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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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wakewoke How can you get out of a Domestic abuse situation?
  • replies: 12

Hello, Im new to to this forum and I wish to ask for advice. Im 21 year old male who still lives with his parents due to mental issues, but I hate it here now, my parents insult me, we get into fights everyday over my issues, I act like a jerk and sa... View more

Hello, Im new to to this forum and I wish to ask for advice. Im 21 year old male who still lives with his parents due to mental issues, but I hate it here now, my parents insult me, we get into fights everyday over my issues, I act like a jerk and say terrible things, they do as well. But how do I get out? i dont have a car, i have a few grand from a pension but i want to to do things with my life and rent is expensive and i have no life skills and ive never had a job and i dont know what to do.

Hope3110 Losing faith and hope in the world
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I am really struggling at the moment. It almost feels like I’m drowning. The last 3 months have been horrendous for me. (I’ve had a horrendous life thus far, with psychical abuse, sexual abuse, trauma) but recently I feel like it’s the wors... View more

Hi there, I am really struggling at the moment. It almost feels like I’m drowning. The last 3 months have been horrendous for me. (I’ve had a horrendous life thus far, with psychical abuse, sexual abuse, trauma) but recently I feel like it’s the worst it’s ever been. My mum got diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I am a carer for her. Then my Aunty committed suicide a few days after her diagnosis. Then recently my grandfather passed away and he used to abuse me, and I had to plan his funeral and it got on top of me. Then recently I found out my brother has relapsed and had ice induced psychosis episode. I am finding it tough with everything going on every day. I find it hard with my partner because he’s got so much going on in his own life. I feel really lonely and struggling. I feel like I can’t catch a break. I work part time as a manager but I am struggling with that, as my boss is always fighting with head office, and vice versa. I just feel like I try to get it through it all but it just gets harder. I see a psychologist and my GP regularly and take medication for my anxiety. But it’s just something happens everyday and I feel like I’m drowning. And then this last week I’ve drank quite a bit and made myself sick. Just trying to escape. I can’t meditate as my mind wanders off. I just want a normal life. I want my mum to be around for my 30th, I want her to be around for all the big life events. They gave her 12-15 months and that was 3 months ago. But she’s not responding to treatment either and the tumour has grown. I had to plan her wedding to my step father and that was yesterday and it’s just sooooo much I’ve had to do. And I just think what can I do to get through all of this. In a safe way. Where I’m not burnt out and not exhausted and angry and hurt. Sorry this is probably just a huge rant. I don’t even know what I’m asking for.

MilliHub Struggling
  • replies: 1

Hi I am 24 and 10 years ago I was groomed and sexually abused by a student teacher at my school for almost 2 years. Afterwards I was raped by a boy from my college who was supposed to be my friend. I never told anyone until a few months ago when out ... View more

Hi I am 24 and 10 years ago I was groomed and sexually abused by a student teacher at my school for almost 2 years. Afterwards I was raped by a boy from my college who was supposed to be my friend. I never told anyone until a few months ago when out of the blue I was triggered. I've been struggling with feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, grief and heartache ever since. I don't enjoy the things that I used to enjoy and I've lost touch with friends and family members. It hurts to say, but I feel jealous of them because of the success and vitality that they seem to have, which I've never been able to create for myself. As much as I've tried to lead a full life, over the last 10 years I've gone through patterns, usually in winter, of falling into depressions where I've been unable to look after myself, maintain jobs, friendships and housing. But every time I've fallen I've always picked myself up. However this time things feel very different. I'm seeing a psychologist who is helping me learn emotional intelligence so that I can control my anxiety. I'm also trying to look after my diet and I'm trying to get exercise, vitamin d and 7=8 hours of sleep everyday. But, despite everything, I still feel like I'm alone and I don't know how to live my life. I want to know how others have coped in similar situations? Could you share advice or wisdom for me?

amber23 Childhood Trauma
  • replies: 5

My dad was abusive to both my mum and stepmum. I have witnessed many fights that he started with them. It was very traumatic for me and I only got diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the beginning of this year. Is anyone in the same situation as... View more

My dad was abusive to both my mum and stepmum. I have witnessed many fights that he started with them. It was very traumatic for me and I only got diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the beginning of this year. Is anyone in the same situation as me?

GooGooDolls Are there any Glass Children from the 70's reading?
  • replies: 6

Hi All A glass child is a sibling of a child with special needs. In the 70's resources were few and siblings in these type of high strung stressed families were largely overlooked. Its not that we weren't loved its that we were never seen... looked t... View more

Hi All A glass child is a sibling of a child with special needs. In the 70's resources were few and siblings in these type of high strung stressed families were largely overlooked. Its not that we weren't loved its that we were never seen... looked through like we were glass. I always have referred to myself as an invisible child. Its a very unusal type of trauma, as its so left field. I was wondering if there was anyone online that has experienced such a childhood and due to it has developed mental health issues. Hope to hear from someone

Ely_ Stopping flashbacks and thoughts after counselling
  • replies: 3

Hi I've recently started trauma counselling for past abuse. I felt I had no choice but to seek help from someone specialised in this, as when I broached it with my regular pyschologist I felt judged. I've posted in the psychologists and therapists et... View more

Hi I've recently started trauma counselling for past abuse. I felt I had no choice but to seek help from someone specialised in this, as when I broached it with my regular pyschologist I felt judged. I've posted in the psychologists and therapists etc forum separately on the issue of my psychologist. Anyway, last week's session was really challenging. We did some grounding. I left. I felt ok. Two days later I had to confront my psychologist, then that night I got a concussion and ended up in hospital overnight. The day I got out of hospital I had a really bad trigger on the way home and ever since, I am stuck in this loop of shame, self-hate, depression, so anxious and just all flashbacks and so many emotions. Yesterday I sought help from my GP who sent me to mental health to talk to them. They were a waste of time. By the time I got there I had to wait in ED coz the acute team was gone. Which made my anxiety so much worse. And now today I have to deal with the ever critical MIL who has nfi what mental health even is. I just get so angry and I hurt... I just want to stop thinking and feeling. Thanks for letting me get it out.

Guest5643 Guilt about owning a dog
  • replies: 13

I know millions of people live alone and has a dog but does anyone else constantly feel guilty for having a dog that constantly witnesses your anxiety depression ect? knowing it takes a mental toll on them Cheers lynne

I know millions of people live alone and has a dog but does anyone else constantly feel guilty for having a dog that constantly witnesses your anxiety depression ect? knowing it takes a mental toll on them Cheers lynne

KJJ Do I have BPD (Trigger warning - references to self harm, abuse)
  • replies: 18

I was wondering if I have BPD. I have been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 20 when bulimia, depression, and anxiety became severe. I have a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety disorder. I’ve never told anyone including my doctor how ... View more

I was wondering if I have BPD. I have been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 20 when bulimia, depression, and anxiety became severe. I have a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety disorder. I’ve never told anyone including my doctor how I really feel inside as I feel ashamed there is something wrong with me and I don’t feel I can trust enough to tell anyone. I keep my feelings hidden from those closest to me as I am confused by them and unsure if they are valid. My mother had me when she was very young and was quite unstable with substance abuse and volatile moods for as long as I can remember. I was alienated from my father when I was about a year old until later in life. Among other traumatic experiences when I was 12 my mother's boyfriend at the time was volatile and did drugs and also sexually abused me. I told my mum but he lied and said I was mistaken and she believed him. When they split he broke into our house and terrorised us one night. Within the year or less after this I remember I started bedwetting and hurting myself. I remember being so angry or upset and hurting myself was the only thing that calmed me down. This reduced after time but as I got older I started binge drinking and having problems with anxiety, depression, and bulimia. At that time in my head whenever I did something that I was ashamed of or binge ate would repeat “I hate myself, I want to die”. With time, CBT, and medication I have stabilised, and rarely drink or have problems with eating but still have occasional relapses of depression and anxiety. I often feel lonely and empty. I also feel numb a lot of the time but other times I also feel emotions are overwhelming, especially anger. One thing that confuses me is when my husband goes to work I feel so angry at him, I feel he doesn’t care about me and that I can’t trust him (I don’t tell him this) but when I am with him I wonder why I felt that way and feel guilty and confused for being so angry. My doctor hasn't mentioned BPD. I am distancing from my mother under the advice of my doctor, due to enmeshment and emotional abuse. I feel similarly with my mother - at times rage and resentment towards her and then guilt and confusion at my feelings. With other relationships such as my father if I feel I am getting too involved or close I get scared and untrusting and worry that they will hurt me and then I push away. I guess I am trying to make sense of the way I feel and see if I can deal with it. Thank you.

Leleina Complicated past issues
  • replies: 2

Hi I think I have a complicated past. I'd like to think I have since moved forwards. Married w 3young children. However, I do poorly on my own and my anxieties, insecurities and feelings of abandonment play up. I sought help before and was diagnosed ... View more

Hi I think I have a complicated past. I'd like to think I have since moved forwards. Married w 3young children. However, I do poorly on my own and my anxieties, insecurities and feelings of abandonment play up. I sought help before and was diagnosed with dysthymia. Was on medication for awhile then stopped. I have been to counselling before too. I thought to share my story because I don't really talk about the past anymore. Why should I? But generally because I am stay home mum recently out of job, I find I disconnect easily, slip too easily into routine, prioritise everyone else's needs before mine and I think it is the disconnection and low feeling that now makes me see... since the death of my mil, that maybe I'm not quite ok. So apparently I was given to my grandmother to look after the first 9m of my life. Now with kids, I cant imagine doing that to my children after what we now know of baby/mum attachment, skin to skin etc. Then as a child, my dad molested me and tried to rape me and warned me to keep quiet. Eventually I told my mum after so much fear. It was the telling that made him remorseful. My mum sort of blamed me, she didnt at first believe me. I was sent away to study overseas as a result. My dad considerd hus vasectomy as 'punishment'. Police never contacted. Mum warned me to brush it under the carpet no one needs to know because my dad had changed and wont do it again. This is all pretty dysfunctional in my view. I have a series of poor dependent relationships before I met my husband. I smoked, hung out with poor company, I cheated on my exes. Then I met my husband, I gave up smoking and now have kids, walking the straight and narrow so to speak. I do yearn for my carefree days and feel tired and tied down most of the time. Now my parents are supportive of me, mostly my dad, he helped me last couple of weeks but mum and I don't have a good relationship still. Mum just finished chemo for lymphoma and my mil recently died a sudden death. I have fallen into an anxious cycle and got back on here... and I just want to let things out. My husband returns tomorrow and we still need to process grief. Thanks for reading Leleina

Shakes89 Pandora's Box
  • replies: 2

Hi.... I have never done this before, not sure how it works or even if it will help. I am in the middle of pretty full on exposure for C-PTSD, it has not been fun at all, as was expected. My wife is trying so hard to keep me grounded and to understan... View more

Hi.... I have never done this before, not sure how it works or even if it will help. I am in the middle of pretty full on exposure for C-PTSD, it has not been fun at all, as was expected. My wife is trying so hard to keep me grounded and to understand and help as much as she can, I broke down and admitted to her I was sexually abused for about a 13 month period when I was 12-13 years of age and have not been able to close that box since, it has completely consumed me, our son had an incident when he was a couple of years old and I thought I was going to lose him, from that day I have not been the same. I started having nightmares, became easily angry, my therapist has said that this incident was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. Once I thought I had lost my son everything from when I was a child came back, not even when I close my eyes, when they are open, awake, asleep, whilst at work, at home, driving....at all times. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD as multiple events led to where I am now. I am not sure how I am going to see out the week at my work, I don't want to leave the house/ bed...ever. Thankfully our son pulls me out of that and gets me up and about, Being Male I have always been ashamed of what had happened and have tried very hard for it not to affect me 15-16 years on. I cant seem too, I'm not sure where to go for help.... Anyway...if you made it this far, thank you for reading.

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