Desperately needing a safe place conflict free

[TBella]

I have been struggling for the last two weeks. There is a work situation where my boss is under investigation for abusive behaviour to both children & staff.

There has been so much conflict around me & im not allowed to talk about it with anyone, which has triggered the PTSD & anxiety in me. It has left me feeling unsafe triggering memories of my last boss who was violent & abusive to me. And also childhood memories of never feeling safe.

Right now, i am so desperate for a safe place, somewhere I can hide & find a safe place of comfort.

i have also been noticing that since having PTSD, the city life doesn't seem to suit me. I am longing for a less fast paced, noisy, superficial world. I'm longing for peace, calmness, getting back to the basics & closer to nature. Somewhere tranquil.

Im wondering if anyone else who has PTSD, found this & moved. Do you think it would benefit my mental health to move?

Kind Regards

TBella

[Guest_9809]

Hi TBella. Sorry its been such a difficult couple of weeks for you, with recent difficulties at work acting as a trigger for you.

We all crave a place we feel has a degree of safety to find solice in our own way. Just what a safe place is, will not be the same for everyone, and it will depend on what triggers the individual has. But in general, those of us living with PTSD find that the fast pace and noise of city life presents everyday difficulties.

To find somewhere that temporarily offers peace, calmness and a tranquil back-to-nature environment would be perfect for those times when you are triggered and thus on high alert all the time. It provides a respite from constantly feeling as though you are under attack.

In my own experience I would say that moving is not the answer. Unfortunately fears and memories follow you, no matter where you are. I moved from a city to a rural environment thinking I could escape from everything that haunted me, from the traumatic memories that the city held for me. It didnt work! It probably meant that I was not triggered as often, but that was mainly because I moved a long way from the person whom I feared, and to some extent I felt safer. But it didnt prevent ongoing symptoms and flareups of PTSD symptoms, because triggers are everywhere, and traumatic memories cannot easily be wiped.

Another negative to moving is that you would be moving away from current friends, family, workmates, support people. That can be hard for anyone, but when you have ptsd you already tend to isolate yourself, and its important that you maintain contact with people. Lots of changes would be necessary, for example what would you do for work?

I think the only proven way of helping is to have evidence based therapy for PTSD, which aims at desensitizing our memories and emotions and helping us deal with symptoms.

Moving may have some net benefits - negatives perhaps offset by temporary positives. Its something you need to weigh up for yourself. I just dont think running away is the answer, and it wont resolve the issues long term. If you move and it doesnt help, do you move again? I moved 4 times! The only thing which benefited for me has been the psychotherapy I've undergone together with a sound knowledge and understanding of PTSD.

Is it possible for you to take a break and go somewhere as you described? It may be enough to give yourself a chance to get through this current spike of symptoms?

Taurus xx

[BballJ]

Hi TBella,

Sorry to read what you are going through. It wouldn't be easy at all. Is there any place you have at all that you consider a relative safe place, even a friend or a family members house? It is very hard to up and move and I believe problems and issues have a way of following you especially mental ones. Nature is one thing that always seems to help many people who suffer from a mental illness so maybe a weekend away to try and regather your thoughts and emotions may be something required at the moment, is there a possibility for leave at the moment from your work place?

I don't have PTSD so I do apologise that I don't have the right advice for you but I wanted to reach out and offer my support to you. I hope you find this environment a safe place however.

My best for you,

Jay

[white knight]

Hi Tbella

Good replies from Jay and taurus.

I can sympathize with your need to escape the city world. In my 20's I did escape for days at a time but I was going from one extreme to the other...city to a hermit existence. I had to find my niche.

This is all explained in my thread you can google

Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

And

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

I hope you get some benefit from reading them. Post anytime.

Tony WK

[TBella]

Hi Jay & Taurus

thank you both for your response & reaching out to me, greatly appreciated.

im not trying to run away. I am fully aware that wherever I go, my PTSD, its symptoms & triggers will follow me. I'm stuck with it for life & will just have to learn to manage it best I can.

I also am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), which means all my senses are highly alert/sensitive to all stimuli & especially noise, it becomes overwhelming for me.

i didn't mean move out to whoop whoop, just out of the heart /centre of the city- away from hassle & bustle. I am desperate for change & travel. When I'm exploring & discover ing new places, being alone doesn't bother me so much.

as far as friends are concerned have none, except one who is in Europe at moment, everyone else left me when they found out I had PTSD! I have not heard from them in 6 years- guess their too busy playing church!

my family are definitely not emotionally safe place. Don't believe in mental illness- deny or minimises everything. I moved interstate to get away from toxic environment.

work is toxic place but trapped there until I find another way to pay bills & keep a roof over my head- another reason I want to move- rent here is too expensive.

I have 2 visits left with my Psychologist & then it's back to being alone with no support.

As for going away for few days, I can't financially afford to do that, plus I have no car, I walk everywhere.

oh well, guess it doesn't really matter.

Kind Regards

Tbella

[TBella]

Thank you Tony

i will check them out.

kind Regards

Tbella

[TBella]

Hi Jay & Taurus

Thank you for your response & for reaching out to me.

i did reply to you both but for some reason my post has not been posted yet. My apologies!

For some reason my posts seem to take up to 12 hours to be posted. If it hasn't been posted by tomorrow, I wil try to remember what I said & repost! Sorry I'm just not up to it at moment

with appreciation

Tbella

[Guest_9809]

Hi TBella, and thanks for your response to my last post. As you can see, it did finally come through. (-:

Not a lot I can say about your comments really, other than to say that I understand your predicament.

I do have a couple of suggestions and comments however.

I think you are on a Mental Health Care Plan if I recall correctly. So when you say that you have only 2 psych sessions remaining, I suppose you mean that you have used 8 so far this year? Because with the MHCP you get an initial 6 sessions subsidised by Medicare. But if you need more, you then see your GP again to request an additional 4 for the year. Your psychologist will write to your GP to let them know why the additional sessions are needed. So you get up to 10 sessions per year. So although you may only have 2 sessions left for this year, you will get (if deemed necessary) another 10 sessions next year again.

If your 10 sessions for the year are used up, I suggest you ask your GP whether you are eligible for additional sessions through what is called the ATAPS program. I believe that program allows up to 12 sessions per year, provided you meet the qualifying criteria.

Another option which may be open to you through your GP, is by way of a GP Care Plan for Chronic Disease Management (CDM). A chronic medical condition is one that has been present for six months or longer and CDM is designed for patients who require a structured approach and require ongoing care from a multidisciplinary team. Psychologists are included in the eligible options. However through the CDM you only get something like $55 per session reimbursed through Medicare. So its not ideal, but may present a fall back option if required.

It worries me that you feel that once your final 2 psych sessions are used, that you will then feel alone and without support. Please remember that we are available if you need to talk. I know its not the same as face to face discussion and therapy with your psych but, if that's not available, its a decent short term option in the interim.

I hope you are able to finally be in a position to find alternative employment, as it sounds to me as though that has been your main trigger of late.

I also note that you dont have a car, so if you are seriously considering moving from the inner-city, then you need to factor in transport and travel requirements. Time and cost involved in travel may be a factor in your decision making process.

Hope to hear back.

Taurus xx

[TBella]

Thanks Taurus

[BballJ]

Hi TBella,

I can't add much more as Taurus4826 has pretty much covered everything off which is great but wanted to re-enforce the idea that you are not alone, these forums are here for your support and as you can tell, you already have us in your corner supporting you, this is your thread and you can post here as much as you wish, we are always happy to reply and talk. Please do take on the above advice by Taurus4826, I think it is very good and valuable.

My best,

Jay