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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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MimzeeMc Self Help And Therapy
  • replies: 1

I am diagnosed with having Complex PTSD. I went through dissociation and psychosis as young as 6 yrs of age, possibly younger. My story is a long one so I won't go into details. However, if you find therapy alone unhelpful, then you could try a combi... View more

I am diagnosed with having Complex PTSD. I went through dissociation and psychosis as young as 6 yrs of age, possibly younger. My story is a long one so I won't go into details. However, if you find therapy alone unhelpful, then you could try a combination of self help and therapy. For me, the problem with therapy is that it is never as available as those who are suffering, truly need. I get parts of my memories and emotions associated with it, brought to the front of my mind. But at the end of the therapy session, there is no method to put those memories to the back until the next appointment. I go home full of questions and old aches. Therapy alone for me is the equivalent to putting a bandaid on a school sore. The infection is covered, risk of spreading is contained. BUT, underneath, it is still infected and is still sore. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; if your reading and writing skills are okay, then I suggest asking your therapist about this type of therapy. It gets you to focus on how to manage your mental health. To put things into a view that you can accept and live with. As a victim of long term abuse and almost 40, I will say this. My memories have never faded. They are permanently etched into my brain. Because I couldn't forget, I accept my memories and turn them into lessons that taught me something vital. Because I still can't dull the pain, I try to use my experiences to be there for others who aren't coping and so, I turn my pain into strength. Because innocence stolen cannot ever be given back, I stopped trying to get back what I had stolen from inside me. I use what happened to me to try and be more wise and aware and to prevent others from being hurt too. Rather than, hopelessness, defeat and suicide, I choose to be a protector of innocence. CBT alongside a therapist can do wonders I believe. I think of it as retraining my brain. I am very honest in my answers because I am talking to myself rather than a psyche. I have no reason to lie to myself. What has happened has happened and cannot be undone. I don't like wasting my energy and time on questions that can't be answered and problems that can't be fixed. I prefer to concentrate on what can be answered and what can be fixed. And talking about and bouncing ideas for, self help with a professional helps me keep things safe and in perspective. If you are like me, then you are at risk of being overly resolute. Refusing to change your thoughts or beliefs. Talking prevents this dogmatism.

Asg Any forgotten Australians
  • replies: 10

Hi all I'm Alex and new , I have been dealing with seeking justice for long periods of incarceration and mistreatment as a child and it has sent my anxiety and social phobia into overdrive just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and how you... View more

Hi all I'm Alex and new , I have been dealing with seeking justice for long periods of incarceration and mistreatment as a child and it has sent my anxiety and social phobia into overdrive just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and how you coped .

rose49 C-ptsd and too much
  • replies: 1

I have long since known I have C-PTSD but I just lost my reason to live. The only thing that got me through every dark time. I'm half way through a course that might have rescued her from where I left her. But, now I feel like I'm losing it on a whol... View more

I have long since known I have C-PTSD but I just lost my reason to live. The only thing that got me through every dark time. I'm half way through a course that might have rescued her from where I left her. But, now I feel like I'm losing it on a whole new level. I get anxiety attacks all the time especially with the people I live with and especially with people. I get these fits of screaming and hitting anything I can to make it stop. My head constantly hurts now. I can't do anything that would remind me that I'm living, it's too much. My flash backs are so much worse now I end up in a fetal position harming myself, so it will stop. I don't know what's happening to me.

Givemebackmysoul Past experiences haunting my relationships
  • replies: 2

Hi, I would love some advice as I feel as though my friends are sick of my mood swings and don’t understand what I am trying to say. I promise this isn’t just me ranting about my non-existent love life. A guy I like recently added me on fb and starte... View more

Hi, I would love some advice as I feel as though my friends are sick of my mood swings and don’t understand what I am trying to say. I promise this isn’t just me ranting about my non-existent love life. A guy I like recently added me on fb and started messaging. From the times that I have met him in person I’ve been incredibly drawn to him and he seems like such a kind guy, but, I started to freak out. Getting messages from him was amplifying my anxiety, I was getting chest tightness, nausea and losing my appetite, going nights without meals because I couldn’t stomach it, but I still wanted to talk to him. I ended up asking him what his intentions were and said I wasn’t ready for a relationship as I currently have just started seeking a psych for previous sexual assault and have had bad experiences with obsessive men (I did not disclose these details to him, rather that I had been just having bad anxiety due to previous experiences and that wanted to clear the air so this wouldn’t blow up in my face again) and I thought he would be understanding. Instead he left my messages on read and removed me as a friend on fb because I had essentially ‘rejected him’. I received a message from him today saying that I was ‘too rough’ and he didn’t want to be the ‘cause of anxiety or drama’. This really hurt because I was hoping to talk things through with him, that he would be understanding. I didn’t want to stop speaking to him I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page about not being interested in relationships. He is a health professional (this is how we first met) so I thought he would be more empathetic? It’s made me feel so shitty about myself. I’m embarrassed and I feel so low, not to mention my anxiety is still how it was when I was talking to him. I dont know what I’d do if I see him at work and I just feel so crushed and worthless. None of my friends understand because I ‘barely’ knew him but I think what has me upset most is that this will always happen. The reason I am so weary is because I boy in high school I said I just wanted to be friends with ended up threatening to kill himself “because of me” and blamed me for wanting to die. I didn’t want to lead this guy into thinking I like him (which I do) but turn around as I got to know him and realise I don’t, and then have him follow the same pattern. I dont know if posting in this forum is even the right place to post this but I didn’t know what else to do. Please let me know what you think

Ebsmeads How to get over the guilt
  • replies: 1

3 years on from when i was strong enough to leave a 10 year 3 children DV relationship. He went to prison for 3 pitiful months only to receive a 21 month suspense sentence all thanks to the reference letter from his new gf. 6 months later he broke th... View more

3 years on from when i was strong enough to leave a 10 year 3 children DV relationship. He went to prison for 3 pitiful months only to receive a 21 month suspense sentence all thanks to the reference letter from his new gf. 6 months later he broke that bond by horrendously attacking his gf and her elderly father. 2 years on and it's crunch time. I was asked to stand up in court. Here's the issue 2 years he did have any contact with our children then the phone call with him telling me what he did again...cautiously I kept communication open and established a small connection (no child contact) I'm an enabler. I thought he had changed not completely but was conscious of his actions. 6 months later I reestablished his relationship with his children (even though the kids didn't agree) all because I didn't want the repercussions years down the track from teenage kids resenting me for keeping their father away. Things went ok but each drop off was he'll kids screaming etc. 12 months in and everything changed I noticed he wasn't handling the kids when he had them then my worst nightmare he physically touched my 10 yr old son. I was so angry and cut all ties until he sorted the court case. Turns out the prosecutor is chasing jail time. I want him to be punished and to stop him from hurting others but I'm scared of the reorecutions if he is not incarcerated. But above all I feel guilty even though I think he is dangerous and I can't get over it and I don't understand why. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Phoenix33 Complex PTSD and future employment
  • replies: 4

Hi lovely people, i hope you are all doing ok-ish or the best as you can in your own pace ***Bit long post, sorry in advanced. For past nearly 4 years i am working on myself. Lots of thinking and planning involved. Moments when you are weak and you n... View more

Hi lovely people, i hope you are all doing ok-ish or the best as you can in your own pace ***Bit long post, sorry in advanced. For past nearly 4 years i am working on myself. Lots of thinking and planning involved. Moments when you are weak and you need to be strong for your childrens needs too, are the wake up calls to reality and finding that they still need you. Building up myself from scratch, learning about myself, becoming my own best friend. That self strategies helped me to put myself on path of full time bachelor of fine arts degree studies in one of prestigious art schools/university's in Australia nationwide. I am not working, but for past two years i am casually applying for the jobs. I say casually as I do have days when I cannot deal with people more then 8 hours and not every day, I need my quite time too. I usually work on my art projects or just watching tv to "reset". I know this might be long intro, please forgive me. I recently applied for the job - bus driver, and I've passed 4 rounds of selection so far, very exciting ☺. But...there's always that "but"....what worries me is MEDICAL assessment. Only and only in regards when it comes to - should l or should i not tell that i have PTSD! I am not using any sort of medical treatment for it, I am not smoker, nor alchohol consumer, ever, never illegal. I have 3 autoimmune diseases caused by PTSD and compund trauma, but im not having any treatments, cause - whats the point of being on pain killers if i have life term condition. I don't want to end up addicted to it at any stage. So my question would be : AM I OBLIGATED BY THE LAW TO INFORM WHOM EVER MIGHT CONCERN ABOUT MY CONDITION? I know that i put my heart into this job role, but again im person with rational thinking and id never put my life nor other people life's under any risks what so ever. I am working on getting my life back on a track, thats all. Thank you in advance

BOC64 Frustration with the lack of ability with some therapists
  • replies: 9

Hi Is anyone else feel frustration with the lack of ability with some therapists? Apart from going on a buy and try mission to find one or have your GP recommend one how do you find that "one"?

Hi Is anyone else feel frustration with the lack of ability with some therapists? Apart from going on a buy and try mission to find one or have your GP recommend one how do you find that "one"?

tpman Having trouble finding help
  • replies: 2

Hi. I feel I might be suffering from some trauma as I can relate very much to the symptoms. I’m not sure where to get help. I’ve done CBT and mindfulness and whilst it helped for anxiety and depression some what it does not help for my current state.... View more

Hi. I feel I might be suffering from some trauma as I can relate very much to the symptoms. I’m not sure where to get help. I’ve done CBT and mindfulness and whilst it helped for anxiety and depression some what it does not help for my current state. i also have been diagnosed with sever melancholic treatment resistant depression with panic anxiety and agitation. i am stable now thanks to medication but still feel I’m suffering from some trauma. i feel very detached, and have trouble sleeping . I’m very jumpy and on edge and have a profound sense of hopelessness. The trauma I think stems from a severe breakdown I had 3 years ago whilst coming off medication. My world crumbled it was awful. Words cannot describe the distress I encountered. This subsequently developed into panic attacks and the depression I mentioned above. Hospitalisations, including being sectioned once. i don’t feel any therapy will work as I’ve done so much of it in the past and have just lost faith in it. but I want to get better. Is there some kind of trauma focused therapy that people here have had and felt that it helped ? thank u for reading

Prometheus I feel like the person from sixth sense
  • replies: 2

I just need to get this off my chest sometimes I see his dead eyes I know their flashbacks but there so real it's like I can describe every detail i don't mind flashbacks of the abuse which is sad to say but what my uncle would do that voice he had i... View more

I just need to get this off my chest sometimes I see his dead eyes I know their flashbacks but there so real it's like I can describe every detail i don't mind flashbacks of the abuse which is sad to say but what my uncle would do that voice he had it still wakes me i am talking with a trauma counselor so I guess your probably thinking why do I need to talk about this you probably think I'm doing it for attention But I just feel alone and more alone with my therapist and the only thing keeping me company is my trauma this continuous line of images haunting me I guess there's trauma then trauma from having trauma how do I stop it how do I tell myself that it's over I'm living two lives one in the past one present how do I tell my 7 year old me that it wasn't my fault If you have read this far thank you I know these questions are hard to answer but you just reading this makes me feel free

Star2019 Terrified and feeling very alone, isolated
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm an expat living with my best friend. Things have become sour between us for many reasons. My reasons are he suffocates me, never respects when I say no, doesn't listen or respect my 'why's, he isolates me and when I try to say this is why I n... View more

Hi, I'm an expat living with my best friend. Things have become sour between us for many reasons. My reasons are he suffocates me, never respects when I say no, doesn't listen or respect my 'why's, he isolates me and when I try to say this is why I need space, to breathe, he becomes unhinged. Each day is drama at some point with him even though we go places, spend 18 hours a day (I can't be alone from him cus I'm his guest and we live rural so, I'm stuck!), We do everything together and yet he still needs a daily dose of drama. I have my 1 year old with me, too. I came to this country to heal from my traumas left in another country, he offered to support us. Well, to deflect the issues I have with him and my sadness that's getting heavy from his weight on me, he began to complain about me, then yell at me. This has become 'often' and I usually walk away and take my baby into our room. This time, after saying I can't live with this anymore, I'll buy my ticket out of here then, he said Go. Not just that, he said pack your bags and now and go. I said I have nowhere to go. He became a monster. Raging for me to go, now, anywhere, into the rural Forrest with my baby for all he cared. Then, he called his sister saying I'm irrational and he wants me to stay. Shes gets on the phone, hears what I have to say then I hand phone back to him. Next I know, they are BOTH telling me to pack and go NOW. She then told me she didn't believe her brother was abusing me, get out now, then each texted me to go, I am not welcome. They each k ow I am a domestic violence survivor, I was tortured in USA until I escaped, lived homeless for a year, I fought hard to prosecute me now ex. These 2 people who I trusted have retraumatized me now!!! I called shelters and eventually my friend said to stay but now I'm so depressed and shock ip from that, indnt even want to come out my room cus when I do, I can't smile. Or we argue because I said him and his sister abused a very fragile person who I thought they loved us....who throws a best friend with baby out into the unknown?! No car, nothing.......and they each claim they never wanted us to go. Icing on cake, insane!! I got texts, I know what was said. Each refuse to apologise. I smile for my baby and play with her, but he's shown her now what disfuction and depression is. What mummy looks like when she's being yelled at......and I stand up for myself but I'm terrified in this country, alone, now.