PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
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Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Mums_heartbrake In desperate need of grief counselling/advice
  • replies: 2

We lost our 21yr old daughter to a road trauma accident, I had 'the knock at the door',then taken to the hospital to 'see her..she wasn't conscious; she was being prepped to go to Perth via the RAC helicopter - major priority. I went and saw the site... View more

We lost our 21yr old daughter to a road trauma accident, I had 'the knock at the door',then taken to the hospital to 'see her..she wasn't conscious; she was being prepped to go to Perth via the RAC helicopter - major priority. I went and saw the site and car wreck...horrible, but I felt the need. I had to phone her Father ( we are divorced, but ok), and then her older sister, at work - and say that things are not looking good. She was in an induced coma. Travel time for me to get there to her, was at least 2hrs plus, trying to get stuff together to stay..... It was only the day before, that I had spoken to her to say that our closest family freind had passed - the one who I'd turn to now...my best freind, for over 30years...and knew everything about me, and loved the girls dearly.....I'm sooo lost now, I was soo close to Eme...I really am over it all, not suicidal.....but the pain I'm feeling, I'm not able to deal with....but I still have my two daughters, and my partner..pls can someone help me!! Eating is hit and miss, as is going to work: and I don't get paid when I don't go.......I'm soo miserable!!!

Harmony61 Life beyond grief
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I am new to the group to cut my story short I am on my own with my 15 yr old son,after years of caring for others I am know facing a chanellege with my son who is struggling he has witness the passing of his grandparents and how cruel the system is n... View more

I am new to the group to cut my story short I am on my own with my 15 yr old son,after years of caring for others I am know facing a chanellege with my son who is struggling he has witness the passing of his grandparents and how cruel the system is no family support from other family members and social isolation not because of him but where we reside it hurts to see him struggle his self imagine is shot his focuses on his teeth ,eats very little and has a negative outlook.I struggle as I have not come to terms with my issues of grief and i am not effective to keep calm bugger I would say its a problem we also do home schooling which doesnt go down well by some family members so we are already on the outer my son is everything to me as children are extensions of us and for me I would like to see him succeed and be a happy person but at the moment my son has a dark cloud hanging over him I have made appointment for him at Headspace in Sept but its till then our day to day is a slight struggle.

b_l_u_e_b_e_l_l_ Triggered by my own child.
  • replies: 9

It's devastating to write this... but I need help and don't know what to do. I have a long history of trauma / abuse and have recently begun with a new psychologist for severe depression & anxiety which have plagued me for most of my life. I'm not we... View more

It's devastating to write this... but I need help and don't know what to do. I have a long history of trauma / abuse and have recently begun with a new psychologist for severe depression & anxiety which have plagued me for most of my life. I'm not well... it's affecting every aspect of my life. I've started medication but I don't think it's working yet. My children are young... and two of them have sensory issues and one in particular is CONSTANTLY touching me. Climbing one me..clawing at me...jumping on me... sitting on me. I've tried to set boundaries but he cries and feels rejected. That is all an issue in itself that needs addressing.... but for now the urgent need is me - my reaction to his touch. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself that he is my child and just needs me.... the physical reaction in my body is that I need to escape him. I go tense..my heart races and I just need to get him away from me. It's horrible... and he doesn't deserve the reaction he is getting. I don't know what to do. It's another week before I see my therapist. My partner knows it's difficult for me but has never been able to understand the magnitude of my history... he has had a very "nice" life. I have not. I feel alone..and guilty.. and it makes me question my whole world. I'm not who I want to be.... I hate living like this and can't see a way out. How can I undo the triggering from him? I don't ever want my children to suffer because of me... I'm worried it's too late for that - but I have to try. I just don't know how.

Pot-Kettle- After 3 and a half decades, it seems to matter now!
  • replies: 7

Hello, first time poster! 40 year old male here. I'll try and keep it concise. When I was at pre-school, aged about 4 years old, something happened to me, that 30 years later, became apparently more abusive, than just something that just happened to ... View more

Hello, first time poster! 40 year old male here. I'll try and keep it concise. When I was at pre-school, aged about 4 years old, something happened to me, that 30 years later, became apparently more abusive, than just something that just happened to "all kids". It wasn't a memory that overwhelmed me, or even plagued me for many years, it was just "one of those things", until about 7 years ago, I randomly shared the experience with friends, to somewhat shocked responses. I instantly played it down as a "mis-memory" so to speak but the memory has no begun to really bother me, 3 and a half decades later. I have a memory of being taken into a room at pre-school, being made to get naked and then "examined". I remember it as being under the pretense of a medical examination, by a visiting nurse but have no idea consciously, who it was. So for me, this became what happened to every kid, when the nurse came to visit for health check-ups. Many years Iater I shared this with my friends and NOBODY else had this experience. Some were a bit more like WTF? Does anyone else in or from Tasmania, know if this actually was "standard procedure" in the early 1980's? Because part of me is hanging onto the thread that it was just a "medical check-up" but the fact that it's always been a moment in my life that made me feel uncomfortable enough to never forget it and the lack of other peers having the same experience, is making me think the worst and question the whole issue! Sorry, not very concise in the end but any thoughts ir advice aporeciated. Thank you. P.K.

TBella Desperately needing a safe place conflict free
  • replies: 12

I have been struggling for the last two weeks. There is a work situation where my boss is under investigation for abusive behaviour to both children & staff. There has been so much conflict around me & im not allowed to talk about it with anyone, whi... View more

I have been struggling for the last two weeks. There is a work situation where my boss is under investigation for abusive behaviour to both children & staff. There has been so much conflict around me & im not allowed to talk about it with anyone, which has triggered the PTSD & anxiety in me. It has left me feeling unsafe triggering memories of my last boss who was violent & abusive to me. And also childhood memories of never feeling safe. Right now, i am so desperate for a safe place, somewhere I can hide & find a safe place of comfort. i have also been noticing that since having PTSD, the city life doesn't seem to suit me. I am longing for a less fast paced, noisy, superficial world. I'm longing for peace, calmness, getting back to the basics & closer to nature. Somewhere tranquil. Im wondering if anyone else who has PTSD, found this & moved. Do you think it would benefit my mental health to move? Kind Regards TBella

Migalu_H Hi im new so will do a small into
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Hi everyone. Im 33, mum of 5 (2 bio children and 3 step children). Ive been with my partner for nearly 6 years. Ive been married n divorced from my kids dad since 2009. My ex husband was very abusive n violent to me. i have been exposed to abuse, tor... View more

Hi everyone. Im 33, mum of 5 (2 bio children and 3 step children). Ive been with my partner for nearly 6 years. Ive been married n divorced from my kids dad since 2009. My ex husband was very abusive n violent to me. i have been exposed to abuse, torture and friends commiting suicide n finding their bodies. I have not been exposed to any form of violence or abuse since being with my current partner. My children are not in my care and im doing everything i can to get their care restored. I have enxperience n training in trauma care and helping people heal from childhood abuse and trauma. Im currently doing courses on mental health. I also have some understanding of the Autism spectrum as both my children have been diagnosed with Autism and im wanting to get myself tested for autism as well. i have alot of passion about helping people out when they are at their lowest point in life. I know what its like to have no support and no friends. Im here for anyone and will answer any questions to the best of my ability, i am non-judgemental and also have experience helping the aboriginal and lgbt out. I prefer to be called my indigenous name which is Migalu or Miggi for short. Thanks for taking the time to read my intro. Have a great day or try the best you can for it to be a good day.

Mikky Need help
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Anyone out there now who can help me with my ptsd, bi polar2 and dealing with horrendous recent traumatic events?? beaten axiety with daily use of cbt.... but need advice help without going on specifs re receng trauma. Feel so lost, broken and destro... View more

Anyone out there now who can help me with my ptsd, bi polar2 and dealing with horrendous recent traumatic events?? beaten axiety with daily use of cbt.... but need advice help without going on specifs re receng trauma. Feel so lost, broken and destroyed.

Pip25 Feeling Lost
  • replies: 3

I had a session with my psychiatrist this week which left me feeling really down. I was previously in a domestic violence relationship on and off for many years. I took the step to seek help earlier this year which I found really hard. I was diagnose... View more

I had a session with my psychiatrist this week which left me feeling really down. I was previously in a domestic violence relationship on and off for many years. I took the step to seek help earlier this year which I found really hard. I was diagnosed with PTSD and have been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for treatment. I've had a few sessions with my psychiatrist and she's told me it's been about a year since I saw my abuser and I need to let it go and move on. When I expressed that I finding it difficult to do this she questioned if I still had feelings for him. She appears frustrated with me and said that her other clients on the same medication have made more progress. I feel like I'm failing at getting better, even though I'm trying really hard. I don't know how to just let it go and I still experience panic attacks and flashbacks on a regular basis. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to get better quicker. I just feel lost right now and don't know what to do.

startingnew carers guilt and grief
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Hi everyone So i was a carer for my nan for about 2 yrs maybe more and we were really close ans when i began caring for her became closer who passed away two years ago now. . I wasnt really able to grieve at the time as i was tyring to hold my pop wh... View more

Hi everyone So i was a carer for my nan for about 2 yrs maybe more and we were really close ans when i began caring for her became closer who passed away two years ago now. . I wasnt really able to grieve at the time as i was tyring to hold my pop whom im now a carer for my mum together and making sure everyone needs were met. im having so many regrets about what i should have done whati should have said what i should have changed. I feel selfish alot of the time because every now and then i would go out with a friend and i really regret it now. My nan had many illnesses including cancer so i went to all of her appointments and made sure she was ok. It hurts me everyday. I miss her so much. I get alot of flash back esp of the year before like Christmas and birthdays easter and all the rest of the occasions. She was in a wheelchair and home oxygen 24/7 as she had bad lungs from copd. So it did make it hard for her to go out when she was getting worse I get flashbacks of the night i stayed at their house and i heard my pop completley break down and found my nan slumped in the wheelchair in the bathroom as thats how she got around She was so weak and couldnt even hold herself up so i had to while calling am ambulance calling my who was 10 min drive away and help pop keep it together. It hurts me every single day. I also have the last memory of my nan in the hospital amd as i was leaving she gave me a little smile and a wave and off we went. She died 2am that next morning.

Clare2 I need help, please
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Hi, I need help.. i don't no what to do ive had depression since I was in year 7, trying to find who I was was really hard, I had learning difficulties but I didn't have a select group, I was friends with everyone in my year. then year 9 came and I s... View more

Hi, I need help.. i don't no what to do ive had depression since I was in year 7, trying to find who I was was really hard, I had learning difficulties but I didn't have a select group, I was friends with everyone in my year. then year 9 came and I saw myself being more rebellious and would lie heaps with my mum. year 11 and 12 came and I did VCAL because I couldn't see myself getting through VCE. I mixed in with the wrong group and started doing drugs and drinking heaps, I lost all of my friends because of one night I took drugs and ended up on the bathroom floor of a club unconscious. after school I hung out with my sister because I had no one I met one of her friends and I then had a boyfriend for 4 years so I wasn't lonely but then I was because he mentally abused me by cheating on me constantly so I had self doubt because I didn't think I was good enough. we broke up got back together broke up and then finally I cut him out of my life I went over seas to America and it was amazing I loved it I met so many people and then I came home poor and back to how things where before. I worked so hard and then had enough and moved for the snow season, loved that and met a girl that I liked she was seeing someone while seeing me and chose her over me when we left to go back to our life's. I met one her friends and her friend liked me we where best friends but I couldn't give her what she wanted I had depression again and went on medication for it I joined the gym and tried to get fit I then worked heaps but always got put down at work so that was bad too then saved up enough and went to Europe was was amazing I loved it met great people found myself and was just loving life.. Then I was raped and my life was over, it was someone I knew that I trusted.. i got a boyfriend for the wrong reasons we never really had sex he didn't get it, but kept saying he did, we broke up I met a girl that I loved and made me happy and had a connection with I felt safe and could actually have sex with, she doesn't want a relationship because she came out of one and didn't want to be tied down to anything..i was broken and now I'm in a rut I don't do anything I just have melt downs and I don't know what to do because everything I try do is to scared to because what happens if I'm noticed by guys if I look to sexual I don't want to be looked at. im on anti depressants and there not helping.. i need help to be happy again