Hi all, I'm not really sure where to begin, but about 4 months ago I was
sexually assaulted by a guy I was seeing. We had been seeing each other
for about 2 months and had a very complicated, but intense, relationship
due to the fact that I was still...
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Hi all, I'm not really sure where to begin, but about 4 months ago I was
sexually assaulted by a guy I was seeing. We had been seeing each other
for about 2 months and had a very complicated, but intense, relationship
due to the fact that I was still healing from a previous 3-year
relationship in which I had been severely emotionally-abused
(gas-lighting, triangulation, lies, theft, silent treatment, you name
it). The guy in question was under the influence of drugs when the
assault took place and therefore couldn't remember it. When I confronted
him about it the next day, he told me I was a liar and a perpetual
victim. A week later, he told me he didn't feel anything for me anymore,
that I was a terrible person, and then he cut me out of his life
completely. Honestly, the things he did in the aftermath were more
hurtful to me than the actual assault. I was seriously shattered by his
behaviour but decided that the only thing I could do was focus on
myself. My psychologist has helped me immensely in dealing with
everything, and I am no longer depressed, with panic attacks becoming
fewer and far between. My life at the moment is also very fulfilling. I
do full-time uni, work 2 jobs, have a volunteer position at a mental
health facility, and have 2 major holidays planned for this year. I also
try to exercise regularly and maintain my hobby of writing. My anxiety,
however, is still almost debilitating. My entire body is constantly
tense and sometimes shaking, my sleep is shallow and unsatisfying so I
am tired all the time, the smallest disappointment can send me
spiralling off into a mini depressive-episode, I constantly have
headaches, etc. Basically, what I am trying to say is that even though
my life appears to going great, I still feel pretty horrible all the
time, and I don't know how to make it better because I feel like I am
doing everything right. One thing that I would also like to mention is
that I still constantly miss the guy who assaulted me, and that makes my
anxiety worse because I feel like there must be something wrong with me
to miss someone who did that to me, especially when it has been 4 months
since it happened and I only really knew him for 2 months. We go to the
same university as well, so I see him often and every time he pretends
I'm not there and it makes me feel terrible. So I guess what I'm asking
is, what tips do you guys have for improving anxiety without medication,
and how do I get over this guy? Thanks so much in advance.
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
