Hi Eleni B,
I am so sorry to hear all this Eleni B, you have been through some horrible and challenging stuff. I'm wondering if you have had any therapy over the years, or if you would consider it now? You deserve to feel better and I think you can, with some appropriate support and persistence, it's going to be one step at a time.
Certainly a counsellor could help you to reduce these arguments over 'stupid things', we can all use a bit of support for that some times. I'm so glad your husband is a lot better and maybe that will improve further with time. Don't let go of that happiness you have had with the man that is your husband! In fact it could be useful to start prating gratitude on a daily basis, before bed, list some things on paper that you are thankful for, your beautiful family, roof over your head, food to eat etc. This is a practice, it helps you to pay attention to the positive things. Even challenging things can be seen as positive, if we know we are growing through them to become stronger better people.
Two little quotes that I came across recently that I think are relevant...'If you didn't come from a healthy family, make sure a healthy family comes from you', and 'Pay attention to your patterns. The way you learned to survive may not be the way you want to continue to live. Heal and shift.' I love these quotes and the second seems apt, especially with all this challenging trauma you have unfortunately had to deal with. You can still rely on you, to gently start remembering who you are, what is important to you, what you are passionate about. Maybe this is the start of a new journey of self discovery, one doable step at a time. You are allowed to get help with that, you are not weak for needing and finding help, it takes strength to face these challenges and do the work.
Much love to you and yours, talk any time.
Jack
