Hi Retrorock and warm welcome to our forums
Aww, you're not alone. My heart goes out to you as I understand the trauma you have experienced, the behaviours that occur throughout life and the turning point as you come to see things need to change. Thank you for sharing your story, it is never easy is it? Yes, it does feel like chaos, though this is manageable - it takes time and really good trauma therapist.
I'm not a health professional, just someone with lived experience of the trauma of childhood rape and childhood physical, mental and sexual abuse. My husband's story is similar to yours. He was groomed and abused in his teenage years by a teacher. It has taken us a long time to work through the pain and angst of our earlier years.
We have eached worked with our own psychologists. The work hubby did was mostly mindfulness which works for his gentle soul. Most of my trauma work is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, with other therapies added in as needed, e.g. hypnosis, exposure therapy.
Both of us have recovered and healed. Though we get triggered and we are learning one anothers triggers so we can support each other better.
The healing has helped me to become a better person, so I can be a better friend to others. It's been hard. I used to push people away, used to run away from social activites.
It is good you've reached out here Retrorock. Keep reaching out if and when you want. No pressure.
Kind regards
PamelaR
