Did I do the right thing?

[Ruby28]

Hi, I have struggled with this for close to 4 years. Did I do the right thing.

I loved my partner so much, we did everything together, we owed 2 houses our life was everything we both wanted. But he had a problem, which I eventually found out about and yes it scared the hell out of me but I wanted to help him, I loved him. His problem destroyed lots of lives and caused a death. I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat I have the worse nightmares and no I couldn't support him anymore, we argued so much before the accident, I repeatedly told him he would hurt someone. Eventually I told the truth, which meant I would destroy his life, how do you know what's the right thing and what's the wrong thing. I feel so sick all the time, I still have nightmares, I am petrified of going out, I am a horrible person for doing this, I didn't want to hurt him but I didn't want him to hurt anyone else

[PamelaR]

Hi Ruby28

Warm welcome to our forums. Sorry to hear you're having nightmares. Though I am very pleased you've found your way here. You sound a very caring person, and would suggest that's partly why you are struggling with memories now. My heart goes out to you. I'm just wondering if you've ever talked with anyone about what's happened, e.g. a counsellor or psychologist? Seeing someone has also helped me with strategies for managing my PTSD and anxiety. The first thing I do is go to my gp to get a mental health plan done and a referral to a health professional.

From my own experience, talking with someone who isn't close is beneficial. Helps to put things into context and to get some unbiased view about my actions. My perspective is always - I did what I did for a reason at that time, with the knowledge, experience and understanding I had at that time. It is impossible for me to go back and change my actions now. To help me move on I acknowledge what I did and accept what I did. If necessary I have apologised to those it impacted and have paved a new way forward for our friendship.

Hope some of this helps.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Ruby...

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

Im deeply sorry for what your going through..I cannot even imagine how hard it would be for you...

I think what ever you done to stop your partner from hurting or killing another innocent person requires so much bravery..and in my heart..I believe you done the right thing...

No..beautiful lady..you are not a horrible person at all..what you did shows strength, love and care for others..and believe it or not your partner as well....He just might get the help he needs and a big wake up call that’s it’s not okay to put other peoples lives at risk..no matter what he is doing...

Please..don’t be hard on yourself..you have probably saved a few lives..by doing what you did....

I for one am pleased you told the truth and put a stop to what he was doing....You are a very brave person..and should be holding your head high...instead of feeling the way you are..

Ruby...Like Pamela R..has suggested, maybe if you could reach out to you Dr for help with the nightmares and not being able to sleep....maybe he/she can organise some counselling for you..

You done nothing wrong lovely lady...you may have saved another live or stopped him from destroying anymore lives.

Here if you feel to talk lively Ruby...

My kindest thoughts..

Grandy...