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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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tpman Having trouble finding help
  • replies: 2

Hi. I feel I might be suffering from some trauma as I can relate very much to the symptoms. I’m not sure where to get help. I’ve done CBT and mindfulness and whilst it helped for anxiety and depression some what it does not help for my current state.... View more

Hi. I feel I might be suffering from some trauma as I can relate very much to the symptoms. I’m not sure where to get help. I’ve done CBT and mindfulness and whilst it helped for anxiety and depression some what it does not help for my current state. i also have been diagnosed with sever melancholic treatment resistant depression with panic anxiety and agitation. i am stable now thanks to medication but still feel I’m suffering from some trauma. i feel very detached, and have trouble sleeping . I’m very jumpy and on edge and have a profound sense of hopelessness. The trauma I think stems from a severe breakdown I had 3 years ago whilst coming off medication. My world crumbled it was awful. Words cannot describe the distress I encountered. This subsequently developed into panic attacks and the depression I mentioned above. Hospitalisations, including being sectioned once. i don’t feel any therapy will work as I’ve done so much of it in the past and have just lost faith in it. but I want to get better. Is there some kind of trauma focused therapy that people here have had and felt that it helped ? thank u for reading

Prometheus I feel like the person from sixth sense
  • replies: 2

I just need to get this off my chest sometimes I see his dead eyes I know their flashbacks but there so real it's like I can describe every detail i don't mind flashbacks of the abuse which is sad to say but what my uncle would do that voice he had i... View more

I just need to get this off my chest sometimes I see his dead eyes I know their flashbacks but there so real it's like I can describe every detail i don't mind flashbacks of the abuse which is sad to say but what my uncle would do that voice he had it still wakes me i am talking with a trauma counselor so I guess your probably thinking why do I need to talk about this you probably think I'm doing it for attention But I just feel alone and more alone with my therapist and the only thing keeping me company is my trauma this continuous line of images haunting me I guess there's trauma then trauma from having trauma how do I stop it how do I tell myself that it's over I'm living two lives one in the past one present how do I tell my 7 year old me that it wasn't my fault If you have read this far thank you I know these questions are hard to answer but you just reading this makes me feel free

Star2019 Terrified and feeling very alone, isolated
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm an expat living with my best friend. Things have become sour between us for many reasons. My reasons are he suffocates me, never respects when I say no, doesn't listen or respect my 'why's, he isolates me and when I try to say this is why I n... View more

Hi, I'm an expat living with my best friend. Things have become sour between us for many reasons. My reasons are he suffocates me, never respects when I say no, doesn't listen or respect my 'why's, he isolates me and when I try to say this is why I need space, to breathe, he becomes unhinged. Each day is drama at some point with him even though we go places, spend 18 hours a day (I can't be alone from him cus I'm his guest and we live rural so, I'm stuck!), We do everything together and yet he still needs a daily dose of drama. I have my 1 year old with me, too. I came to this country to heal from my traumas left in another country, he offered to support us. Well, to deflect the issues I have with him and my sadness that's getting heavy from his weight on me, he began to complain about me, then yell at me. This has become 'often' and I usually walk away and take my baby into our room. This time, after saying I can't live with this anymore, I'll buy my ticket out of here then, he said Go. Not just that, he said pack your bags and now and go. I said I have nowhere to go. He became a monster. Raging for me to go, now, anywhere, into the rural Forrest with my baby for all he cared. Then, he called his sister saying I'm irrational and he wants me to stay. Shes gets on the phone, hears what I have to say then I hand phone back to him. Next I know, they are BOTH telling me to pack and go NOW. She then told me she didn't believe her brother was abusing me, get out now, then each texted me to go, I am not welcome. They each k ow I am a domestic violence survivor, I was tortured in USA until I escaped, lived homeless for a year, I fought hard to prosecute me now ex. These 2 people who I trusted have retraumatized me now!!! I called shelters and eventually my friend said to stay but now I'm so depressed and shock ip from that, indnt even want to come out my room cus when I do, I can't smile. Or we argue because I said him and his sister abused a very fragile person who I thought they loved us....who throws a best friend with baby out into the unknown?! No car, nothing.......and they each claim they never wanted us to go. Icing on cake, insane!! I got texts, I know what was said. Each refuse to apologise. I smile for my baby and play with her, but he's shown her now what disfuction and depression is. What mummy looks like when she's being yelled at......and I stand up for myself but I'm terrified in this country, alone, now.

Susie PTSD and Trauma - Question
  • replies: 1

Hello, Is it true that if a person has suffered loss like the death of my daughter to still birth at 8 months old inside my tummy, two years later my husband to another woman and the loss of all familiar connections due to this that this trauma can d... View more

Hello, Is it true that if a person has suffered loss like the death of my daughter to still birth at 8 months old inside my tummy, two years later my husband to another woman and the loss of all familiar connections due to this that this trauma can develop into a high sensitivity to loss of any kind and to people in general? I have sought many sources to find out just what is going on with me from all of this. The past feels like it is constantly replaying the feeling and the scenes and I sit here in my lounge room wishing I could know how to being comfortable and secure in my own company and in the company of others. I so fear losing those I feel connected with, that I tend to not form any deep connections with people. And those that do develop into connections with I fear that I will attach myself to them. I feel like I am in this conundrum most of the time.

Wraith Continuing saga
  • replies: 46

Its been a while since I last posted I thought I was over it but no the anger resentment , frustration ,self loathing ,are all still there just under the surface. Yesterday I had to attend a view, organised by my legal team ,attended by a lawyer repr... View more

Its been a while since I last posted I thought I was over it but no the anger resentment , frustration ,self loathing ,are all still there just under the surface. Yesterday I had to attend a view, organised by my legal team ,attended by a lawyer representing the other side ,and the company and their item that contributed to my injury. This goes back nearly six years ,and we get there and the item for view isnt close to what contributed to my injury, I walked towards it and wanted to smash it apart ,my lawyer told me 4 times not to do what I did ,my wife got in my face and told me I was stupid ,the smug representative and site manager smirked and smiled ,all the way home I copped an earfull ,and it just got worse at home. I have never wanted to hit someone more ,my angers out of control ,I get told there wont be a judgement till March or April next year. Since 2015 I havent had an income and have to live of my wifes wage ,before that I was getting the 75% of my pre injury wage ,after 130 weeks nothing from workcover , the only reason I am still here is because I would miss my wife and kids , it has got to the stage where I wonder if its worth it. My wife says I always show people a happy face and only she gets to see the real me. And then last night she said she thought we should seperate. Great. Another nail to add to my coffin, I really want to stay around and screw the 2 insurance companies but I dont know if I want to face it. Next week my Daughters getting engaged, the Monday after I go under the knife for my 19th surgery, 2 Drs have recently suggested an amputation . I have no money to give for the engagement, I'm scared about the upcoming surgery , and my good friend PAIN is still with me constantly. I really feel like I am self destructing, when I see something I want to step in ,not caring about myself. Sleep is not happening I lie in bed and feel the weight on my chest restricting breathing , sitting here ,typing this ,doesnt help either, like it used to .I have to go to centrelink and see if my disability pension has been approved ,bet it hasnt, and that just adds to my depression. Isnt life wonderfull for those with a problem in their lives people dont care they look at you and nod but really think your milking it I even blew up at a little old guy who was pulling out of a disabled parking spot because he didnt have a label he pulled 1 out of the door pocket ,bet it wasnt his, I am just angry at everything and everyone.

Scooba Ptsd and being in a relationship
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone this is my first post but after desperately searching for some information about how my ptsd impacts my relationship i thought id reach out here to people that have ptsd and are in a relationsip. Im very aware that i struggle with feeling... View more

Hi everyone this is my first post but after desperately searching for some information about how my ptsd impacts my relationship i thought id reach out here to people that have ptsd and are in a relationsip. Im very aware that i struggle with feeling... Does it make sense to anyone else that has ptsd that you know you love someone (know in your head) but dont feel anything? I battle within myself constantly questioning myself...asking can it be love if i dont feel anything? Can i shut off and feel nothing and be in love with him? How do i know if im in love or not? obviously i dont feel i could talk to him about this when i dont understand it myself..plus how can i talk to him say these things without completely hurting him... I didnt have ptsd until age 25 so my relationship pre ptsd was NOTHING like the one i have now with ptsd...i dont understand my feelings or emotions and how i meant to know if im in love with him...we have been together 2 years so its not a new relationship. I would really value anyones help who can relate or has some knowledge of where i am coming from and how to accept or understand this and know if its love or not:/

annawave Struggling with stalker ex-boyfriend
  • replies: 3

Hi all. First time poster so I'm a bit nervous.. Last year I've had to deal with my ex-boyfriend stalking me and not leaving me alone after we had broken up. Long story short he had messaged me non-stop, trespassed into my house late at night to knoc... View more

Hi all. First time poster so I'm a bit nervous.. Last year I've had to deal with my ex-boyfriend stalking me and not leaving me alone after we had broken up. Long story short he had messaged me non-stop, trespassed into my house late at night to knock on my window and have visited me at work a few times up until I was fearing for my safety. I finally managed to get in contact with the authorities and have managed to get a personal safety intervention order in November. For the most part it felt very surreal at the time and I didn't think that I could fully embrace what was happening. I keep thinking that he could just show up at my house any time of the night. I couldn't sleep at the thought that he would knock on my window again at 3am in the morning. This would go on for many nights throughout the week. Because I still live with my parents it was hard to tell them that I think I needed to see someone about what was happening to me as they don't really believe in counselling. Up until now I feel like I've been repressing all these thoughts and feelings that now I feel like it's all slowly catching up to me. I feel even more constantly paranoid before going to bed and now I think it has gotten worse to the point where I can't sleep with the lights off. I've spoken to my friends about what has happened but I feel like now that some time has passed everyone else has moved on from what has happened but I'm still stuck. During the day I feel like it isn't as bad but once I'm in bed at night is when I feel the worst. Sometimes the smallest sounds or breeze of wind from outside would keep me up in thinking that what if it's him hanging around my backyard.. I feel embarrassed that if I go see my GP it feels like I've left it too late. I've had to take time off uni and I'm just really struggling since I've never had to seek out help before and it's all so new and daunting I wouldn't even know what to say. Thank you so much for taking even a bit of your time to read my post.

AdriftAnnie Psychologist told me being a victim of DV was my fault
  • replies: 9

Hi, I’ve just left my first session with a new psychologist and i’m feeling so upset by what he said that I needed to post. After detailing my relationship history with my husband which has been marred by over a decade of verbal, psychological and mo... View more

Hi, I’ve just left my first session with a new psychologist and i’m feeling so upset by what he said that I needed to post. After detailing my relationship history with my husband which has been marred by over a decade of verbal, psychological and more recently physical and sexual abuse, I was told that if I don’t leave after he has shown me his true colours then I am just as responsible for the violence that may be inflicted on me. He also told me that the problem was our “dynamic” was wrong and that if my husband was with someone else then he probably wouldn’t be violent. i’m absolutely flabbergasted that a mental health professional would have these opinions. They seem so outdated and dangerous to me. I didn’t speak up at the time as it took a while for what he said to sink in. Now i’m back to blaming myself for what has happened to me. Am I being overly sensitive or was he wrong to say those things?

Thekracken Realising I have PTSD
  • replies: 3

Hi I’m new here and I’ve just today realised I have PTSD (self diagnosed) Background: my parents divorced when I was I think 7 and it was a really messy divorce that multiple times needed to be worked out through court. I was also molested by a famil... View more

Hi I’m new here and I’ve just today realised I have PTSD (self diagnosed) Background: my parents divorced when I was I think 7 and it was a really messy divorce that multiple times needed to be worked out through court. I was also molested by a family member around the same time. (I’m now 18) For as long as I can remember I’ve had anxiety, it started off with me just being very shy then it developed further. I only realised a couple of years ago that it was just more then me being shy. It was only last year when I realised I also probably have depression, I can’t really remember how it started it just kind of did. I do remember feeling really unhappy for a long time though. I have figured for a while that my anxiety and depression had stemmed from my traumatic childhood but I had never thought of putting a label on it until now. I never used to consider that I had PTSD because I never thought that what I had been through would be considered traumatic, even though I have always felt traumatised by what had happened. I’m considering seeking help from a doctor but even thinking about it makes me anxious, I do need help though. I’m not really sure why I decided to write and post this, I guess I just wanted some form of support. Thanks for reading!

BOC64 Feeling as though I am falling
  • replies: 2

Hi I am a sufferer of PTSD, depression etc. with most of the typical issues from childhood abuse and seeing my mother abused by my father. I have on quite a few occasions woken in fright from feeling like I am falling from a great height. I avoid exp... View more

Hi I am a sufferer of PTSD, depression etc. with most of the typical issues from childhood abuse and seeing my mother abused by my father. I have on quite a few occasions woken in fright from feeling like I am falling from a great height. I avoid exposed heights as I am not sure what I will do and I wonder if these two things are related.