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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Scooba Ptsd and being in a relationship
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone this is my first post but after desperately searching for some information about how my ptsd impacts my relationship i thought id reach out here to people that have ptsd and are in a relationsip. Im very aware that i struggle with feeling... View more

Hi everyone this is my first post but after desperately searching for some information about how my ptsd impacts my relationship i thought id reach out here to people that have ptsd and are in a relationsip. Im very aware that i struggle with feeling... Does it make sense to anyone else that has ptsd that you know you love someone (know in your head) but dont feel anything? I battle within myself constantly questioning myself...asking can it be love if i dont feel anything? Can i shut off and feel nothing and be in love with him? How do i know if im in love or not? obviously i dont feel i could talk to him about this when i dont understand it myself..plus how can i talk to him say these things without completely hurting him... I didnt have ptsd until age 25 so my relationship pre ptsd was NOTHING like the one i have now with ptsd...i dont understand my feelings or emotions and how i meant to know if im in love with him...we have been together 2 years so its not a new relationship. I would really value anyones help who can relate or has some knowledge of where i am coming from and how to accept or understand this and know if its love or not:/

annawave Struggling with stalker ex-boyfriend
  • replies: 3

Hi all. First time poster so I'm a bit nervous.. Last year I've had to deal with my ex-boyfriend stalking me and not leaving me alone after we had broken up. Long story short he had messaged me non-stop, trespassed into my house late at night to knoc... View more

Hi all. First time poster so I'm a bit nervous.. Last year I've had to deal with my ex-boyfriend stalking me and not leaving me alone after we had broken up. Long story short he had messaged me non-stop, trespassed into my house late at night to knock on my window and have visited me at work a few times up until I was fearing for my safety. I finally managed to get in contact with the authorities and have managed to get a personal safety intervention order in November. For the most part it felt very surreal at the time and I didn't think that I could fully embrace what was happening. I keep thinking that he could just show up at my house any time of the night. I couldn't sleep at the thought that he would knock on my window again at 3am in the morning. This would go on for many nights throughout the week. Because I still live with my parents it was hard to tell them that I think I needed to see someone about what was happening to me as they don't really believe in counselling. Up until now I feel like I've been repressing all these thoughts and feelings that now I feel like it's all slowly catching up to me. I feel even more constantly paranoid before going to bed and now I think it has gotten worse to the point where I can't sleep with the lights off. I've spoken to my friends about what has happened but I feel like now that some time has passed everyone else has moved on from what has happened but I'm still stuck. During the day I feel like it isn't as bad but once I'm in bed at night is when I feel the worst. Sometimes the smallest sounds or breeze of wind from outside would keep me up in thinking that what if it's him hanging around my backyard.. I feel embarrassed that if I go see my GP it feels like I've left it too late. I've had to take time off uni and I'm just really struggling since I've never had to seek out help before and it's all so new and daunting I wouldn't even know what to say. Thank you so much for taking even a bit of your time to read my post.

AdriftAnnie Psychologist told me being a victim of DV was my fault
  • replies: 9

Hi, I’ve just left my first session with a new psychologist and i’m feeling so upset by what he said that I needed to post. After detailing my relationship history with my husband which has been marred by over a decade of verbal, psychological and mo... View more

Hi, I’ve just left my first session with a new psychologist and i’m feeling so upset by what he said that I needed to post. After detailing my relationship history with my husband which has been marred by over a decade of verbal, psychological and more recently physical and sexual abuse, I was told that if I don’t leave after he has shown me his true colours then I am just as responsible for the violence that may be inflicted on me. He also told me that the problem was our “dynamic” was wrong and that if my husband was with someone else then he probably wouldn’t be violent. i’m absolutely flabbergasted that a mental health professional would have these opinions. They seem so outdated and dangerous to me. I didn’t speak up at the time as it took a while for what he said to sink in. Now i’m back to blaming myself for what has happened to me. Am I being overly sensitive or was he wrong to say those things?

Thekracken Realising I have PTSD
  • replies: 3

Hi I’m new here and I’ve just today realised I have PTSD (self diagnosed) Background: my parents divorced when I was I think 7 and it was a really messy divorce that multiple times needed to be worked out through court. I was also molested by a famil... View more

Hi I’m new here and I’ve just today realised I have PTSD (self diagnosed) Background: my parents divorced when I was I think 7 and it was a really messy divorce that multiple times needed to be worked out through court. I was also molested by a family member around the same time. (I’m now 18) For as long as I can remember I’ve had anxiety, it started off with me just being very shy then it developed further. I only realised a couple of years ago that it was just more then me being shy. It was only last year when I realised I also probably have depression, I can’t really remember how it started it just kind of did. I do remember feeling really unhappy for a long time though. I have figured for a while that my anxiety and depression had stemmed from my traumatic childhood but I had never thought of putting a label on it until now. I never used to consider that I had PTSD because I never thought that what I had been through would be considered traumatic, even though I have always felt traumatised by what had happened. I’m considering seeking help from a doctor but even thinking about it makes me anxious, I do need help though. I’m not really sure why I decided to write and post this, I guess I just wanted some form of support. Thanks for reading!

BOC64 Feeling as though I am falling
  • replies: 2

Hi I am a sufferer of PTSD, depression etc. with most of the typical issues from childhood abuse and seeing my mother abused by my father. I have on quite a few occasions woken in fright from feeling like I am falling from a great height. I avoid exp... View more

Hi I am a sufferer of PTSD, depression etc. with most of the typical issues from childhood abuse and seeing my mother abused by my father. I have on quite a few occasions woken in fright from feeling like I am falling from a great height. I avoid exposed heights as I am not sure what I will do and I wonder if these two things are related.

Robin_D Living with a partner who has PTSD, anxiety and depression
  • replies: 2

Hi, my partner suffers from all of the above and has done so for 25 years. Our relationship is about 18 months old, so this is all new to me.I am trying to find someone that is in a similar situation that I can ask questions of. My partner is a Vietn... View more

Hi, my partner suffers from all of the above and has done so for 25 years. Our relationship is about 18 months old, so this is all new to me.I am trying to find someone that is in a similar situation that I can ask questions of. My partner is a Vietnam Vet and also had lived on his own for 22 years before me, mostly due to his issues. I'm mostly fine with the situation, but he does shut down, and shut me out and I want to know if this is normal. We can go out for dinner with friends and you would never know that there is an issue and the minute we get in the car to go home, he stops talking and doesn't start again. We can go a full day with 10 words exchanged between us. Then there are days when he is fine and nothing is wrong. I guess I just need some feedback! Cheers.

Guest_672 Am i alone in feeling this? "TRIGGER WARNING"
  • replies: 9

Does anyone else have constant guilt from not being able to protect others from there abuser??? I just saw a picture online of my pedophile dad and he's still active in society doing as he pleases without a care in the world. My hearts pounding, tear... View more

Does anyone else have constant guilt from not being able to protect others from there abuser??? I just saw a picture online of my pedophile dad and he's still active in society doing as he pleases without a care in the world. My hearts pounding, tears are welling up but won't come out, depressions building up. He's got at least a few adult victims including myself. He was charged when i was a teenager but let go. I feel its my fault if someone else is abused because i can't stop him. Ive tried crimestoppers so many times. I even once put an add on gumtree to warn people of him. I even called police to my house yrs ago to discuss it and when i said what if i get a taped confession? they said criminals have rights, i said so my dog has more legal rights than i do? they said yes and walked out. Im the one living in constant torment from his sexual and psychological abuse but hes happy. I recently had a ex friends friend abuse me for not doing enough to get him in jail. I always say to others in a similar situation its not your fault but when it comes to me sometimes i feel like it is.

Strong_Heart Terrified of Belonging, Unable to Enjoy Anything or Feel Happy
  • replies: 1

Dear Community, I need help. This is my first post. I have lost who I was and is so hard to move forward into who I want to be. I'm barely getting through my days. I feel terrified and blocked to belong here. I came to Australia 2 years ago from Nort... View more

Dear Community, I need help. This is my first post. I have lost who I was and is so hard to move forward into who I want to be. I'm barely getting through my days. I feel terrified and blocked to belong here. I came to Australia 2 years ago from North America, and met the most wonderful partner. I had a physically and emotionally abusive family growing up and quickly learned to be independent. I healed over 15 years by studying meditation and other therapies. I even feel others do that. After I moved in with my partner, everything changed. I remembered something awful about what happened. I remembered a worse trauma than I thought I had experienced, of sexual abuse and my life physically being threatened at age 4. I thought I would die. And more than one caretaker/parent witnessed and didn't protect me. So now I understand why I have rejected belonging. It's so hard to trust my partner. He's very loyal and patient and loving, and intellectually I know I can. After a lifetime, 34 years of rejecting belonging for what I now see as good reason, i'm being blessed with an opportunity to create a new chosen family. And I just can't seem to do it. It's been 9 months of processing this memory. What was first blissful true love now feels like constant fear, terror, panic. The more he loves me, the more my body wants to reject it. I want to trust feeling good in belonging, but all I've ever known is family who betrays you in every way, by almost every single one of them. I literally can't enjoy my favorite things anymore, dancing, feeling others, being with my partner. Its really disheartening. I'm afraid this will go on forever. I've been working with mindfulness, affirmations, writing. I've worked with 3 therapists since I remembered spending 5k in 6 mos. It's too much. And not enough progress. accepting the pace is terrifying. I'm 36 and I want kids too. I just can't see putting a child through this and I can't see an end to the heaviness. the hardest bit it remembering who I was when we first met just a couple years ago, so happy, so vivacious, so fun. I'm missing enjoying these moments with my love, they are passing me by. I'm losing time. I feel powerless. It's awful. It's like I'm wasting all of this because I can only feel and think negatively about it, and attack it and him sometimes! It's so painful. Do you have any ideas of what can help? Thank you in advance* Love, ♥

Jamielee Not sure if some form of ptsd or dissociation
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I’m a 20 year old girl who’s had a history of depression and at one point , hospitalised for anorexia nervous but fully recovered and thrived afterwards , I’ve always somewhat been over stimulated mentally, witty, constantly finding new hobbi... View more

Hi all, I’m a 20 year old girl who’s had a history of depression and at one point , hospitalised for anorexia nervous but fully recovered and thrived afterwards , I’ve always somewhat been over stimulated mentally, witty, constantly finding new hobbies and having new ideas overwhelm me, But about 12 months ago, I went out in town, I took an unknown drug ( told it was ecstacy) my friend took the same one and was totally fine , I myself was fine on the night , until I woke up in the morning and as the weeks went by I started losing my inner monologue , sense of time, feeling extremely uncomfortable around people I know and wa shaving major breakdowns at random times during the day, I’m not the same person I was 12 months ago, I feel as if I have NO inner monologue ( I could stare at a wall for 5 hours and have no coherent idea or thought ) and i have no emotional connection to what little I have to say, towards anyone or anything , I’m seriously stuck on how to explain this as it feels way too complex or foreign to anyone , I feel like I’m faking everything but at the same time , don’t even know who I am anymore , whatever happened seriously shook me up and It’s effecting my personal , and social life dramatically , no anti depressant works as it makes the brain fog 10x worse along with the lack of emotion/thinking , any help would be so , so appreciated ! Thankyou

atw503 Growing up in poverty
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am an American (living with Australian partner) who grew up in poverty. There were times in my childhood and young adulthood where I was denied food, education, heating in the winter, and healthcare when desperately ill, injured, or mentally... View more

Hello, I am an American (living with Australian partner) who grew up in poverty. There were times in my childhood and young adulthood where I was denied food, education, heating in the winter, and healthcare when desperately ill, injured, or mentally ill. This is the norm in America unfortunately. I feel out of place in Australia. I feel panicky about money. I rarely feel secure, and it's always temporary. I'm constantly meeting people that take their affordable college education, inherited home, Medicare, and safety nets for granted. It messes with my head and leaves me feeling isolated. On top of this I am homesick but also petrified at the thought of returning to miserable wages ($7.25 an hour), no healthcare, unaffordable college. I currently live in one of the wealthiest places in Australia (unintentionally-place my partner could find work). My anxiety and depression has increased. We worked our butts off this year to build savings but I feel like I have a form of PTSD. I'm always scared, obsessed, and anxious about money. I've seen doctors and a psychologist and I feel they don't understand where I'm coming from. You can tell people something, but if they can't imagine having to live it, they're not going to get it. Has anyone else who grew up in poverty or scarcity found it difficult to relate to other people? Or isolating?