How do i go on?

[new_beginning]

The last 4 years of my life i have been given bread crumbs and discarded more times than i can count.

The last time being yesterday, i was only wanted so he didnt have to pay childsupprt and to see his kids however he was supposed to have the kids last night but the new gf has kids free weekend so that was more important.

I have been lied to for 4 years and now im a mess wondering what to do now. I have no self confidence, no trust in my judgement of people and no hope for the future. I just get up everyday for my kids and try to make them happy. I dont feel happy. I cant remember the last time i did. I barely sleep and now just get to look forwards to the time when he decides to break me some more by coming after the kids..

What am i supposed to do?

[Matchy69]

Hi New beginning its great you have come here for some support and advice.Can i ask you if their is any parenting orders in place?I did one through mediation and we came out with one that we were both happy with.I was allready paying the required child support amount and i added in their i pay half medical and half school expenses and i have the kids every weekend unless she wants them for family occasions or something and i have completely stuck by this.If you havent parenting order in place that should be the first thing you should do and check that he is paying the correct child support with Child Support.Maby contact legal aid for some advice to.Your kids are the most important things to you and should be their fathers as well.

Take care,

Mark.

[new_beginning]

There are no parenting orders in place. He does pay child support however.

He has never really been there for the kids, our daughter he felt was more important to spend the night with an ex in a motel than her birth and then barely acknowledged her for the first year of her life then left shortly after. Our son i was told to abort and he didnt bother to meet him till he was 6 weeks old despite living 20 mins away.

Gfs have always been more important, our little girls kindy was year last year and dispite being asked to every thing he made it to nothing. He didnt even remember it was her first year at school this year.

Ive tried to give him over night visits but he leaves the kids unattended and smokes drugs constantly, so im not comfortable with him driving them about.

I feel so bad for the kids, my eldests dad died so i already feel guilty enough about him not having a dad, now i have 3

[Matchy69]

Hi it sounds very much like it would not be safe leaving the kids with him.I am sorry that he is not taking and part or active interest in your kids lives.At least you are getting child support and hope this is being paid on time for you.I know how much kids cost.It sounds like a really unacceptable situation you are in and unfortunately he isnt going to change.If he wants to see the kids they should be done under supervision and there are special places for that where you drop the kids off and leave and he comes 20 minutes later and you dont even have to see him.Someone will watch the whole time so your kids are always safe.

Have you seen your GP about how you are feeling and talking to them and hard it can be talking to about things like this but they are usally good with listening and advice and looking after your physical and mental health.You really need to be strong for your kids.

Take care,

Mark.

[new_beginning]

Yes ive spoken to the dr previously and a psychologist and am planning on getting in touch again tomorrow.

I cant do this anymore.

Thanks for your replies Mark

[Matchy69]

That will be good if you get in touch with them tomorrow.I have seen a psychologist myself and found it to be helpful but not fix the problem.I hope it does help you.I can feel how much you are struggling and how you would like a happy life.My children both have special needs and can be a real handful and struggle for me especially my youngest who is allmost 8.Despite how much you are struggling you get up every day and look after your kids and try and make them happy.I really think thats a good strength to have.

Take care,

Mark.

[new_beginning]

Thank you.. These kids are my entire world, there is nothing i wouldnt do for them.

I will get back up again and soldier on 🙂

[Matchy69]

I know what you mean my kids are my entire life and they keep me going.You have amazing fighting spirit and you will succeed and be happy again.

[new_beginning]

Thank you Mark, i do hope you find happiness also.

I do very much appreciate the time youve taken to respond to me today. This morning really was not great but after chat with you and a call to the helpline today, i am feeling much better.

We can totally conquer this!

[Matchy69]

Hi new beginning i am glad my chats with you helped.I just wanted you to know that your not alone with what you are going through and that someone cares.

Take care,

Mark.