needling (acupuncture), medications and have tried ice, heat, relaxation and yoga but had to give the Yoga away because of my hip. All and any suggestions welcome!

Margt losing a child
  • replies: 4

Hi, I was having a look at the forum this morning and saw a post from a lady who had had lost her little girl. I have lost two sons. One as a baby and one killed by a drunk driver almost nine years ago. Whilst i have dealt with this alone, i am going... View more

Hi, I was having a look at the forum this morning and saw a post from a lady who had had lost her little girl. I have lost two sons. One as a baby and one killed by a drunk driver almost nine years ago. Whilst i have dealt with this alone, i am going to start attending meetings eith "Compassionate Friends". This is a global support service . Please google this and find a meeting near you. Trust me you will need them. Marg

Joyceyy I never know where to start or when to finish.....
  • replies: 3

So this will be my first post here.. like the title says its hard to know where to start, Im 23 and i have two young children. One is just about 4 and the other is 9 weeks old, both boys. Im currently in a relationship with a 22year old man.. and hav... View more

So this will be my first post here.. like the title says its hard to know where to start, Im 23 and i have two young children. One is just about 4 and the other is 9 weeks old, both boys. Im currently in a relationship with a 22year old man.. and have been for a year and a half.. i would still consider myself a solo parent though. Our relationship seemed great in the start however that quickly gained all the nasties. Control , jealously , isolation , double standards,carelessness and emotional abuse. I have been called every single name .. under the sun. I have been physcially hurt. I am always rejected and pushed to one side and as of late im now living completely alone as he says his life is better without me. Every day for 3 weeks ive tried to get him back, ive stayed at his friends , ive gone backwards and forwards at ridiculous hours spent all my money trying to be by his side. When i was there.. i was basically pushed to the side the whole time although he claimed to have wanted me there. I lived for the moment he hopped in bed next to me. Even tho he went straight to sleep. I miss his companionship thats been gone for so long. I need help. I cant pull myself away. The dv has me trapped . I feel like i need him and am nothing without him.i can't eat. I cant sleep. I hate waking up. I hatethinking. I cant stop thinking. I feel so trapped within myself and i am always looking for or imagining escapes. I cant focus on my children. I never have anytime to just be me. And im so disappointed in myself for letting this happen. What can i do. Will he change Is it worth trying Im so unsure of my whole being. I feel like a long time ago i shouldve turned right but instead i went left.