PTSD and Trauma

Partner and her past sexual abuse [trigger warning]

replies: 3

Hi BB, I have been with my partner a couple of years and recently just had a little boy together. About 4 weeks out from meeting my son, my partner dropped some pretty sad information on me, that she had been abused as a child from the age of 2 by a ... View more

Hi BB, I have been with my partner a couple of years and recently just had a little boy together. About 4 weeks out from meeting my son, my partner dropped some pretty sad information on me, that she had been abused as a child from the age of 2 by a family member and then gang raped by 3 men when she was 6 or 7 yrs old in PNG. She has depression and anxiety and we are working on getting a better diagnosis as Doctors believe she is suffering from more. I am not dealing well with things myself plus we have a little boy. Our son is well looked after and she a great mum but when it comes to everything else including us she is not able to handle it. I feel very alone as she zones off now and diasappears its seems. I touch her yesterday and she stated she feels gross when i touch her and look at her. Because she stated so many men have touched her she feels gross and uncomfortable when i do it. I can understand that. But im watching my relationship go down the drain. I want to be family i think she wants that but emotional she isnt there. about anything. except anger Anger is very present all the time.

Please help [trigger warning: domestic abuse]

replies: 2

Im 16, and since I was 4 years old, my dad has been very abusive. He doesn't hit me and my sister, although he is very aggressive. He treats my mother horribly however, when I was 4 I was standing right between them when he slapped/kicked her, that m... View more

Im 16, and since I was 4 years old, my dad has been very abusive. He doesn't hit me and my sister, although he is very aggressive. He treats my mother horribly however, when I was 4 I was standing right between them when he slapped/kicked her, that memory still bothers me. Earlier this year we moved out (my sister, me and mother) and lived on our own because he was getting overly abusive, but he would not leave us alone. He would park his car outside our house in the middle of the night, hop our fence and threaten us, etc. We had an order against him and his name and abuse has been recorded. A few months ago, my mother decided to move back in with him and try to fix things. It lasted for 2 weeks, then it all began again. The yelling, aggressiveness, lies, threats. He's stolen my money twice, taken pictures of my mothers bank card, and constantly withholds money. We are planning on leaving again, but there is mo way we could survive financially, we get welfare payments, but its only about $400...barley enough to pay rent and WiFi (for my school) and I just don't feel safe...i'm scared he will murder my mom, hurt us, etc, and even if w do get an order against him or send him for jail for the things he's done, i'm scared when he gets out he's going to find us. I'm just so lost and scared, this has been going on for forever, and i'm just so tired..can anyone give me advice on what to do? Thanks

Christmas woetide!

replies: 3

I was diagnosed with PTSD after workplace incidences over 10 years ago and really haven't progressed since. My other family members I had to cut out of my life after last Christmas when my youngest brother who is 36 years old was again became violent... View more

I was diagnosed with PTSD after workplace incidences over 10 years ago and really haven't progressed since. My other family members I had to cut out of my life after last Christmas when my youngest brother who is 36 years old was again became violent towards me and threatened me after we were trying to have a discussion about him running up my mothers bills to $1400 a quarter and refusing to pay for them or any board whilst he was living there. My mother sat there and basically allowed him to attack me, bringing up things from when I first became sick years ago and how they all felt sorry for my daughter having a bad mum like me. I left when he threatened to kick my arse outside and my mother just told me to leave and it was my fault because I should have shut my mouth. When I got home, my mother rang me to remind me not to tell my aunt and uncle about my brothers behaviour as they and other extended family are unaware that for over 20 years he has been in and out of Youth Detention Centres and Remand centres for serious crimes for violence, drugs and burglaries. When another aunt died earlier this year who I was the closest to, my mother out of nastiness said I was not required at the funeral and then wonders why I will not speak to her as it was done out of pure nastiness. So for the past year I have had nothing to do with my family. I still send presents to each of the nieces and nephews and my daughter would still go to their birthdays when invited, even though I was not invited. My mother tends to play each child against the other, so my sister has cut me out of their lives believing that I have ignored my mother for no reason and are punishing her for our brothers behaviour. We have another brother who walked away from the family over ten years ago due to this other brother as well and it appears my mother would rather lose the 'decent' children than ask the troubled brother to leave. Fast forward to Christmas and my only daughter in her 20's has decided to spend Christmas with my family, leaving me home alone all day as she is too scared to say no to avoid trouble as they sent her nasty messages when she did not celebrate her birthday with them. I am deeply wounded and just feel like just running away as I feel like I am being punished for this time not accepting the family violence as in the past I have so they did not cut me off. Why do bad people always win?

Relationship Advice, Emotional Abuse?

replies: 5

I’m 17 years old, I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. At the start of the year I began talking to a guy on online and we became close, he told me he was single, I later found out he wasn’t and I stopped all contact with him. He ... View more

I’m 17 years old, I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. At the start of the year I began talking to a guy on online and we became close, he told me he was single, I later found out he wasn’t and I stopped all contact with him. He broke up with his girlfriend and sent me an apology, I ignored him but gradually we began talking again and about 3 months ago started dating. At first, I thought his attentiveness was sweet but it’s become a worry. He won't stop texting me, I have to talk to him until he falls asleep, if I don’t respond to a message straight away he freaks out, he rings me at 5:00 am and wakes me up, if I tell him I want some time to spend with my family he texts me non-stop and tells me I don’t care about him. I recently went out with a male friend he messaged me over 30 times and rang me 9 times in 2 hours, he was angry at me even though he goes out with his female best friend all the time. On Thursday I went out with my male friend, my boyfriend knew I was doing this and said he was fine with it. When I got home I rang my boyfriend as he wanted and he asked what I had done that day, I told him what we did including that I went to my friend’s house for about an hour. That evening I met up with my boyfriend to see a movie but instead he asked me to go to a nearby park with him, so he could eat before the movie began. On the way there he told me I dress like a slut and accused me of going off with other guys. When we got to the park he snapped, he accused me of not telling him that I had been to my friend’s house. I told him that I did tell him, and he said, “but you didn’t ask my permission” I asked how it was any different to him seeing his female friend and he told me “it’s different”. He was yelling at me so I wanted to leave. When I tried to, he grabbed my bag and phone and pulled it off me, he then grabbed hold of my wrists with force. I am petite he is big, I was scared and began crying, he started to hug me and he told me he was sorry, he “didn’t mean it”, “he’d had a bad day” he then gave me a gift. Things have been tense but yesterday he went to a GP to seek help, and was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bi-polar disorder and multiple personality disorder, I am a bit doubtful of this as he has a past history of lying. He keeps telling me he loves me and will change. I think I have become dependent on him and am scared to be without him but also I am scared to be with him. I would really appreciated some advice.

Abusive ex has applied for a DVO

replies: 1

Hi all. I went through a BU 3 months ago. Having had much counselling I came to realise he was emotionally abusive resulting in me losing confidence & self esteem. 2 weeks ago he took out a temp protection order and DVO against me as we had an argume... View more

Hi all. I went through a BU 3 months ago. Having had much counselling I came to realise he was emotionally abusive resulting in me losing confidence & self esteem. 2 weeks ago he took out a temp protection order and DVO against me as we had an argument in which there was a scuffle and as I was emotionally hurting some horrible language. I have been temporarily stopped from attending a social swim group until court date in late January. I am anxious and feel I am being manipulated into leaving the shared swim group which has supported me through the BU. Legally there are options but fighting it will cost thousands and Ican't afford it. I feel lost and isolated.I'm in a world of hurt as I feel he has used the incident to be vindictive to purposefully isolate me from a much needed support group. I had just started healing and now feel this has set me back and I am once again under his control with very limited options. I dont qualify for Legal Aid.

Maybe its me (domestic violence)

replies: 2

Hi all, so as the title suggests I'm new here and honestly im a little uneasy about it all. However I feel it hard to turn to anybody else and I'm hoping someone can give me some insight.. I'm 33, married for almost 9 years, but this relationship has... View more

Hi all, so as the title suggests I'm new here and honestly im a little uneasy about it all. However I feel it hard to turn to anybody else and I'm hoping someone can give me some insight.. I'm 33, married for almost 9 years, but this relationship has never been smooth sailing. He used to be very possessive, arrogant, domineering, he loses his temper and puts me down. Yes it has gotten better but still happens. I now have 2 kids, and we have a pretty big mortgage as I'm not yet back to work- hopefully next year. So finance has become a HUGE issue in our relationship along with in law issues which in turn has created us to both withdraw from each other. I'm so confused and alone and so not feeling wanted. Im really wanting some advice from a male perspective. I have also made mistakes in this relationship that I live with everydaybut I'm trying to make it work for our kids but I'm just not sure I could ever be fully happy...

Slipping back for another reason

replies: 1

Hi. Havent posted for quite sometime , but right now just feel I need to vent a bit. Thought a past incident had been buried, but the anger over how it was managed by my imediate manager has resurfaced. So here goes. 18 months or so ago I was involve... View more

Hi. Havent posted for quite sometime , but right now just feel I need to vent a bit. Thought a past incident had been buried, but the anger over how it was managed by my imediate manager has resurfaced. So here goes. 18 months or so ago I was involved in a critical incident at work on the road when I came across a near fatal accident as a community nurse. Its taken time, psychologist x2(I changed) and treatment to get over this, and the waves of panic whenI see ambulances with sirens/ lights are decreasing. At the time of the incident I was not offered critical incident debriefing (though my incident report claimed I got it), and my unit manager didnt really acknowledge this as a stressful event for me. Fast forward 12 months, new unit manager now, and aggression towards health care workers campaign/community education well underway. A patient I visited at home was verbally agressive towards me, yelling at me, offloading how unhappy she was with our service. I can put up with rude patients, and am an experienced nuurse, but this really upset me at the time. I reported it to the office when it happened, and filled in an incident report. When I met with my manager I requested she ring the patient and explain that this is not acceptable behavour ( not an unreasonable request? To show support to me?) She didnt think it necessary! and left it to the next nurse visiting the next day to raise the incident with the patient All I was offered was EAP counselling, which I declined as I was seeing my psycholigist . We are still seeing this pt,at home, I have been there once since, while she was pleasant, I felt uneasy , but trying to move on. So last week a general email is sent out to all hospital staff from the CEO outlining agression managent and how every incident will be treated as cat.1 or 2 now , and the staff involved will be sent a letter of support from the CEO. among other things. I just feel that theres policies made to look good but the reality to me is, they are not followed. Just feeling this incident has blown up again in my face. Taking a few days off work now. Being kind to myself , just feeling I need to vent now and get support. sorry for the long tirade!

Emotionally abusive husband, possibly NPD or Asperger's

replies: 12

Married 8 years, young when we married (22) & early on in our relationship he would drink a lot & often get angry with me, be verbally abusive telling me he hated me & regretted marrying me (often done in front of friends and/or family) & walk out an... View more

Married 8 years, young when we married (22) & early on in our relationship he would drink a lot & often get angry with me, be verbally abusive telling me he hated me & regretted marrying me (often done in front of friends and/or family) & walk out and be missing for 18+hrs & returning home and expecting everything to be fine. I would tell him how is actions hurt me & he would make it out like it was my fault in the first place or totally shut me down and belittle me for feeling that way, like I had no right. This stopped & he rarely drinks now & we've been doing very well and for the most part been really happy. He is very focused on saving and getting setup for life, hoping to retire before 50 (this is a target we've agreed on together). I went away for the weekend with a girl friend of mine, a trip we make evey year, before leaving we had spoken about the use of our joint account for spending with me stating any money taken from savings would be repaid, on my return he was very distant & the next day he told me he was unhappy with how much money I had spent & that he felt like I had betrayed him & I might as well have cheated on him. He then told me he had already packed a bag & was leaving me to go to a hotel as he didn't want to be around me and was no longer sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. A few days later I asked him to come home so we could talk, he told me I could have 1 hour of his time. When he arrived I told him I thought the whole thing was an overreaction as I'd said all money would be returned & I couldn't understand why he left. I asked him to stay & let me repay the money, he told me he didn't trust me & didn't know what he wanted, and left.We barely spoke over the next few days & I spent the next week coming to terms with the fact he had left me. I returned to work the following week.I returned home from work that evening to find him sitting in our living room like nothing happened. I was really angry. He had put his motorcycle away in the garage to hide the fact he was home and was expecting me to be pleased with his little 'surprise' homecoming. I told him how much walking out on me again had hurt me and he basically told me it was all my fault and I deserved it, and that I had no right to be angry at him. I spoke to my mum via Skype when he left and she advised me to get out, he has over the years been mentally and emotionally abusive (never physically), my mum is a medical professional and thinks he possibly has Asperger's.

Triggers from the past Trigger Warning:Sexual Assault

replies: 6

So this is always a hard subject to tell anyone . And was one of the hardest things I have ever done . It was to tell someone about when I was molested . So I’m a guy and buy being a male I already feel like I have failed by writing this , like I sho... View more

So this is always a hard subject to tell anyone . And was one of the hardest things I have ever done . It was to tell someone about when I was molested . So I’m a guy and buy being a male I already feel like I have failed by writing this , like I should be strong and have no problems, it’s actually quite embarrassing to be honest . Long story short when I was in year 7 or 8 a guy at my school in year 12 continually grabbed me at least 10 times and shoved his hands up my shirt to grab my man boobs , whilst making inappropriate movements towards me. He would squeeze me so tight that I couldn’t move , I would just freeze unable to do anything afraid he would get violent .I was a chubby kid and was always so scared of this guy and tried to avoid him. Growing up I only believed he was a bully however when you get older and reflect on things , you can see clearer and understand that this has seriously impacted me , yea he never touched my genitals but to me he still affected my self image even to this day I struggle with that . And even that in it self is a struggle because I feel there are much more worse of people then me , people get raped and here I am trying to say how hard I have had it ..... I can usually just not think about what happened , because it makes me angry , however I have a new problem . When me and my girlfriend get intimate there can sometimes be problems she will just be loving and sometimes you know accidentally touch my nipples . I instantly take her hands away from them and it wrecks the mood completely . “it happened so long ago “ “ are you sure it even happened “ “ it’s not even that bad “ . Is what is usually said. I know it’s not her fault but that just makes me feel even worse . The problem I have is I don’t want to accept the fact that I am a victim and I don’t want the stigma that society associates men who have been abused will abuse. I know I need to work on things but I think writing this here is a positive step , and it makes me feel good that I can vent , because I feel I can’t ever do that

I'm unable to cope

replies: 1

I have been having flashbacks for the first time in two years. I thought they stopped. I am so driven into the ground by people who what feels like a short time ago where on my side to hold them back and now are provoking me when im already distresse... View more

I have been having flashbacks for the first time in two years. I thought they stopped. I am so driven into the ground by people who what feels like a short time ago where on my side to hold them back and now are provoking me when im already distressed. Critizing me when im crying. This is the reality im failing to cope with.

Pinned discussions

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

All discussions

Partner and her past sexual abuse [trigger warning]

replies: 3

Please help [trigger warning: domestic abuse]

replies: 2

Christmas woetide!

replies: 3

Relationship Advice, Emotional Abuse?

replies: 5

Abusive ex has applied for a DVO

replies: 1

Maybe its me (domestic violence)

replies: 2

Slipping back for another reason

replies: 1

Emotionally abusive husband, possibly NPD or Asperger's

replies: 12

Triggers from the past Trigger Warning:Sexual Assault

replies: 6

I'm unable to cope

replies: 1

PTSD and trauma

PTSD for Medical and First Responders replies: 276

Partner and her past sexual abuse [trigger warning] replies: 3

Please help [trigger warning: domestic abuse] replies: 2

Christmas woetide! replies: 3

Relationship Advice, Emotional Abuse? replies: 5

Abusive ex has applied for a DVO replies: 1

Maybe its me (domestic violence) replies: 2

Slipping back for another reason replies: 1

Emotionally abusive husband, possibly NPD or Asperger's replies: 12

Triggers from the past *Trigger Warning:Sexual Assault* replies: 6

I'm unable to cope replies: 1

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

Partner and her past sexual abuse [trigger warning]

replies: 3

Please help [trigger warning: domestic abuse]

replies: 2

Christmas woetide!

replies: 3

Relationship Advice, Emotional Abuse?

replies: 5

Abusive ex has applied for a DVO

replies: 1

Maybe its me (domestic violence)

replies: 2

Slipping back for another reason

replies: 1

Emotionally abusive husband, possibly NPD or Asperger's

replies: 12

Triggers from the past Trigger Warning:Sexual Assault

replies: 6

I'm unable to cope

replies: 1