I have had depression for as long as I can remember.. well, more precisely since school holidays transitioning from year 6 to 7 (high school). My sisters long-term boyfriend who was staying at our house came into my room late at night and tried to touch me inappropriately. I told him to back off and nothing came of it. I did tell my family (I’m the youngest of 5) and shit hit the fan. My sister went to live with him after finding out - I guess she was very much in love, didn’t want to believe it was true, and didn’t want to live with my annoying ass family. Realistically, she was in her own depressed slumber and couldn’t get out.
A few years later she did realise that he was a bad person. She came home to live with my family again - at the time I was a teenager and was certain I’d never forgive her. But I did about 6 months later cos at the end of the day, she was the cooler of two sisters! My eldest sister was a mega bitch, selfish and jealous.
Nonetheless.. my sister took a downward spiral in continuing to make poor choices in men. She ended up with a prescription drug addiction from which was mostly a somatic disorder - believing she had heart issues she didn’t have. A bad doctor prescribed her medicine continually even though she shouldn’t have got it. She abused her body for over 7 years of prescription medication and ended up passing away from an overdose. She left behind her 10 year old daughter. We all saw her going downhill and she refused help.
That was just over a year ago since she died. Prior to that one of my brothers tried committing suicide (a few times) and was admitted to hospital after a public arrest from attempted suicide. He’s now pretending his life is awesome.
I have had crippling anxiety especially towards work for 6 years. I always prepare myself for the worst and go over scenarios with people before and after social encounters.
I put my resignation in at work yesterday. My boss is giving me the cold shoulder. It’s making things way worse for my anxiety. At work they think it’s the ‘pinnacle’ of the industry in which I work, its difficult to get into, and frankly you can take it as easy as you want. I’m slightly more ambitious and hard working aside from my regular depression which I do my best to hide. I guess I thought I’d be better supported during my departure given that they said so many good things about me prior to my resignation.
